Still Crazy
by MelShep
Summary: It's been six months. In six months Harley Quinn's life has turned upside down. Nothing is as it was, and slowly she tries to put the pieces back together. But nothing in Harley's world is simple. Not when she has Him watching her every move. Will the King and Queen of Gotham find themselves reunited? Or will Harley have to find a way to survive on her own?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone, I'll try to make this as brief as possible, but please take a few minutes to read this if you can!**

 **This is the sequel to my first Joker/Harley story, 'Crazy in Love' (** s/12231837/1/Crazy-in-love **), and I really reccomend reading that one first if you haven't, because even though I will try to ensure the sequel is accessible to new readers, there will be elements that might not make sense if you haven't read the original (e.g characters who I have invented, the unique relationship between a couple of the characters etc).**

 **To sum up quickly for anyone new, my story uses a slightly different version of Joker/Harley, in that there is a bit more of an equal standing between the two of them. Their relationship is hardly 'fluffy', however it doesn't have the same levels of abuse as you see in the comics. If you're after an abusive, true to comics relationship, this story won't be for you.**

 **I hope you like the first chapter. I'm starting from a rather different area in this story, but I'm really looking forward to seeing where it goes, and I'm hoping that the way I'm portraying Harley is believable when you think about the position she has found herself in. I don't want to give anything away, but all I will say is I love Joker and Harley, and I'm very interested in seeing how they may or may not be able to overcome the difficulties they are going to face in this new part of their life.**

 **Right, that's enough from me! I really hope you like it. I'm going to try to update every Sunday, and really love to get any feedback from you guys if you get the time. This community is so wonderful, and to those who were looking forward to this sequel, I hope I don't disappoint!**

* * *

 _You can try all night, it's never going to look how you want it to._

Harley styled her brown hair in front of the full length mirror in her small bedroom. She ran a hairbrush through, trying to tame it into submission. She wanted it to fall in a glossy curtain down her back, and had spent the last half an hour trying to achieve this, but it was so far disobeying her. Her hair never seemed to do as it was told anymore, not since she'd dyed it. Something about falling into the vat of acid had permanently changed the make-up of her body. Her hair had turned white-blonde, and no longer held dye for more than a couple of weeks. She seemed to spend half her life pouring brown liquid over her head in an attempt to maintain her new look. Her skin had also become the palest milky-white, and she had to coat herself in fake tan just to give the appearance of a normal skin tone. And thanks to those charming women at Arkham Asylum who'd decided to try a little DIY tattooing on her face, Harley now always had to wear thick make-up. Combine those changes with the fact that she had to dress in clothes that a nice person would call 'conservative', and everyone else would call 'grandma-chic', and she found that Harley Quinn no longer looked like Harley Quinn.

This had all been part of Joker's plan.

* * *

" _You want to do what?" Harley asked incredulously, sitting cross legged on the bed. Her hair was ruffled from the activities of the last few hours, and she held the thin bed sheet up at her chest. Joker looked over from the other side of the room, where he was putting his clothes back on. His silver teeth flashed as he smiled._

" _We're gonna rob Bruce Wayne."_

 _Harley raised an eyebrow. "Why him?"_

 _Joker shrugged. "Why not him? He's not just rich, baby, he's stupid rich. And the best part is, I have it on good authority that he keeps a load of cash and jewelry right in his little home-sweet-home."_

" _How much?"_

 _Joker grinned again, "Enough to keep you in lace panties for the rest of your life."_

 _Harley smiled, "You know all the right things to say."_

 _She shuffled over as Bear (the bear cub Joker had bought her for her birthday) climbed onto the bed, snuggling down beside her. She stroked his head absentmindedly. "How do we do it?" She asked. "He's got to have a load of security."_

 _Joker nodded, "He does."_

" _Do you know where he keeps all this money?"_

 _Joker shook his head. "That's the point: we need someone on the inside."_

" _Who?"_

 _The penny dropped as Joker grinned at her once more, buttoning his shirt up. Harley's eyes widened._

" _Me? How?"_

" _His PA is quitting, he needs to hire someone new. He's holding interviews at Wayne Enterprises next week."_

" _And you think he'll hire me?" Harley was skeptical, thinking of her pale skin, pink and blue tipped hair, and the fact that she had the word 'rotten' tattooed on her face. "I'm not sure I'm really 'office material'." She used her hand to gesture to herself, raising an eyebrow._

 _Joker shrugged, "We can work on that." He came over, sitting on the bed, narrowing his eyes a little at being slightly blocked by Bear, and took her hand. "If I remember rightly, you look good pretending to be quiet and normal."_

 _Harley met his eye firmly, "That's because I_ was _quiet and normal before I met you."_

 _Joker grinned, "And it drove me wild. You can definitely pull it off again." He seemed to sense she wasn't sure, because he kissed her hand gently. "Come on baby, there's no one else I can put on this, no one I can trust."_

 _Harley bit her lip, knowing she was beat. "I do like dressing up."_

" _That's my girl!"_

* * *

Harley was wearing only her lacy black bra and panties. Now that she had decided to give up on her hair, she needed to choose something to wear. She moved over to the wardrobe, looking through the range of black and brown dresses. She sighed, thinking longingly of the outfits she used to dress up in: brightly coloured, low cut, and skin tight. Harley held up a little black dress. It was nice enough, but nothing special. Just another example of the incredibly dull person she had become.

In the mirror on the wardrobe door, she could see out of her window, straight into the window of the apartment across the street.

 _He's there again._

There was a man who lived in that apartment, whose bedroom was directly across from Harley's. She could see he was watching her, with no idea that she knew he was doing it. He was maybe a little younger than she was, and from what she could see he was handsome enough. Harley grinned, a little part of her old self beginning to seep through. She allowed him a few more minutes of voyeurism, then turned around, cocking her head to one side at the sight of him. He froze, the realization that she had spotted him flooding over his face. Slowly, yet confidently, Harley slid into her dress. She blew a kiss to the man across the street, then left the room.

Her apartment was small, yet crammed with her roommate's things. Selina was quite the hoarder, which probably stemmed from the fact that she was a master thief. The tiny apartment was full to bursting with antiques, jewelry, and anything else Selina had taken a fancy to during one of her heists. In the fruit bowl, for example, sat a huge ruby the size of Harley's fist, surrounded by peal necklaces. And some apples. Multitudes of antique vases and small statues sat on any available space. Leaning against the wall were several rare paintings, which Harley had actually thrown her coat on top of when she got in earlier. She grabbed it, untangling the sleeve from a diamond necklace that happened to be underneath it, hearing keys in the door as she did so.

"Hey Harls," Selina said, entering the room gracefully. She was wearing ridiculously high heels as usual, yet was always sure footed. She dropped her keys into he bowl by the door, and threw a wallet to Harley. She caught it, opening it up. There was only fifteen dollars inside, not enough that Selina would usually bother keeping it. Harley read the name on the license.

"George Kirston? What did he do?" He had to have wronged Selina in some way. She would only be keeping this wallet as a trophy.

"He pushed me on the subway."

"What a dick."

"I know, right?" Selina grinned, heading to the kitchen and pouring herself a glass of orange juice. "You look nice." She eyed Harley almost suspiciously as she drank, and Harley got her things in her bag, hoping to escape before Selina put two and two together.

Selina's eyes widened. "That's right, it's your big date!"

 _Damn, so close._

"It's not a big date," Harley insisted.

"Oh please, Harley, this is the first date you've been on since-" she stopped herself, not saying the one word that would be sure to send Harley over the edge. "It's the first date you've been on for a while. Even if you ignore who the guy is, it's still a big one."

"Don't make this a huge deal," Harley begged. "I'm nervous enough as it is."

"Why?"

Harley shrugged. "I don't exactly have a great history with men."

"That's true enough."

"I'm not holding out any hope. I'm just looking forward to eating out with someone who doesn't eat from my plate." She eyed Selina accusingly, who just shrugged.

"Food from your plate has no calories."

"Uh-huh."

"Anyway, you'll be fine. Just be yourself."

"That's the problem," Harley sighed. "I'm not sure how to be myself anymore."

* * *

" _Carly Crowe?"_

 _Harley looked up, stretching a smile across her lips. The old man, Alfred Pennyworth, held out his hand and shook hers gently. She was at Wayne Enterprises, waiting to be interviewed for the position as Bruce Wayne's personal assistant. All around her were beautiful women, whom she was competing against for the job. Harley wondered briefly if being attractive was part of the job description: did Wayne only hire beautiful women? And if so, what were his expectations of these women? Did she really want to be put in this position? It wasn't like she had a choice, though. Joker wanted her to do something, and as usual, she was willing to crawl over broken glass if it meant making him happy. If Joker told her to work for Wayne, she was going to work for Wayne._

 _She hadn't expected to be interviewed by the butler, but she was ready to roll with it. She had done enough research on him to know how to behave: what he would respect in a candidate and what he would not. Alfred gestured to the door behind him with a smile. "This way, Miss Crowe."_

 _She grinned, the name still tickling her a little. She followed Alfred through to the large office, where he sat at the desk opposite her seat._

" _I'm sorry that Mr Wayne was unable to attend your interview today," Alfred apologized in his crisp English accent. "He's been called away unexpectedly." Was that a flicker of annoyance that crossed his face? Perhaps she imagined it._

" _Of course, I completely understand," Harley answered politely._

 _Alfred smiled and continued, looking down at the forms in front of him. "Mr Wayne was very impressed with your application form, and you seem to have a great deal of experience. On paper." He paused at that last part, and Harley felt beads of perspiration on her heavily made-up face._

" _Yes, I've been doing this a while," she began, not liking the rather suspicious look Alfred was giving her. "I feel like this would be the perfect position for me."_

" _I see." He held out a cup in front of him, offering her tea. Harley shook her head._

This is fucked. He knows.

He can't know.

He might not know it all, but he knows I'm not what I say I am.

" _Miss Crowe… I can see that you really want this job, and I liked what you wrote in your personal statement. However the names of the companies you state in your job history are fictional."_

 _How could he know that? Joker had set up phone numbers and websites for all the fake businesses and people she said she had worked for. Harley was sweating now, and she was so worried about the make-up covering her tattoo coming off._

" _Why do you want this job?" Alfred asked. He didn't look mad, he didn't even look irritated, just interested. Maybe even a little sorry for her._

" _I don't know," Harley replied. She decided to go for broke: let this man think she was spilling her guts. Maybe even make him feel sorry for her. She let her voice waver a little. "I've spent the last few years working in dive bars, and I woke up the other day and realised that I'm living for nothing. I'm an educated woman, Mr Pennyworth, and I want to make something of myself."_

Please don't let him know my qualifications are fake too.

" _How will being Mr Wayne's PA help you do that?"_

" _Because he inspires me." Harley tried to make her voice sound as though she was in awe. "He does great things, his company does great things, and he doesn't care what people think about him. He's ambitious, and nothing is out of his reach. I want to work with someone like that, to try and learn from him. I'll be honest with you, this isn't where I see myself being in ten years, I want to learn from Mr Wayne, and then create something for myself. Something I can be proud of. But I can promise you that while I work here I will give 100%, and you won't regret hiring me."_

 _She paused, gauging his reaction. This would either work really well, or she'd be asked to get out._

" _I promise, you won't regret it," she repeated._

* * *

Harley stepped out into the warm evening, heading towards her car, which was parked around the corner. It wasn't much, but it was nicer than her old one, and it did all she needed it to do. She climbed in, hoping that most of the rush hour traffic would have dispersed by now.

She was out of luck, as usual, and found herself stuck in a jam. She reached for her phone, sending the message:

' _Running late, be there in twenty minutes.'_

Would he wait? She assumed so. He'd been waiting for this date for long enough, hounding her almost. He'd wait. The question was, did she want him to? She had agreed to go to dinner with him because Selina had convinced her it was a good idea, and because she wanted to get back in the game. She wanted to take her mind off…everything. Her past, and the disaster that had been the past few months. Him.

She arrived at the restaurant twenty minutes late, and hurried quickly to the doors. This was a swanky place, and even though she was wearing the black dress, heels, and a matching silver necklace and earring set (thanks to Selina's sticky fingers), she felt underdressed. There was a maitre de on the door, who eyed her up and down. He was short, squat, and had a strangely shaped mustache, almost as though it had been glued on to his face by someone with shaking hands.

Harley cleared her throat. "Good evening."

"Good evening madam."

 _Madam? Madam? Do I look old enough to be a madam?_

 _Ugh just kill me._

 _Or I could kill him? I haven't done it in a while-_

 _No, Harley._

"Carly Crowe," she said, watching as the man looked at his list. The name had definitely lost its fun now, and was just a constant reminder of her old life.

The maitre de's eyes widened, and he stretched a warm smile across his face. "Of course! Please, please follow me Miss Crowe."

 _Not 'madam' now I see?_

Harley followed the little man through the crowded restaurant. It was decorated beautifully in gold and red, and she wanted to stop to take in the huge mural on the ceiling, but the man was moving quickly, so she hurried to keep up.

There he was, sitting at the table smiling at her. Harley took a deep breath, she wasn't sure she was ready for this.

* * *

" _Mr Wayne?"_

 _Bruce Wayne looked up from his newspaper. He was in the dining room of his large mansion, and looked at Harley with a flicker of a smile. Harley held out her hand as Alfred left the room._

" _I'm Carly Crowe."_

" _Of course," Wayne replied, getting to his feet and taking her hand in his own. "Alfred has told me so much about you. He was very impressed with your application, and your interview."_

" _Thank you."_

 _His grip was firm, and his hands rougher than she expected from a man who seemed to do nothing but spend money and date supermodels._

 _Perhaps that was unfair, this was her first time meeting him after all. Everything had happened so fast. When Alfred had called her that same morning, offering her the job and asked her to start right away, she had barely enough time to slap on some make up and find something conservative to wear. Joker had been over the moon at how easy it had been to get Harley into Wayne Manor, and had kissed her passionately before she left, whispering: "You're gonna do great, baby."_

 _She didn't feel great right now. In fact, as she stood face to face with one of the wealthiest men in the world, she felt nothing but fear. How the hell were they gonna rob this guy and get away with it?_

* * *

"Mr Wayne," Harley sat down opposite Bruce Wayne at the small table. There was an expensive looking bottle of wine in front of him, and she could see he had already poured her a glass.

"You know, you don't have to call me that anymore."

"Sorry."

Wayne smiled. "No, I just mean, you've worked for me for almost six months, and besides which, we're on a date. You keep calling me 'Mr Wayne', and people will think this is a business meeting."

"And that would upset you?" Harley raised an eyebrow, but Wayne just continued to smile.

"I've been trying to convince you to come out for dinner with me for at least three of those six months, even if you're just doing this to shut me up, I'd like to make the most of it."

Harley smiled for the first time since arriving.

"Ok…Bruce."

Wayne held out his hands. "See, it was easy, right?"

Harley rolled her eyes. "Yes, boss."

Wayne laughed, then motioned to the menu in front of her. "This place does the best duck, I highly recommend it."

"Is that what you're having?"

Wayne nodded. Harley looked down at the menu, noting that nothing had the price next to it.

"No prices?"

Wayne shook his head. "No, they're of the opinion here that if you need to ask the price, you can't afford it." He voice was sarcastic, as if he couldn't stand such wealth, ignoring the fact that Harley knew he could afford to buy this restaurant, and six like it, without breaking a sweat.

"Then I definitely can't afford it."

"This is my treat."

Harley shook her head, "No, we'll split it."

Wayne raised an eyebrow. "You're not going to let me pay for dinner?"

Harley shook her head, remembering the last man she let buy her dinner. The one who tried to rape her, before she was saved by-

 _Lalalalala. Don't think about Him, not even His name. Not yet. You're not strong enough._

Wayne looked as though he was waiting for an explanation, but Harley could hardly give one. Just as she thought the silence might crush her, however, he was out of his seat, holding out his hand.

"Come on."

"Where?"

"I know another place."

Harley shook her head, suddenly embarrassed. "No, no, this is fine. I can afford it."

 _I'll just get a salad. They can't charge too much for that, right? It's just leaves._

But Wayne was persistent. He took her hand, dropped some money on the table to cover the cost of the wine, and led her from the room.

* * *

Harley Quinn and Bruce Wayne sat on the steps by the fountain in downtown Gotham, eating greasy cheeseburgers from a truck. They tasted incredible.

"This might be the best burger I've ever had," Harley said, barley caring about the juice running down her fingers. She and Wayne had both left their cars at the restaurant, choosing to walk to the fountain, despite the fact that sky threatened rain. For now they were lucky, and the night was uncharacteristically warm.

Wayne nodded. "I've been eating these since I was a kid. My dad used to take me to get them whenever we came into the city. We had to keep it secret from mom, she was a vegetarian." He smiled at the thought, and immediately looked so much younger. Wayne didn't talk about his parents much, it was nice to see him share such an innocent memory.

"We didn't have much money when I was a kid," Harley admitted. "So my mom used to make these big pots of chili because it didn't cost much. I can't smell chili now without thinking of her."

Wayne smiled, then turned back to watch the fountain.

"I'm glad we finally did this," he said confidently. She was surprised to hear that: they hadn't said much to each other for the majority of the date so far. In fact, they'd pretty much been sitting in silence. But it wasn't awkward. It was a comfortable silence, the kind had between two people who know each other well enough not to need to speak. She'd been having fun without realising, and was just surprised to find he had too.

"Me too," Harley agreed. "I'm sorry I've been so quiet."

Wayne shrugged, "You're a quiet person, but I like that."

 _Oh Mr Wayne, if only you knew._

Wayne continued. "It's nice to be with someone who doesn't need me to talk all the time, someone who can just sit by a fountain and eat a burger."

"Well, with high standards like those, I can see why you're still single."

Wayne laughed, a light boyish laugh so different to-

 _Lalalalala, no. Don't think it._

"Can I ask you something?" Wayne asked, looking at her with a curious expression. "Why did you say yes?"

"To the date?"

He nodded. Harley thought for a moment, and then decided to tell him the truth.

Not the whole truth, that would be stupid, but a fraction of it anyway.

"I came out of a…pretty intense relationship just after I started working for you. I didn't think I would be ready to date again, maybe ever. It's hard to explain, he was-" she didn't know how to finish that sentence, but Wayne interrupted, putting his hand on her arm. "You don't need to talk about him if you don't want to."

Harley nodded, grateful. She continued, "But, I realised that some things just end, and no amount of crying or feeling bad about it can change that. But it also means my life doesn't have to be over. So I told myself if you asked me again I'd say yes. And you did, so I did." She bit her lip. "Sorry, that's probably not the best answer."

Wayne shrugged, smiling. "It's an honest one, and that's always the best kind."

Harley nodded, but now there was a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She hadn't wanted to think about Him, but now she had no choice. There He was, wriggling His way back into her mind, with her powerless to fight Him off.

* * *

" _What's wrong?" Harley looked at Joker with concern in her eyes. He was slouched over the kitchen table with a bottle of something in his hands. He ignored her, and Harley moved a little closer, putting her hand gently on his shoulder. He shrugged her off. Harley scowled._

" _What's wrong with you?" She insisted._

 _Joker groaned. "Something always has to be wrong, doesn't it_ _? There always has to be something going on, something to make you the centre of attention. Can't it ever just be simple?"_

 _Harley recoiled as though she had been slapped in the face. What the hell was this? This wasn't like him._

 _Well, now she thought about it, Joker had been a little distant with her over the past few days. In fact, she had been waiting for the right time to broach the topic, wondering if perhaps he was feeling a little jealous of all the time she was having to spend with Wayne, but she hadn't expected this._

 _Of course, Harley being Harley, she reacted in the way she had become accustomed to: she turned his anger right back on him._

"I'm _the dramatic one? Surely you can see the complete and utter hypocrisy in that, Mr 'Clown Prince of Gotham'?!"_

" _Got it, got it, got it," Joker hissed, holding up one hand but not looking at her. "Harley's right, Harley's always right." He took a long swig from the bottle. She hated the fact that he still wasn't looking at her. He'd been moody the last few days, sure, but nothing like this._

" _What's your problem?" Harley asked, forcing Joker to face her. He got to his feet, kicking the chair out behind him. Suddenly he seemed so tall, and despite her confidence, she felt herself shrinking._

" _You wanna know my problem?!" He yelled, tossing the bottle to the other side of the room where it smashed against the wall dramatically. "My problem is_ you! _Every day you're here, every day you're hounding me, and I'm sick of it!"_

 _Harley crossed her arms protectively across her chest. "Oh, is that right?"_

" _Yeah," Joker nodded, venom in his voice. "That's right. So why don't you do us both a favour, and get the hell out of here?"_

" _What?!"_

" _You heard me, leave! I don't want you here anymore, get out!"_

 _He turned away, heading for the front door of the apartment._

" _Wait!" Harley's voice was full of fear, longing, desperation. Her anger and confidence had completely dissipated, and now all she wanted was to hold him, to force him to stay. Was this really happening? What had she done to cause this?_

" _Please don't go. Don't leave me." She was almost whispering now, trying to fight the tears stinging at the corners of her eyes. She didn't chase him, she stood her ground, scared that any movement towards him would make him leave._

 _Joker didn't turn, but stopped at the door, holding onto the handle._

" _Just tell me why," she begged. "Tell me how I can fix it."_

" _You can't."_

 _The first tear slid down Harley's cheek. She knew this was real. He was leaving her, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. "I don't understand."_

 _Joker shook his head. "That's the problem. You never will." He opened the door, slipped out into the night, and left her to try and piece together what the hell had just happened._

* * *

"Are you ok?"

Harley realised she had not spoken for several minutes, and could feel the cool air drying tears on her cheeks. She got to her feet.

"I'm sorry, I can't…I have to go." She turned, running back up the steps and away from Wayne.

Harley made it back to her apartment within ten minutes, fumbling as she tried to get the key in the lock. It wouldn't turn, and she cried out, throwing the keys out into the street and kicking the door angrily.

But she wasn't strong enough to kick open a heavy door like that, and she had only been half trying anyway. Harley groaned loudly, angrily, and stomped down the steps into the street where it was starting to rain. She was vaguely aware of a figure moving towards her.

"Hey, baby."

She automatically turned, a grin spreading across her lips, but of course it wasn't him. It was just some guy in a tatty coat, who looked like he hadn't washed in weeks. Her smile faded.

"You all alone out here, baby?" He asked, grinning and showing her the yellow glory of all of his five teeth.

"Yeah," Harley replied, her voice firm. She was in no mood for fuckery tonight. If this guy wanted to cause trouble, he had chosen the wrong person.

"Silly girl, don't you know how dangerous the city is?"

Harley just stared him down.

The man continued, "You got the Riddler, the plant woman, the Bat, and of course the clown." He moved a little closer. "The things that one does, woo-eee, crazy." He leered at her. "He'd cut your pretty face off as soon as look at you." Another step closer. "If you're scared, I could keep you safe." This close, Harley could smell the alcohol on his breath, along with something like stale meat. She rolled her eyes.

"I think I'll be fine." She picked up her keys and turned on her heel, eager to be out of the rain.

"Stuck-up bitch."

It was just a mutter, a whisper really, but she heard it. Harley turned around slowly, eyes blazing.

"What did you call me?"

She didn't give him a chance to answer, moving closer and punching him square in the jaw. He stumbled back, clutching his mouth, and spat one of his few remaining teeth onto the ground. Harley wasn't done, kicking him once in the stomach, forcing him onto the tarmac. The rain was pouring now, but Harley continued to kick the man on the floor, screaming and yelling things that made no sense at all, taking out her anger on some guy who just happened to call her a name.

But then she was being pulled away, firmly. Harley fought against whoever it was, but they were too strong. They pulled her back to her apartment building door, one arm around her waist, wrenched the keys from her hand, and unlocked the door, before pulling her (still fighting) inside.

Then, as the door closed, she was released, and Harley stormed up the stairs without even turning to see who had stopped her. Unfortunately, she had to wait outside her apartment when she realised she still didn't have the keys. She turned, and there was Wayne, soaking wet and holding the keys in his hand. Without a word, he unlocked the door to her apartment, and she went inside.

It was dark. Selina was gone, but that was probably a good thing. Harley was in no mood to talk. Unfortunately, she got the feeling Wayne might be. But what could she say, really?

 _Sorry. I beat up that guy because he called me a bitch._

But he didn't ask, he just watched, rain dripping from his clothes. Harley stared him down, almost daring him to ask her, but still he said nothing. Now it was starting to get on her nerves.

"Are you going to say anything?!" She cried.

Wayne thought for a moment. "This is a nice place."

Harley recoiled slightly. "What?"

"This place, it's nice. I like your décor."

It was so unexpected, so casual, Harley found herself on the back foot. "It's my roommate, she decorated. She's into interior design..."

It was hard to imagine how he could see anyway, all the lights were off. But Wayne nodded.

"That's cool, I like yellow."

"The walls are grey."

"Oh right, yeah. Well it's dark-"

"Yeah, I get that."

Then Harley laughed. She couldn't help it. It started as a giggle, quiet and almost controllable, then it escaped, getting louder and louder, until she was practically shaking. Luckily, Wayne seemed to get the joke, because he was laughing too.

Finally, he said, "This has to be the weirdest date I've ever been on."

Harley nodded.

Wayne stepped a little closer. "Are you ok?"

She nodded again.

 _Words soon, Harley, words would be good. Especially for the guy who stopped you killing that man._

"I should go." Wayne moved for the door, opening it gently. He turned to give her one more bemused smile, before stepping out into the hall. The door clicked shut behind him, and Harley was alone in the dark apartment.

 _I could turn on the lights._

 _I could get dressed._

 _I could smash something._

 _I could kiss him._

Harley shook her head.

 _I don't want to kiss him._

 _That's a lie. We both know you want to kiss him, you just feel bad because you don't want to want to kiss him._

Harley's head was spinning, but at that moment there was a knock at the door. She moved over, opening it. It was Wayne. "Sorry, I left my-"

He didn't get to finish his sentence, because Harley had already flung her arms around his neck, kissing him deeply. He seemed a little shocked, then she felt him relax into it, his hands resting on her hips.

 _He doesn't kiss like, Joker._

 _Shut up, it's a good kiss._

 _Yeah, it's good. But I'm just saying, it's not like Joker._

It seemed that it didn't matter what she was doing. The clown was never far from her thoughts.

* * *

 _Across the street, a man called Toby punched the familiar number into his phone. It rung only once._

" _Boss. You wanted an update? She's home now."_

 _The voice on the other end of the line was fast, impatient._

 _Toby took a breath, his eyes still on the window. "No. No, she's not alone."_


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks everyone for your positive comments about the first chapter, I hope you like this one too! Also a huge thanks to _Casey525_ for her lovely feedback, and for all the HarleyxJoker info she's given me. I have some fantastic quotes/poems that I can't wait to start sprinkling in! **

**This chapter was initially a little longer, however I'm in two minds about where to take it based on what happens at the end, so I decided to cut out a little until I was sure about how I wanted Harley to react (it will all become clear at the end of the chapter). Sorry it's a little short, the next one is already much longer and more intense :)**

* * *

 _Oh God._

 _I made out with my boss last night._

 _That was such a mistake._

 _You're an idiot, Harley_.

Harley tried to shake the thoughts away as she drove towards Wayne Manor, where she was meeting Bruce Wayne to discuss his schedule for the week. She did this every Monday. However, unlike every other Monday, her boss had spent at least half an hour last night with his tongue down her throat. It hardly opened the door to a healthy working relationship.

"Fuck," she muttered to herself angrily. "I've fucked it up."

 _Have you though?_ The little voice in her head, the one that always seemed to disagree with her, was clearing her throat now.

 _It's not like you pounced on him: you're both consenting adults._

 _Yeah, but-_

 _And you enjoyed it, even if it was awkward as hell._

 _Yeah, but I still-_

 _And it's not cheating. Let's not forget, Joker left you-_

"Shut up!" Harley yelled aloud to the empty car. She realised she had been clutching the steering wheel so hard that her knuckles had turned white, and gently loosened her grip. She wasn't ready to hear those words, not even now, after all this time.

* * *

She arrived at Wayne Manor, heading up the long gravel driveway towards the beautiful mansion. She told herself that if she had to be with someone else, if she absolutely had to, maybe someone as super rich and influential as Bruce Wayne wouldn't be the worst choice in the world. But she knew, in reality, it didn't mean anything. She'd choose poverty with the clown over all the riches in the world any day. Bruce was a good guy, but he just didn't stack up.

Harley sighed. She had to stop thinking about Him (it was always 'Him' with a capital 'H'). It wouldn't do any good: it was over, and nothing was ever going to change that. All she could do was try to accept her life for what it was. Wayne might not be the one who made her heart race, who made her terrified and exhilarated at the same time, who made her forget everything she ever thought she knew about herself…But he was a good man. A handsome man. One who liked her for who she was.

 _Who he thinks I am. He has no idea what kind of person 'Carly Crowe' really is._

But neither did she. That was the real problem. Sometimes Harley lay in bed at night, eluded by sleep, wondering whether Joker had awakened something in her, or just created it. Was she Harley Quinn? Or Harleen Quinzel? Or Carly Crowe? None of her identities seemed to fit any more. Sometimes it felt like she was a blank notepad: and each important person in her life filled in the pages according to what they wanted to see. Her mother had seen her as a sweet little girl, Harleen Quinzel, so that's what she'd been. Uncle Pete had seen her as a body to be used, someone to keep his secrets, so she'd done that too. Sarah had seen her as Harls: a friend, a confidant, and a Doctor for the criminally insane, so she'd been that person. When she met Joker she'd become the wild and reckless Harley Quinn he had so desired, and with Bruce Wayne she was quiet little Carly Crowe. She had no idea if any of these people were the real her, or whether there even was a 'real' person. Maybe she'd spent so long trying to make others happy, that she'd lost any sense of who she was really supposed to be?

Harley tried to dispel these thoughts from her mind as she parked the car and climbed out. Now was hardly the time for life defining introspection. She walked up the wide stone steps towards the front door of Wayne Manor, ringing the bell in the hope that conversation with Alfred might distract her from her turbulent thoughts.

He arrived on cue, smiling with those kind eyes. "Miss Crowe," he said with a smile, stepping aside for her to come in. The huge entrance hall to Wayne Manor was warm and welcoming, and slowly the fears that had been plaguing her began to ebb away.

"You can call me Carly, Alfred, really. I keep telling you."

"You've got no chance," came Wayne's voice, and suddenly he appeared from the doorway to the left. He was wearing a black t-shirt and sweatpants: he had just been working out. His skin glistened, and gave him a healthy glow. He grinned at the sight of her, and continued. "Alfred's known me my whole life, and I'm still 'Master Wayne'."

"Is there anything wrong with old fashioned good-manners?" Alfred asked as he closed the door.

"No," Wayne replied. "But it makes me look like a bit of a jerk when I just call you Alfred and you refer to me by a title."

Harley shrugged. "Maybe you are a jerk?"

Wayne's eyes widened, a huge grin spreading across his face. "Is that a joke, Miss Crowe? I didn't know you knew about those!"

Harley couldn't help but smile, realising that it was in fact probably the first time she had cracked a joke (albeit a rather poor one) in Wayne's presence. But now she couldn't resist another poke. She spoke in a rather innocent, yet serious tone, "Yes, I looked into what they were after I kept seeing the word written next to pictures of you."

Wayne laughed, a genuine sound that made her feel a little warmer inside. Alfred smiled, quietly making his exit. Now they were alone, and Harley felt a wave of awkwardness wash over her. Luckily, Wayne seemed to get no such feeling, and just nodded in the direction of the door.

"Let's walk and talk," he said, grabbing a towel from a chair nearby and heading towards the stairs. Harley hurried to keep up, opening up her diary and talking through Wayne's schedule for the week as they made their way through the huge house. Wayne spoke quickly, but Harley had become adept at walking, listening, and writing at the same time, and managed to almost make it look easy.

"-and then cancel the meeting with Donald Vaster, I didn't like the way he handled our last dealing."

"He's one of your biggest clients," Harley interrupted, but Wayne shrugged.

"He's got a bad attitude, I don't want to work with him again. We can handle a little drop in profits. And tell Mr Fox that I'll be coming to see him later about the changes to my car."

Harley raised an eyebrow, Lucius Fox, head of R&D, was fixing one of Wayne's cars? Wayne caught her eye, and explained. "There's a problem with the exhaust, nothing serious, but there's no one else I trust to work on it."

Plausible enough, Wayne was very particular about his cars, yet something about the look in his eyes made Harley wonder if he was being honest. Still, she didn't have time to question it, as Wayne had already headed into his bedroom, and she followed behind, still scribbling in the diary. She was only aware that Wayne was undressing when she looked up and saw he was shirtless.

"Oh, sorry!" She blushed, turning around.

 _Blushing? Really Harley? What are you, fourteen?_

Wayne laughed. "You don't have to turn around, I still have my pants on."

"You were about to take them off."

"I think I would've warned you first."

Harley felt a smile play on her lips, turning back to face him. "Sorry."

Wayne shrugged, "I take it from that reaction that you don't want to join me in the shower?"

"I've already had one."

Wayne winked, "Suit yourself." He moved towards his bathroom, leaving the door open a crack. She heard the shower turn on, but he was still talking to her about his appointments for the week, and she continued to make notes.

 _He has a nice body. For a rich guy who just goes to meetings and talks on the phone._

 _He works out though._

 _He must work out a lot to have a body like that. He's even more built than…well, You Know Who._

 _He's not Voldemort, Harley, you can at least think his name._

"Carly?" Wayne's voice drifted through the open door, loud enough to hear over the running water. It took Harley a moment to snap back to reality, and another to remember that 'Carly' was what he thought her name was.

"Yes?"

"Are we gonna talk about the guy you almost beat to death? Or is it too soon?"

Harley's heart began to pound. She had almost managed to convince herself, somehow, that Wayne wouldn't mention it. That maybe he'd managed to forget the whole dramatic incident in the few hours since he'd left her apartment. Unlikely. She doubted a office-man such as Wayne saw that much violence up close, it was clearly going to stick in his mind.

 _Stop calling him 'Wayne'. You've worked with him for six months, and were making out with him only a few hours ago. At least call him by his first name._

Harley frantically tried to come up with a reason, any reason at all, why she might be beating a homeless guy to a pulp in the street outside her home. But time was running out, because the water was off, and Bruce was stepping out of the door, a towel wrapped around his waist. She could smell his body wash, strong and fresh. His bare chest was almost sculpted. He really was gorgeous. But Harley wasn't supposed to be thinking about that. Bruce ran a hand through his wet hair as he waited for an answer.

Harley shrugged. "I don't know how to explain it. Obviously it's not the kind of behaviour you probably expected from me."

Bruce was clearly trying to keep his tone balanced, a charmer through-and -through. "Well, I mean I wouldn't say…No, you're right, I have to admit, I was a little surprised."

He watched her with his warm brown eyes. Not judging, not even suspicious, just curious. But Harley still didn't know how to explain herself. Why couldn't she just tell him the truth: that the guy had insulted her? The same reason she had kept the job after breaking up with Joker she supposed. She was terrified of losing the only stable thing in her life. She needed something to cling on to. If Bruce found out she was, well, a little crazy, he'd fire her. If he fired her, then what would she do? She had no chance at getting another job with her forged qualifications, and she couldn't exactly go back to psychology. She'd shut that door firmly each time she'd caused chaos at Arkham. It would take any potential employer less than a five minute internet search to find that Harleen Quinzel became Harley Quinn, girlfriend to the Clown Prince.

Bruce moved a little closer, as if worried she'd flee. "Did he try to hurt you?" He asked.

Harley clung to this, like a life preserver. "Yes."

Bruce's brows knitted together, and he actually looked angry for the first time since she'd met him. "He tried to-"

"I don't want to talk about it," Harley interrupted, not wanting to give this lie too much detail. "I can handle myself, I used to do self defense classes. I used to teach them actually, so I know how to look after myself. I'm fine, don't worry."

Bruce seemed to be thinking, then nodded. "Ok."

"Ok?"

"Ok. If you say it's over, that you're alright, then that's good enough for me."

Harley felt relief flood right down to her bones, and nodded. "I am."

Bruce mirrored her nod, then turned away. "Oh, there was one other thing I wanted to ask, about last night-"

 _Oh no. I don't want to lie anymore._

"The kiss."

Harley had almost forgotten about the kiss, she was so worried about the near-murder. This caught her off guard, and she simply said, "The kiss?"

Did Bruce look awkward? Uncomfortable? Nervous? That would be a first. "Yeah. Was that a one-time thing? A 'thanks for stopping me beating the homeless man into a pulp' thing? Or something else?"

"Something else like what?" Harley wasn't sure what her answer was. She was stalling.

Bruce shrugged, looking almost like a little boy. "Something else like, something you might want to do again?"

Harley bit her lip unconsciously. "I don't know," she admitted, her first honest reply.

"Well, that's what all guys want to hear," Bruce replied, but he was smiling, joking with her.

Harley smiled. "Sorry. I…I don't know how I feel about it, about…us." Even the word felt wrong on her lips, there was only ever supposed to be one 'us', and it wasn't Harley and Bruce.

"Does it need to be so scary?" He asked, moving a little closer.

"What do you mean?"

Bruce shrugged. "I know your last relationship was…how did you describe it? 'Intense'? I don't want you to feel like you need to do anything you don't want to do. You don't have to call me your boyfriend, or say we're dating, or even say you like me," he smiled, and Harley couldn't help but mirror it. "Maybe just be open to the idea?"

"The idea of liking you?"

"I'm a nice guy." He flashed her his trademark magazine-shoot ready smile.

Harley laughed, nodding. "I could do that."

Bruce's face seemed to light up. "Great!" He regained his cool a little. "I mean, that's good." He moved a little closer, still watching her as if she were a rabbit about to bolt. "So, in the spirit of being open to things, if another kiss was on the horizon, would you be cool with that?"

"Depends who it's with," Harley quipped. "Is he cute?"

"I'd say he's average."

"Interesting?"

"He's kind of a bore."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, he's a business man."

"Snore."

"Exactly." Bruce's warm eyes were so comforting, so familiar, Harley couldn't help but feel safe.

"Is he a good guy?" Harley asked.

"He's ok," Bruce shrugged. "I mean, he's the kind of guy who'll stop you murdering someone on the street, and buy you burgers from a van."

"Sold," Harley replied, allowing Bruce to close the gap between them. He was still wet from the shower, and as he moved into her, she could feel her clothes becoming damp from the water on his chest.

 _This is good. This is fine. I'm getting over Him, and Bruce is a nice guy._

 _It's barely even awkward at all._

 _I'm not even thinking about Joker._

* * *

 _Harley packed her bag hurriedly and headed down the stairs. Her make up had smeared, and she knew she looked a mess, but at this moment she didn't care._

 _Halfway down she practically collided with Jonny, who looked more than a little startled to see her._

 _"Hey…are you ok?" He asked, eyes flicking to the bag in her hand._

 _Harley nodded, then shook her head. "It's over," she choked, embarrassed at how undignified she was being. The opposite to the persona she'd become so proud of._

 _"What is?" Jonny asked, genuinely looking confused._

 _"Me, Joker, everything."_

 _Jonny laughed. He actually laughed at the absurdity of the statement. How could he believe it? Harley wouldn't have believed it if she hadn't actually been there. But then he saw how serious Harley looked, and the laughter stopped._

 _"Why?" He asked, eyes widening._

 _"I don't know," Harley admitted, trying to hold back the tears. "He just said he didn't want me anymore."_

 _Jonny was shaking his head, making to turn around. "I don't understand, let me talk to him-"_

 _Harley shook her head, grabbing at his arm to stop him. "No. I just need to go."_

 _"But he might-"_

 _"He won't." Harley's voice was even, she knew she was right. It was over, and now all she wanted to do was get out._

 _"Where will you go?" Jonny asked._

 _Harley had no idea, she hadn't even thought that far ahead, she just wanted to get away. Jonny could clearly see she had no plans, because he reached for his wallet._

 _"Let me help-"_

 _Harley shook her head, pushing his money away. "No, I'll be fine. Besides, you know he won't want you to do that."_

 _"Fuck him," Jonny lowered his voice to a growl. "He doesn't know what he's doing." He handed Harley a stack of fifties, she had no idea why he carried so much._

 _"You have my cell number," he continued. "If you need anything-"_

 _"Thanks, Jonny," Harley replied, pulling him into a hug. She knew she would never call him. She couldn't put him in that position: he was Joker's man. But she took his money, putting it into her bag and continuing on down the stairs. She stopped, turning back. "Take care of my bear. Please?"_

 _Jonny nodded. Harley smiled, blew him a kiss, and headed for the back door._

* * *

"Harley, you with me?" Selina's voice was quiet, yet somehow cut through the memories flooding Harley's brain. She shook them away, turning to her friend.

"Sorry, yes."

"I need you focused, sweetie, ok?"

Harley nodded. Selina was right, this was not the right time to lose sight of what they were doing. She and Selina were in the Gotham Museum, standing just outside the room where the second largest sapphire in the world was being kept: the Helix Sapphire. Selina had been planning this heist for weeks, but she needed Harley's help. In order to deactivate the alarms on the sapphire's case, two control panels at either side of the room needed to have an authorization code typed in at the same time. Unfortunately, between the two panels were laser sensors, which happened to be constantly moving around the room. Selina had opted for the panel closest to the door, because Harley had made the mistake of telling her how great she was at gymnastics.

"You'll be fine," Selina purred, watching as Harley eyed the laser sensors moving around the room. "Just do what you do best."

"Easy for you to say," Harley muttered, straightening out her outfit. She was trying something new. The old Harley Quinn, the one with the white hair, liked to show a lot of flesh. This Harley Quinn couldn't risk being recognised, so her appearance had to change. She now wore an old style Harlequin outfit in black and red. She had a jester-style hat in the same colours, which covered her brown hair completely. She painted her face even whiter, but allowed her tattoo to be clearly seen, and wore a black mask over her eyes.

Selina was in her skin-tight Catwoman outfit, with a similar eye mask, and beautifully treacherous high heels. Harley often wondered, during their many trips out to steal things together, how Selina squeezed herself into the costume. It was so tight it looked almost painted on, yet her friend never looked uncomfortable.

Harley took a breath, and began her journey to the other side of the room. She was quick, cartwheeling, rolling, and sliding across the floor. At one point she was so sure one of the laser sensors had touched her, so sure that the alarm was about to go off, but there was no sound, and soon she was safely on the other side of the room.

Selina gave her a winning smile, "I knew you'd do it, Harls."

She and Selina quickly programmed the code into the panels, and the lasers disappeared. "Is the case safe to open now?" Harley asked, as the two of them made their way across the room towards the sapphire. Her friend shrugged, "Only one way to find out."

Selina put her hands on the glass case, carefully lifting it up and off. No sound. She grinned, "I think we're good."

Selina reached out, wrapped her fingers around the sapphire, and removed it from the stand, hurriedly depositing it into the small bag attached to her belt. She flashed her perfect white teeth at Harley. "Nothing quite like a giant gemstone to put a smile on my face."

"Some women are so high-maintenance, it's nice to meet someone so down to earth."

Selina laughed, a high-pitched girly sound that didn't seem to suit her sexy appearance. She took Harley's hand. "Come on, let's get out of here."

As they stepped over the threshold of the room they were in, the alarm sounded. It was louder than any alarm Harley had ever heard before, and the lights flashed on and off. Selina's eyes widened, "Run!"

* * *

Harley and Selina managed to make it home without being caught by either Gotham PD or the Bat, which they both counted as a win. Harley was at Wayne Manor today, waiting for Bruce to get back. He'd been called away on some business or another, perhaps to do with his car? Harley hadn't exactly been listening. She'd had a lot on her mind, namely her conflicted feelings over Wayne. When she'd arrived that morning, it had probably taken about twelve minutes before they started kissing, and Harley tried to let herself enjoy it a little more. Wayne was attractive, kind, passionate, and a good man. Harley so wanted to be as infatuated with him as she had been with Joker.

But she wasn't there yet. She liked him, maybe more than she was willing to admit to herself, but she just couldn't get out of her head the fact that he would never match up to her clown.

 _Not my clown. He's not mine anymore._

Then, just as Bruce's hands were beginning to wander, his phone had buzzed. He'd looked at it, apologized, and hurriedly left the room. Harley had stayed on the couch for a while, not sure whether to wait or get up. Eventually, though, she got bored, and without anything to do, began to explore.

It wasn't like it was against the rules. She'd been in the house hundreds of times, she was Bruce's PA, and (perhaps most importantly) she was dating him. Or not dating him – they hadn't exactly labelled it yet, and had only had one date. And they hadn't slept together. But still, they were something. Yet she did feel a little bit like she shouldn't be roaming so freely. Still, she was Harley Quinn, and when the option came to snoop around someone's house, she was hardly going to pass it up.

It was because of this, that Harley found herself in the large library. She wandered around absentmindedly, looking at the spines of some of the old books lining the shelves. There was a piano in the corner of the room, and as she passed, she playfully tapped a few keys.

There was a strange scraping sound, and Harley turned in time to see one of the bookcases sliding forwards, opening like a door.

 _A secret door? Oh Mr Wayne, what are you hiding_?!

Harley knew she shouldn't go in. She absolutely shouldn't. It was none of her business. Whatever Bruce was hiding was none of her business. She knew this.

But of course, she went in anyway.

She walked over to an old fashioned elevator, like something you'd seen in a mine shaft, and stepped onto it cautiously. She looked to her left, where there was a single switch. Shrugging, she pulled it towards her, and the elevator rumbled to life, taking her down into the very bowels of the mansion.

It was dark down there, but there were lights on some of the walls. Harley stepped off the elevator, her heels clicking on the hard stone ground. It was far colder down there than it had been upstairs, and Harley could hear distant sounds of animals. Birds? Something fluttering, maybe bats.

She didn't know what this area had been used for, it seemed to out of place, but Harley continued to follow the long corridor towards the end of the hall, where she could see the space opened up.

When Harley stepped out she felt her jaw drop.

"Oh fuck."

* * *

 _He laid out the photographs on the table. There were at least forty of them. There She was getting dressed, going to work, eating Chinese food, dyeing Her hair, crying._

 _There were lots of Her crying._

 _He knew he shouldn't be doing this. He shouldn't keep looking at Her, but he had no choice. She was his addiction, and trying not to look would be harder than cutting off a limb._

 _That was an idea. He could cut something off and send it to Her? Maybe She'd like it. Maybe She'd laugh. He missed her laugh._

 _Maybe She'd come back._

 _No, he needed to stop thinking about Her, of ways to impress Her. That time was over. He hated himself for what he had done, but it was his only choice. It was better for Her, much better. She was safer now._


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi guys, hope you like the new chapter! I'm a few chapters on in my writing, and enjoying where this is going, so hopefully the next few won't disappoint! Thanks to all who have read/favourited/followed or left reviews so far, I'm really grateful for your support, and it really makes my day to see them :)**

 **I had a few problems uploading this chapter, which messed with the format a little. I think I fixed everything, but let me know if anything looks strange!**

* * *

 _Harley didn't know what she was doing. Here she was: dressed in her brand new Harlequin outfit, having broken into the most expensive jewelry store in town, with absolutely no idea what she was supposed to do next. What was she even here for? She didn't need the money: her job with Wayne was going well, and the money from Jonny still hadn't run out. She was living in a motel, but she would be able to afford to rent a nice enough place before too long._

 _So why had she broken into a jewelry store? Well, that was simple: she wanted to feel something. Since her relationship had imploded, Harley had felt like a ghost. She drifted through life, working or sleeping. She barely ate, she never laughed, she couldn't even remember the last time she'd felt stimulated in any way. But now she was here, standing in amongst thousands of pieces of broken glass with a half-hearted alarm sounding, and she felt nothing. No urge to steal, no desire to run, nothing. She sighed, glancing around the store almost absentmindedly._

 _To her right was a large glass case filled with diamonds: necklaces, rings, bracelets. Harley used her baseball bat, the one Scarecrow had given her so long ago, to smash the case open. She reached for a necklace, which was garland style: a choker at the top, with countless diamonds descending. It had to be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars, maybe more. Harley picked it up, just as she heard a voice behind her: soft and sultry._

" _Who are you supposed to be?"_

 _Harley spun around. Standing behind her, watching her with a mixture of curiosity and confusion, was a woman. She was in a black cat-suit, complete with ears. But this was no Halloween outfit: it looked tailor made to fit her, to hug her every curve. She stood on dangerously high heels, with her hand on one hip. Her lips were painted dark red, and Harley could see she had brown hair. Harley didn't answer, and the woman stepped further into the store, glass crunching beneath her shoes, her eyes never leaving Harley's own. She looked her up and down, as if trying to piece together a puzzle. One that wasn't very complex._

" _Let me guess," she began with a smirk. "Jester-Girl?'_

 _Harley smiled, but it wasn't genuine. "That's right, and you must be Pussy-Whore? I've heard so much about you."_

 _The woman smirked, "Charming." She looked around the store, the alarm still sounding. "Good job at getting in undetected. I assume that baseball bat was your delicate tool of choice. I hear you have to be pretty skilled to use one of those so accurately."_

 _Harley let out a short, sarcastic laugh, spinning the bat gently in her hand. The woman continued. "I have to ask, why haven't you run? Aren't you worried about being caught?"_

 _Harley snorted. "By Gotham PD? Those guys are so useless, they'll still be looking for their car keys."_

" _There are more dangerous people who come when an alarm sounds."_

" _I'm not afraid of the Bat."_

" _Then you are a fool." The woman's voice was less playful now. For the first time Harley thought she saw a hint of something else behind her eyes. The woman moved closer. "Well, this has been lovely, but I need to get going. If you'll just give me the necklace?" Harley was surprised when the woman held out her hand expectantly, like Harley would just give it up? She raised an eyebrow._

" _Really? You think it'd be that easy?"_

 _The woman shrugged. "Worth a shot." She kicked out, catching Harley off guard and knocking her back against the cabinet. It didn't break, thankfully, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt like hell: the sharp edge of the case immediately bruising Harley's back. Harley kept hold of the necklace, getting back to her feet. "You really want to do this?" She asked, looking at the woman's petite frame._

I could take her, _Harley thought confidently._

" _Not really, but I need the necklace, so you know-" the woman threw something to the ground, and Harley found herself enveloped in thick, acrid smoke. She tried to keep hold of the necklace, but it was wrenched from her fingers. Harley cried out, desperately trying to escape the smoke, eyes streaming. She swung her baseball bat blindly, smashing cases but not hitting her intended target. Tears were flooding from her stinging eyes, and she was so sure she would blinded if she didn't escape soon._

 _Finally she stumbled out of the smoke, and saw the woman heading out of the broken window. Harley followed, holding her bat tightly._

Someone's just begging to get her head splattered!

 _The woman was running now, surprisingly fast in such ridiculous heels, and headed down an alley to the left. Harley was catching up though, she'd always been quick, and managed to grab hold of her in the alley, pushing her up against the hard brick wall of the building on her right. She kept her steady with one hand, holding the bat up with the other._

" _Drop another bomb and I'll make sure you swallow every one of those pretty white teeth," Harley threatened._

 _The woman rolled her eyes, but made no motion to grab another grenade. "What do they call you?" She asked Harley._

" _Harley Quinn."_

 _The woman smiled smugly. "How orignal."_

 _Harley raised an eyebrow. "And what about you?"_

" _...Catwoman."_

 _Harley grinned, "I don't think you should be throwing stones from your particular glass house."_

 _The woman smiled again, "Perhaps not." She allowed Harley to pull the necklace from her hand, and Harley released her grip, allowing Catwoman to stand in front of her._

" _Why do you want it?" Catwoman asked._

 _Harley shrugged, answering honestly. "Why not?"_

 _Catwoman looked almost repulsed. "That's it? You don't know anything about it?"_

" _Should I?" Harley asked almost lazily, more to irritate the Catwoman than anything else. It worked, her face seemed to burn._

" _That is a one of a kind necklace designed by Stefano Canturi. The diamonds have a total of 134 carats, and it's priced between $750,000 and $1 million dollars."_

 _Harley tried to make her expression as blasé as possible, she enjoyed making the Catwoman angry. "Huh, that so? How much do you think it'll go for down in the Gotham Markets? I need to buy a new bag."_

 _Catwoman finally seemed to realise Harley was purposefully trying to irritate her, because she looked at her with a tired expression. "You have no idea how ridiculous you sound."_

 _Harley stepped back, grinning. "Lighten up Kitty-cat, life's for living."_

 _Catwoman folded her arms across her chest, taking one step away from the wall and speaking to Harley in a serious tone. "I have a buyer interested in that necklace. If you let me have it, I'll give you half."_

" _Why would I do that?" Harley asked, raising an eyebrow. "I_ have _the necklace. I could sell it myself and keep the whole score."_

" _To who? Do you have any idea where to find a buyer for an item like that?"_

 _Harley shrugged. "Internet?"_

 _Catwoman scowled, arms still crossed. "You know I think you-" she froze, looking up at the sky. The colour drained from her face, and she took a little step back. Harley turned to follow her gaze, though she knew what to expect already. Yep, there it was: Batman's symbol in the sky above Gotham. The Bat was on the streets tonight, it was probably better to get inside._

 _Or it would've been, if it weren't for the fact that the sneaky bitch had just snatched the necklace and run for it!_

" _Hey!" Harley yelled, giving chase._

" _Go steal something else!" The Catwoman called behind her. "Maybe some clothes that don't make you look like a runaway from the medieval fare!"_

" _I think it's time you got spayed!" Harley retorted angrily, close behind the cat-thief._

 _Catwoman turned the corner, leaving the alleyway, before immediately reappearing, running back towards Harley._

" _Move!" She cried, and Harley saw the Batman appear at the entrance to the alley. He was on foot, but she knew he could be fast when he wanted to be._

" _Fuck!" Harley cried, joining Catwoman as she made her escape. Outside the alley she saw her slip into a nearby building, and Harley followed, not knowing where else to go anyway._

" _Why are you following me?" Catwoman hissed, running up the stairs to what Harley now realised was a derelict apartment building._

" _I just can't get enough!" Harley replied sarcastically, following her into a dark room. Catwoman ran towards the window, which she couldn't open._

" _Dammit!" She cried out, making her way back towards the door and leaving Harley alone inside. But soon Catwoman returned, and Harley knew the Bat must've been coming up the stairs. Harley ran for the bathroom, while Catwoman hid under the bed._

Rookie mistake, _Harley thought pityingly._

 _Sure enough, within seconds Batman was in the room. He stepped in quietly, the dusty floor muffling his footsteps. He was taller than Harley remembered. She wondered if he remembered her? She was pretty sure he would. In fact, she was pretty sure he'd like nothing more than to beat the crap out of her. Did he beat up women? Even if he didn't, he might just make an exception for the woman who'd got away from him more than once, making him look like a fool each time._

 _From Harley's position, she could see the room through he crack between the door and the frame, and could make out Catwoman clearly, clutching onto the necklace under the bed. She could see by her expression that she realised what a bad choice she'd made in hiding there, but it was too late to change it now._

 _The Bat knew she was there, of course he did, and within seconds he had wrenched her rather roughly out from under the bed._

" _Catwoman," he growled._

" _Hi," she replied, her voice a seductive purr. "Did you miss me? I'm sorry I never called."_

" _Save it," he interrupted. "I'm taking you back to jail."_

 _Catwoman pouted. "But you know I don't look good in orange." She reached for her grenades, but the Bat was too fast, grabbing hold of her hand. He cuffed her quickly, then met her gaze sternly. "Let's go."_

 _The Cat was beat. She glanced briefly at the door behind which Harley was hiding, but said nothing, making no attempt to rat her out. Harley knew she had to do something, for some reason she couldn't bear to let this woman get taken away. Not when she may have found what she had been waiting to find for the last month: someone like her. The way this woman carried herself, the sarcasm, the melancholy expression: it was almost like looking into a mirror. Harley couldn't let her be taken away. She knew what she had to do._

 _As Batman led Catwoman to the door, Harley stepped out of the bathroom. She swung her bat high, and struck Batman across the head. He went down, but wasn't knocked out. Still, they had a chance._

" _Run!" Harley cried, pulling Catwoman from the room._

 _And they did: the ran for what felt like hours, though it could only have been a few minutes. Catwoman took Harley to her apartment, and only once they were inside did Harley's heart begin to start beating normally again. She helped Catwoman free herself from the cuffs, then the two of them stood in silence in the dark for a while, neither knowing what to say. Finally, Catwoman broke the silence._

" _Thanks."_

 _Harley shrugged. "No problem. Thanks for not telling him I was there."_

 _Catwoman shook her head, "No point both of us getting caught. If I'd have known you were going to free me, though, I wouldn't have left the diamonds on the floor under the bed for you."_

 _Harley let out a little laugh. "You're kidding?"_

 _Catwoman smiled, "No. How ironic." She pulled off her mask, fully revealing her face for the first time. She was beautiful, though Harley could've guessed that before she took the mask off anyway. Harley took off her own, alongside her hat, and the two women looked at each other properly for the first time._

" _I'm Selina," said Catwoman._

" _Harley."_

" _So Harley, when shall we go back for the diamonds?"_

 _Harley grinned, "I like the way you think."_

* * *

 _You should've stayed upstairs, Harley. Now it's all fucked._

It was the Batcave. No one had ever seen it of course, but everyone knew Batman had to have somewhere to hole up, somewhere to store all his gadgets. This had become known as 'the Batcave', and this was definitely it. For one thing, Harley could see the Batmobile parked in the corner. There was a huge computer console, larger than any computer Harley had ever seen before, on a platform surrounded on all sides by water, save for a thin walkway. All around the cave were a huge assortment of weapons, gadgets, and other bat-related gear. In fact, everything was either shaped like a bat, or emblazoned with a bat symbol.

"Someone's got a fetish," Harley muttered, running her hand along a sharp, black metal bat, which somewhat resembled a throwing star. She was trying to make light of this, of the horrible discovery she had just made. How could things ever be the same after this? Even if she pretended she didn't know, could she look at Bruce the same way knowing who he really was? Knowing how much he hated the real her? How he would turn her in if he ever found out?

 _What if I never found this place? What if we fell in love, and one day I told him about my past? Would he still love me? Or take me straight to Arkham?_

Harley shuddered at the thought. Perhaps it wasn't so bad that she'd followed her gut down here. She may have just saved her own life, despite how shitty it felt right now.

 _You couldn't just pick a normal could you? Is a regular guy so hard to find in this fucked up town?_

Harley sighed, continuing to wander around the Batcave. She could see where his suit was supposed to be, there was a huge case not far away. But it wasn't there. Batman, or Bruce, or whoever he was, was out.

 _He's going to kill me._

The thought hit Harley like a train. She tried to rid herself of the idea: Batman didn't kill people, she knew that. But something else she knew was that she had screwed up his plans several times: he hated her. Not Carly Crowe, of course, but he hated Harley Quinn.

Harley kicked herself, how had she been so stupid? Not in the not knowing: she couldn't blame herself for that. Batman's identity was one of the most highly guarded secrets in the world: she imagined the only person who knew was probably Alfred. No, she blamed herself for managing, once again, to get involved with a man who was bad for her. She thought she was making a sensible choice with Bruce, yet somehow she'd managed to get herself in more trouble. What would he do when he found out who she was? Which he was bound to do. Batman was meant to be the world's greatest detective. In fact, she almost judged him for the fact that he hadn't discovered her yet. Surely that said something for her acting skills?

At the far side of the huge room was the opening to the cave, and Harley could see water flowing over the entrance: effectively hiding it from view from anyone who happened to be wandering the grounds of Wayne Manor. There was a sound, which Harley only realised was a motorbike when it was too late to hide. Suddenly, Batman's bike seemed to fly through the waterfall entrance, skidding to a halt only a few feet from Harley. There he was, the Bat. He froze, eyes wide, those same brown eyes, looking at her in horror.

He climbed off his bike slowly, his eyes never leaving her. When he spoke, his voice was as gruff as she remembered Batman's being. She wondered if it was hard work putting it on?

"I suppose it's too much to hope you haven't put two and two together-"

"Hello Bruce."

He sighed, pulling off his mask. She could see he'd darkened around his eyes, which gave him an almost comical, panda-like appearance, yet there was nothing funny about this. Bruce held the mask in one hand, looking like he wasn't exactly sure where to start.

"Look-"

"Don't," Harley interrupted, holding her hand up. "I won't say anything, don't worry."

 _It's not like I've really got anyone to tell._

 _Joker would-_

 _Don't think about him, you won't tell him anything._

Bruce still looked a little unsure, but there wasn't much he could do about it. He stepped forwards slowly, taking Harley's hand in his gloved ones.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want you to find out like this."

Harley raised an eyebrow, a small smile playing on her lips. "You didn't want me to find out at all."

Bruce grinned. "True." There was still a rather nervous look on his face, and Harley tried to make her tone as reassuring as possible.

"Bruce, I promise, I won't tell anyone."

* * *

Harley opened the door to her apartment, dropping her keys into the bowl. Selina was on the couch, reading one of her many stolen books. She smiled widely when Harley came in.

"Hey, good day?"

Harley nodded moving towards the kitchen. "Uhuh."

She heard Selina sit up. "What happened?"

"Nothing." Harley tried to make her voice light, casual, as if her world hadn't turned upside down for the second time in six months. But of course, Selina was not deterred to easily, and got to her feet.

"Something happened, what was it?"

"Nothing, honestly!" Harley's voice was higher than she meant it to be, and she could see that Selina was under absolutely no illusions that her friend was telling the truth. She stood in front of Harley, her hands on her lips, giving her _that_ look.

Harley took a bottle of coke from the fridge, trying to drink it nonchalantly. But Selina took the bottle from her hand, setting it down on the counter. "You tell me right now what piece of juicy gossip you're hiding, or I swear I'll do that thing you hate."

Harley scowled, "You wouldn't."

Selina grinned, wickedly, starting as usual with her fingers, which she bent backwards and pulled at to make them pop and crack. Harley hated hearing other people pop their joints, and clenched her jaw automatically. "Stop, stop, stop! Don't! I'll tell you."

Selina grinned. Harley had to think fast, think of anything that would be believable enough to be true, yet exciting enough to be classed as 'juicy'. She couldn't tell Selina about Bruce. She may have been even more uncertain about how she felt about him now, but she cared about him enough not to blab his secret to the first person she ran into.

 _Think of something, anything!_

But Selina suddenly gasped, clutching her hand to her mouth. "It's Wayne, isn't it?"

Harley's heart hammered against her chest, and she felt herself sweating. "What?"

"It's so obvious now! I can't believe it took me so long!"

Harley was shaking her head, "No, not it's not-"

"You slept with Wayne!" Selina was practically giddy, clapping her hands together and spinning in a little circle. Harley felt relief flood her face, and she nodded.

"Yes, yes we did."

Selina looked like the cat who got the cream, and ran to get a bottle of wine and some glasses. "Tell. Me. Everything."

Harley sighed. This was going to be a long night.

* * *

"This is so…" Harley waved her hands, searching for the adjective. Luckily, Bruce seemed to get her point, because he just smiled, holding her hand and leading her further into the Bat Cave. He was still in full Batman attire, having only just got back from some mission or another. Harley hadn't asked for details: she could only just stand to be here, with him dressed like that. It brought up way too many memories. She didn't need to hear any more information about who he had been fighting today: she was too scared to find out who it could've been.

"I've never brought anyone down here, other than Alfred," he explained. "And Robin, of course."

"Am I going to meet him?" Harley asked, remembering reading somewhere that Batman now had a sidekick, even though she'd never seen him in person.

"I'm not sure, I haven't told him you know yet."

Harley nodded, and Bruce continued. "It's weird for me bringing someone else down here. Though I guess even more so for you."

"How so?"

Bruce shrugged. "This is so different to what you're used to, I guess. It must be a little overwhelming?"

 _Overwhelming? Am I overwhelmed that the guy I'm dating also happens to be a masked vigilante, who (on numerous occasions) tried to capture me and my super villain ex boyfriend? Is it a little overwhelming that said vigilante also got his ass handed to him the last time we met?_

"No, not really," Harley lied. "I'm adaptable." She shrugged, smiling.

Bruce mirrored her grin, pulling her closer and kissing her gently. She was getting used to the kisses now. No, that sounded wrong, like she didn't enjoy them. She did, it was just…different. Harley had just told herself she had to get used to feeling something different. Different didn't have to mean worse, just different.

Bruce showed her around the cave, reminding her more than a little of a child wanting to show off his toys. It was sweet really. As they rounded a corner, Harley found herself in front of a huge glass cell. The cell was not empty. She felt her stomach drop, her breath caught in her throat, and she froze.

There, sitting in the cell, was Jonathan Crane. AKA Scarecrow. AKA the man who'd declared his love for her on several occasions, before she'd knocked him back each time in favour of Joker.

He looked a little worse for wear: roughed up with a black eye, a split lip, and dirty, torn clothes. He looked up at the sound of her approach, and his mouth dropped open a little.

 _He knows. He knows it's me._

The make up, dyed hair, and tanned skin meant nothing. He recognised her immediately. The only question was, would he give her up?

Harley widened her eyes, pleading with him not to say anything. He stayed silent for the moment, but his eyes never left her own. Harley cleared her throat, speaking to Bruce in little more than a whisper.

"Who is this?"

"Jonathan Crane, also known as the Scarecrow." Bruce's voice became more gruff, and she recognized it as his usual Batman tone. It made sense: he had to completely hide who he was in front of Scarecrow, it was just bizarre to have been talking to Bruce in a Batman suit only seconds before, and now be walking alongside Batman. Yes, it was the same person each time, but now she felt nervous and uncomfortable.

"What's he doing here?" She continued, her mouth dry.

"I need information from him. When I have it, he'll be going back to Arkham."

"Can't wait," came Crane's silky, smug voice. "I hear they have some terrific doctors." His eyes flicked to Harley, but as yet he was keeping her secret. Harley hated to see him like this, so small and broken. She hated the Batman.

But she liked Bruce. She didn't know how much more of these conflicted thoughts her brain could take.

There was a buzzing sound, an alarm was ringing near Bruce's computer. He headed over, leaving Harley and Crane alone for a moment.

"Are you ok?" Harley breathed, not wanting to make eye contact, choosing instead to look at her feet. Her black pumps were a little scuffed, she would have to buy new ones soon.

"Pleasure to see you, Harleen. Though I'm curious to know what you're doing here?"

Harley didn't get a chance to reply, because Bruce reappeared. "I'm sorry, I've got to go."

"Trouble?" Harley asked, pointedly not looking at Crane, whose eyes never left her.

"Nothing to worry about," Bruce replied. "Will you be ok here?" He glanced at Crane, lowering his voice to avoid being overheard. "Maybe wait upstairs? We can have dinner when I get back?"

Harley smiled, nodding. "Ok."

Bruce leaned in, kissing her once more. "I won't be long." And with that he left, and she saw him heading towards the Batmobile. She watched him drive away, not wanting to turn back to Crane, sensing that he was still watching her.

"Well, that was interesting."

Harley sighed, turning back. "I know what you're thinking."

"I'll bet."

"It's not like that."

Crane's smug grin was right there, mocking her. "Of course."

Harley gritted her teeth, pacing in front of the glass. "Don't do that, don't act like you know me."

"Oh, but I do."

Harley stopped, "Oh really?"

"Yes."

Harley felt her face flushing with anger, raising her voice a little. "You think you're so smart? How come you're the one in the cage, and I'm the one who's free?"

"Are you? Are you free?"

 _How does he read my mind like that?_

But Harley fought hard to hide the fact that Crane was, as usual, completely right. In fact, she simply made her voice more cold. "Really? Well, seeing as you're so astute, why don't you go ahead? Diagnose me, _Doctor Crane."_

"How long ago did he break up with you?"

Harley recoiled as if slapped in the face. "How did-"

"Your eyes, Harleen. You look like you've given up."

"Don't pretend-"

"And we both know there's no way you'd be here, shacking up with the Bat, if you weren't rebounding from your dalliance with the clown." His cold eyes were steady, and it was Harley who broke eye contact first. "Tell me," he continued. "What happened?"

Harley tried to look strong, but felt her walls crumbling. "Why should I?"

Crane seemed to be musing this. "Because I didn't tell the Bat who you are? Because we used to be friends? Or maybe because you want someone to talk to?"

That was it, she was done. She felt her voice crack a little when she spoke next. "I don't know what happened," she admitted. "He just ended it."

"He gave you no reason?"

She shook her head. Crane considered this. "Well, I'm sure he had his motivations."

Harley scowled, "That's your professional opinion?"

"We both know I'm no doctor any more than you are."

Harley smiled for the first time. "That's true enough."

"There's that smile," Crane grinned. "So, how about you do me a favour?"

Harley knew what he wanted, but she asked anyway. "What?"

"Let me out of here."

She shook her head. "I can't do that."

Crane got to his feet, at eye level with Harley now. She forgot how handsome he was. She'd never really thought about it before, not when she had Joker. She shouldn't be thinking about it now, she had Bruce. Right? Still, he was attractive in that smug, half-beaten-up way. Harley felt the old Harley Quinn rearing her head, the one who used humor and flirtation to avoid actually dealing with anything. She cocked her head to one side.

"What will you give me?"

Crane seemed to sense the change, his eyes becoming a little less cold. "What do you want?"

Harley smiled. "I thought you knew everything about me?"

"I thought so too. Maybe I was wrong."

Harley mock gasped. "Heaven forbid."

Crane grinned, looking like he was about to say something, but they were interrupted when Harley heard Alfred calling her name. She turned back to Crane, blowing him a kiss as she walked back towards the elevator. "Don't go anywhere, Craney."

"Missing you already," he drawled.

* * *

 _This is a terrible, terrible, idea._

 _It's a good idea. Don't be a wuss._

 _No, it's terrible. Think about what you're doing here, do you really want to end up back in Arkham?_

She didn't, of course she didn't, but she couldn't leave things how they were either. Crane had saved her life before, he'd saved her from Batman himself, so surely she had to pay him back? So that was what she was planning. She'd dressed in her Harlequin outfit, made up her face, and gone back to Wayne Manor.

It was late. Bruce had cancelled their dinner, telling her he had to go to Metropolis and would be back tomorrow at the earliest. This was her best chance. She had a key to Wayne Manor now. It wasn't that she and Bruce had suddenly become more serious, no she'd managed to steal a spare when Alfred wasn't looking. It would make things easier tonight, even if it made her feel bad.

 _Don't lie to yourself, you don't feel bad at all._

She slipped into the house, not making a sound. Everything was so much more eerie at night. Harley didn't like it, and hurried on towards the library. She had no idea where Alfred's room was, and just hoped he wasn't one for late night walks. She wouldn't hurt him, she did genuinely like the old man, but she'd have to tie him up, and she didn't want to have to do that.

Luckily she reached the library without meeting anyone. It didn't take long to get down to the Batcave, and soon after, she was standing in front of Crane's cage. He was awake. Did he know she was coming?

"Well, well," he said, a smile creeping across his lips. "This is a different look."

"Bite me, Crane."

"Perhaps later."

Harley grinned, getting to work on the lock, using the lock picking skills Selina had taught her over the last few months.

"Do you really think it will be that simple?" Crane asked, standing in front of the glass door.

"Yes," Harley admitted simply. "It's not like he expects anyone to find this place, why would he waste time on fancy locks?"

Crane mused on this while Harley worked.

"Does he make you happy?" He asked.

Harley didn't answer for a few moments, then decided to be honest, while dodging the question a little. "He doesn't make me sad."

"Is that the only choice?"

Harley shrugged. "He's a nice guy, he'd look after me if I wanted him to."

"You don't need looking after."

"I didn't say I did. I just said he would if I asked."

Crane didn't reply. Harley changed the subject. "Where will you go?"

"Why? Are you planning to visit?"

Harley sighed, "Forget it."

"I'll go home. For a while."

"And then?"

"Who knows?"

The lock clicked, and dropped to the floor. Harley stood up, triumphantly pulling the door open. Crane stepped out into the Batcave, looking around curiously.

"What I wouldn't give to have a poke around in here."

"Flattered, but I'm taken," Harley quipped, and Crane laughed, his usual short blast of laughter.

"Charming."

"You need to leave," Harley began, serious now. "We don't know when he'll be back, and I don't want you to hurt him."

"Really? Would it break your heart?"

 _No._

"I don't know."

Crane nodded. "I suppose I owe you, so I'll go. Thank you."

"Quinn."

Harley's eyes widened. She knew that voice. She turned.

 _How the hell did he get back without us hearing him?!_

Batman stood only a few feet away. Had he heard their conversation? It didn't seem so, he'd called her 'Quinn' after all, and not 'Carly'.

"Evening, Bat," Crane grinned. "Where's your pretty friend, this evening?

He was testing the water, finding out for Harley whether or not Batman knew who she was. She loved him at that moment.

"Get back into your cell, Crane. You too, Quinn."

 _He doesn't know._ Harley felt a little relief, but was more worried about her current situation. She would not go into the cell, not back to Arkham.

"Love to, Bats," she began, thickening her accent, making her voice as unrecognizable as possible. "But we've got a date." She grabbed Crane's hand, pulling him quickly towards the elevator. On the way she dropped one of Selina's grenades. It slowed Batman only a fraction, but it was enough for Harley and Crane to get onto the platform and get it moving.

They rode it up to the mansion, and took off at speed. Harley kept hold of Crane's hand, pulling him quickly from the house as soon as they reached the door. She'd 'borrowed' a car earlier, using one of Selina's other techniques, and quickly jumped inside. Crane slid into the passenger seat.

Harley brought the engine to life, and the car roared down the driveway towards the gates to Wayne Manor.

"Your boyfriend is chasing us." Crane's voice was even, almost nonchalant. Harley looked in the mirror, sure enough Batman was there on his motorbike, closing the gap between them.

"He's not my boyfriend," Harley insisted. "We're just dating."

"Right," Crane replied, still watching the Batman in the mirror. They were out of the manor now, and Harley accelerated even harder as they headed towards Gotham.

"You just seemed pretty close earlier today-"

"I don't need to explain my relationship to you Crane!"

The Bat drew closer, and Harley felt something hit the car. Suddenly one of the tires blew out, causing the car to swerve across the road. Harley struggled to maintain control of the vehicle, finally getting it moving forwards again. But it was slower now, and Batman pulled up alongside. He punched out the window next to Harley, reaching in to grab her. Harley turned the wheel, forcing the car into a sharp turn and causing Batman to lose his grip.

They raced along a quiet street, but Batman wasn't giving up, and he shot out another tyre, once again making it almost impossible for Harley to control the vehicle. She held onto the wheel tightly, screaming as she tried to keep the car straight. But then another tyre blew, and the car was forced from the road into the wall of a building.

* * *

When Harley opened her eyes she was alone. Crane was gone, and the front of the car was crumpled into he wall. Her airbag was slowly deflating. Everything was blurry, but she could see the shape of the figure approaching.

"Crane?" She mumbled, sounding drunk. No, not Crane. It was the Bat. She almost said his name, almost called him Bruce, but managed to stop herself. He pulled her from the car forcefully, pushing her against the body of the vehicle roughly. It hurt, and in that moment she hated him. Really hated him.

"Get off me!" She cried, fighting back as much as she could while he tried to cuff her. She kicked out, knocking him back, but as she turned to run he grabbed her, pushing her into the car. Harley fell forwards, hitting her head on the door frame. Suddenly everything was even fuzzier, and she stumbled, falling to the ground. Batman…Bruce, whoever he was, pulled her up, and she fought against him. She may have liked Bruce, but this was the Bat, and she wouldn't let him take her, not back to that place. She kicked and punched and screamed and scratched, but it barely seemed to do anything. She was weak, especially after the blow to the head. She could feel blood on her face, but she didn't know where it was coming from. Bruce held her in place now, and she finally stopped fighting.

"I'm taking you back to where you belong, Quinn."

Harley laughed. If only he knew what that meant for their blossoming relationship.

"You're insane," he muttered, "I hope you liked the food at Arkham, because you're never leaving that place ever again."

Harley forced a smile across her lips. "That's so cute, you think you're scary." She lowered her voice to a whisper. "Well mister, I've seen scary, and you ain't got his smile." Batman narrowed his gaze, reaching for the restraints on his belt.

Harley stood her ground. Not breaking eye contact.

 _Sweetie, I think the honeymoon might be over._


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for all your great feedback so far guys, I can't overstate how much your lovely reviews mean to me :) I hope you like this next chapter!**

 **Just a quick comment based on a guest review I got (I'd normally send a private message but can't do that for guests!): I know this chapter takes some twists and turns, and I appreciate that for some of you it might seem a little 'out of nowhere'. I hear the feedback, and just wanted to say that I really hope it doesn't seem unbelievable to you. I feel like the Harley I write about has become part of me somewhat, and her conflicted feelings in this chapter mirror my own. Harley's life is spiralling a bit, and I just hope you can hold on tight and see this through with her. I'll try to make sure it's worth it, and hope the story is still enjoyable! :)**

* * *

Harley watched Batman reach for the restraints, but then he froze, as a hollow sound rang out. Batman fell, and Harley saw Crane standing behind him, holding Harley's bat.

"I'm glad I bought you this," he remarked, smiling. Harley grinned as Crane held out his hand to her. She stepped over Batman, who was already trying to get back to his feet, albeit unsuccessfully, and let Crane lead her away. They ran, Crane holding onto her hand tightly, pulling her left, then right, then through doors and alleyways, until finally they stopped. They were leaning against the wall of a tall apartment building in the rough side of town. The city was quiet, and Harley watched as a cat stalked towards an alleyway in the distance, hunting something.

"You were late," Harley panted, out of breath. Everything was still spinning.

"I was deciding whether or not to leave you behind," Crane said, eyes serious.

Harley grinned. "No you weren't, you love me, we both know that."

If Crane was surprised by her bluntness, he covered it well, and just smiled in his usual way (the way he did when he thought he was better than someone else - his favourite feeling). "You know, I hear modesty is a very desirable trait in a woman."

"Is that so?" Harley asked over her shoulder as she headed off, spotting a car not far away. She smashed the window with her bat, leaning down to hot-wire the vehicle.

Crane followed close behind, and she heard his voice drift towards her as he approached. "What makes you think I still love you? It's been six months."

Harley shrugged. "I'm cute."

Crane didn't agree, but he didn't deny it either, and Harley grinned as she continued to work on the car. Soon the engine roared to life, and they climbed inside.

* * *

Harley parked outside the apartment building Crane had directed her to. He got out, and she followed.

"This is where you live?" She asked, raising an eyebrow and looking up at the unattractive building. Several windows were boarded up, and there was graffiti sprayed on the walls. The garbage cans outside were overflowing.

"Not what you're used to, I assume?" Crane replied.

"Just not what I expected from you."

Crane shrugged, heading towards the door. Harley followed him. He lived on the third floor, and Harley could hear someone crying in the apartment across the hall. There was yelling from the apartment downstairs, and suddenly someone screamed across the street. She kicked aside a broken syringe with the tip of her shoe.

"This place is pretty swanky," Harley remarked, "Is there a waiting list to live here?" Crane rolled his eyes. He put his key in the lock and stepped inside, Harley close behind.

"Do come in," Crane drawled sarcastically.

"Thanks," Harley grinned.

She looked around. While the building was practically a wreck, the apartment itself was just what she would've expected from Crane. Though he'd yet to turn on the lights, and it was still dark outside, she could see the space around her was meticulously neat, minimal, and incredibly clean.

"This is more like it," Harley nodded.

Crane disappeared into what Harley guessed was the bathroom, and returned with a cloth, a bottle of something, a needle and some thread. Harley groaned.

"Sit down," Crane ordered, not unkindly, but sternly. Harley dropped onto the couch, exhaling in frustration. Crane sat beside her, pulling off her hat and then sweeping her hair off her forehead. He poured some of the liquid from the bottle onto the cloth, and held it to her head.

"Ow," Harley said sarcastically. Crane ignored her, dabbing at her head, then turning on the lamp on the table beside her to get a better look. Harley was momentarily blinded, but soon her eyes adjusted. Crane leaned in closer, examining the wound more carefully.

"You need stitches."

"Fantastic."

"I can do them here, or you could go to the emergency room?"

Harley gave him the look: as if she could really go to the emergency room dressed like this, and with the Bat looking for her! Crane reached for his needle. "Here it is, then."

It hurt, of course, but it wasn't exactly the first time Harley had experienced a needle on her face, so she took it like a trooper.

"Do you remember the last time you had to stitch me up?" She asked, trying to distract herself.

"Mhmm," Crane replied, focused on his work. That was fine, Harley was more than capable of speaking for the both of them.

"Yeah, I let Zsasz cut my face in exchange for information, and you stitched me up after. Man, he was crazy wasn't he? I mean, I know, look who's talking…but still, totally nuts that guy. I wonder what made him like that. I never thought to ask Sarah. Do you remember Sarah? She was my friend who-"

"You know, it's rather hard to make a neat job of this while you're talking."

Harley shrugged. "So don't make it neat. It's not like I'm trying to impress anyone."

"Not even the Batman?" Crane asked, eyes still on his stitches. He said 'The Batman' with such sarcasm, as if the very name was beneath him.

Harley sighed. "I think we might be on a break. Let's not forget who did this to me."

"That's hardly fair."

"How so?"

"He didn't know it was you."

Harley raised an eyebrow, earning her another frustrated look from Crane. But she had to ask: "You're on his side?"

"I _hate_ the Batman. But that doesn't mean I think he's a bad guy."

"That makes no sense."

"Look at what we're doing. When was the last time your life made sense?"

Harley smiled. "Good point. But still, you think I should forgive him?"

Crane didn't answer directly, finishing of his stitches. "He didn't know it was you. He was trying to subdue a criminal who might've been about to go on a killing spree."

"It was still a dick move, pushing me into the car."

"On that, we can agree."

He moved back, and Harley got to her feet, going to look at herself in the mirror. Crane had done a perfectly neat job, of course, but she'd still have some explaining to do when she saw Bruce next.

If _I see him again. The jury's still out._

Crane moved to his fridge, taking out a bottle of water. He offered it to Harley, and she shook her head. Crane opened it and took a swig, leaning against the counter. The only light came from the lamp by the couch, so half of his face was in the shadows. He looked exhausted, and his perfect hair was uncharacteristically mussed up from the crash and the getaway.

"Well, that was an interesting evening."

"Mmm," Harley agreed, taking a spot beside him. She took hold of his bottle, taking a drink.

"I offered you one," Crane said.

Harley shrugged. "I wanted yours."

Crane rolled his eyes, but didn't take the bottle back.

"Are you going to tell me what happened with the Joker?" He asked.

Harley shook her head. Crane didn't push any further, and the two of them stood in silence for the longest time.

Harley was still waiting for her heart to stop racing. She'd just escaped the Batman…Bruce…whoever he was. Her feelings for him were now more conflicted than ever. Bruce would never have handled her so roughly, Bruce would never have spoken to her like trash. But Batman did, and Batman _was_ Bruce. Could she really have feelings for someone who could flip like that? Yes, Joker was dangerous, but he was consistently dangerous. No surprises there.

Well, until he dumped her of course.

And now, here she was, with someone from her past, someone she had more than a little chemistry with, dressed as a slutty jester and sharing his water. This was all a little intense. She should probably get out of there before she did something stupid. Technically she was seeing someone.

 _Someone who just roughed me up and made me crash my car._

 _He's not technically my boyfriend._

 _No, but what about-_

 _And neither is Joker, I need to stop thinking about him._

Crane's eyes were ahead, staring thoughtfully through the window. Harley took hold of his cheeks gently, turning his head to face her.

 _Oh Harley, you're about to do something so stupid._

Crane looked at her curiously, and she pulled him close, kissing him. He kissed her back for a moment, then pulled away gently, his voice a whisper. "What are you doing?"

"Shut up," she ordered. Slowly a smile crept across his lips, and he pulled her close, kissing her again. This was different to Bruce: Crane was gentle at first, then dropped the bottle of water, not reacting as it shattered on the wooden floor, and kissed her roughly, with all the passion of someone who'd wanted something for so long. He took hold of her hips, pulling her against him. Harley threw her hands around his neck, and Crane lifted her onto the counter, running his hands through her hair, holding onto it tightly. She bit his lip, hard, and Crane's breathing hitched. But he grinned, wiping the pinprick of blood away with his thumb.

The phone rang, but they both ignored it.

Harley reached for Crane's belt, undoing it quickly and pulling it from his pants. She dropped it to the floor, then unbuttoned his shirt. His chest was strong, not defined like Bruce's or His, but still strong. He had no tattoos. She ran a trail of kisses across his pectorals, up to his neck. The phone stopped ringing. Crane pulled at her zipper, unzipping the outfit to her waist, revealing her black lace bra. He stopped for a moment, eyes drinking her in, before kissing her again, hands roaming her exposed skin. Harley reached for the button of his pants, undoing it and slipping a hand inside. He was a rock, and she tightened her fingers around him. He gasped, slipping his tongue into her mouth, his hands holding onto her face as if terrified she'd leave.

The phone rang again, and again they ignored it. It soon stopped.

His hands were on her bra straps, pulling it off and throwing it to the floor. His breathing caught again as her hand begin to work up and down the length of him. His fingers squeezed and kneaded at her breasts, thumbs skimming the sensitive skin of her nipples. Harley gasped.

The phone rang again, and Harley paused. It was right next to her on the counter top.

"Ignore it," Crane breathed, running kisses along her neck. It eventually stopped ringing. Harley giggled as Crane peeled the outfit off her body. He spread her legs, moving closer to her, toying with the delicate material of her panties.

Then the phone rang again. Harley groaned, and in a moment of madness, grabbed the receiver.

"Whoever this is, Doctor Crane is very busy right now. Call later." She giggled as Crane continued to kiss her neck, clearly he didn't care at all who was at the other end of the line.

"I need to speak to Crane." The voice crackled, as if the caller had bad phone reception.

"I'm afraid his hands are far too busy," Harley gasped, as Crane slid one delicious finger inside her.

Suddenly the voice became much clearer. "Tell Crane that if he doesn't take the phone right now, he's gonna wake up in the river _without_ his hands."

Harley couldn't breathe. Her voice was a croak. "J-Joker?"

* * *

Crane grabbed the phone from Harley, moving away to the other side of the kitchen. His voice was low, quiet, but she could still hear.

"No. No. That's not any of your…no."

Harley couldn't hear what Joker was saying. He wasn't yelling, she knew that much. Was that good or bad? She pulled her Harlequin outfit back on hurriedly, sliding into her shoes and searching for her hat. She suddenly felt self conscious. Crane was watching her while she did this, still shirtless, his hair slightly ruffled. He looked good, but that was the last thing on Harley's mind anymore.

 _What does Joker want? Why is he calling?_

"I understand. Fine." Crane hung up, putting the phone gently back onto the holder, watching as Harley zipped herself back up.

"Harleen-" he began softly.

"How did he know?" She interrupted.

Crane looked confused, shaking his head. "No, it wasn't…he didn't know. At least I don't think he did, until you answered the phone."

Harley considered this for a moment, her mind spinning. "So…why was he calling?"

Crane was silent for a long time, before finally answering quietly. "I can't tell you."

Harley's eyes blazed with anger. "You _what?"_

"I'm sorry."

Harley began to put the pieces together. "He's called you before?"

"Yes."

She felt like she'd been slapped in the face, like he'd betrayed her. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Crane looked like he was searching for an answer, then shook his head. Another thing he couldn't explain, clearly. Harley clenched her jaw, trying not to yell, not to scream, even though it was all she wanted to do.

"I need to go," Harley muttered, "This was a mistake." She made for the door, but Crane was close behind, and took her by the wrist.

"You don't have to leave, Harleen."

"Don't call me that! Let go of me!"

Crane released her immediately, holding his hands up in surrender. "Sorry, Harley. It's just…you don't have to go."

She shook her head. "No. I do. This was a mistake." She reached for the handle.

"So you're going back to him? The Bat?" Crane's voice was condescending.

Harley spun around. "And what if I do? What business is it of yours?"

"You think he'll be able to make you happy?"

"He doesn't lie to me," Harley spat. "That puts him miles above you and Joker."

"But you lie to him," Crane retorted. "Is that really any better?"

"You don't know me, Crane."

Crane's face softened. "I do. You know I do. Please, don't let him get between us."

Harley shook her head, opening the door. "There is no _us."_

* * *

She had forgotten to get back into the stolen car, and was three blocks away before she remembered, but it didn't matter. Harley needed time to think, so she continued to walk the twenty blocks to her own apartment. It was 3.00AM, and the streets were silent. Harley's head, however, was not.

 _This is so fucked. I've fucked everything._

 _Don't panic. Let's lay it out, bit by bit, try to make sense of it._

 _Ok, let's see: I'm dating Bruce Wayne, who's actually a masked vigilante who hates me. I'm cheating on him with Jonathan Crane, who's actually a dangerous criminal who loves me, but who knows something about Joker that he won't tell me. And all the while, I'm still in love with Joker, who treated me like dirt and threw me out._

 _Ok, you're right, this is fucked._

Harley didn't know how to feel. At this moment, there were three men in her life, and she both hated and cared for them all.

"Harley?" A car had pulled alongside her, and Selina was looking out with a worried expression on her face. It was only at that moment that Harley realised it was pouring with rain, and she was soaked to the skin.

"What the hell are you doing?" Selina asked, getting out into the rain. Her voice was stern, yet worried. She was dressed in her Catwoman outfit: she'd been working tonight. Selina hurried over, taking Harley's arm. "You're freezing, come on." She led her to the car, easing her gently inside.

"Let's get you home."

* * *

Back in their apartment, Selina dried Harley off, because she was such a state she could barely look after herself. She helped her change into dry clothes, and sat her down on the couch with a cup of coffee and a blanket around her shoulders. Selina sat opposite.

"Ok, tell me everything," she said, softly.

So Harley did. Everything. Bruce Wayne's identity, her evening with Crane, Joker's phone call. Everything. Selina listened, asked no questions, and didn't interrupt. Finally Harley was done. Her coffee was cold, and she placed it, un-drunk, on the table. Though she felt like a weight had been lifted, she was still miserable.

"Ok," Selina began softly. "Well, haven't you been busy?"

Harley smiled weakly. "I guess so."

"So, what are you going to do?"

Harley shrugged, gesturing to the blanket around her shoulders. "I have no idea. As you may have noticed, I'm not exactly on top of things right now."

Selina smiled. "Ok, well, let's put it into perspective. Your biggest problem is that there are three men in your life? Maybe that's not the worst problem to have?"

Harley rolled her eyes. "One of those men hates me, one of them lied to me, and the other pulled me out of a car and tried to handcuff me."

Selina winked, "Sounds fun."

Harley sighed. "I don't know what to do."

"Well let's talk about them one by one. Tell me about Bruce, how do you feel about him?"

Harley shrugged. "I like Bruce. He's a good guy."

"Tell me the good things about him."

"He treats me well, he respects me. He's kind, and he listens. He's gorgeous: most women would kill to be in my shoes."

"And he's rich," Selina interrupted. "Let's not forget that."

"Of course."

"Ok, so what are his flaws?"

"He's Batman."

"Yeah, that sucks."

Harley shook her head, her voice venomous. "I _hate_ Batman. He wants to take me to Arkham: he's tried to get in the way of anything I've been involved in, and he's pretty much a douche."

Selina nodded. "I get all of that. Nice body though."

"Yeah."

"Ok," Selina continued, shifting slightly to cross her legs on the couch. "What about creepy Crane?"

Harley sighed. "He's not creepy, not really."

"We'll have to agree to disagree on that," Selina replied. "What's good about him?"

"He's funny. He knows who I am and he still likes me. He's handsome."

"I can see that," Selina conceded. "Without the mask of course. Ok, what about his flaws?"

"He lied to me: he's involved with something with Joker but he won't tell me what."

"Maybe he's in danger?" Selina suggested. "Maybe Joker said he'd kill him if he told you what was going on?"

"Maybe," Harley replied. "But I would've thought he'd tell me anyway. He's never been scared of Joker before."

Selina shrugged, not able to suggest an answer. She sighed, "Ok, now for the biggie. Joker."

Harley felt her stomach drop. "What do you want to know?"

"The same as the others: good and bad."

"Good?" Harley considered for a moment. "Everything. He made me laugh, he made me feel like a queen, he listened to me. He cared. He let me be my true self, and loved me no matter what. He saved me when I didn't even know I needed saving. Being with him-" she trailed off, not able to find the words for a moment. "Being with him was like being alive, truly alive. Now it's like I'm just existing."

"And the flaws?"

"There's only one. He doesn't want me."

* * *

Harley arrived at Wayne Manor the next morning not really sure what to expect. She knew Bruce didn't know it was her last night, she could tell by the way he had acted, but it still felt weird coming back when she'd only made her getaway a few hours ago.

"Hey," she said, greeting Bruce down in the Batcave. He looked stressed, sitting in his chair in front of all the screens. He looked over, smiling at the sight of her.

"Hey," he replied, getting to his feet. His eyes were as warm as always, and he pulled her in for a gentle hug. Suddenly Harley felt incredibly guilty: guilty for her evening with Crane, guilty for telling Selina his secret, guilty for hating the other part of him. Just guilty for being who she was.

"Are you ok?" He asked, clearly noticing how stiffly she was standing. He stepped back a little, spotting the stitches on her forehead.

Harley nodded, trying to relax her posture. "Yeah, I'm fine. I walked into a door."

 _Great, real original, Harley._

"You know how clumsy I am," she added. "I had to spend an hour waiting to get it stitched up last night, but it doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would." She changed the subject: "Anyway, are you ok?" She pulled away, planting a chaste kiss on his lips. He smelled good, as usual. He sighed, shaking his head a little, and nodding to Crane's empty cell.

"It's been one hell of a night."

* * *

Harley and Bruce sat in the café downtown, killing time before his next meeting. It was strange sitting out in public with him: he got a lot of attention from passing women, many of whom actually stopped to gawp him out. They threw him smiles and seductive looks, yet he only had eyes for her. It made Harley feel more than a little guilty about spending the evening with Crane's tongue down her throat.

 _And on my neck, and my breasts-_

 _Yeah, we get the point._

"So, tell me about her," Harley broached, not sure she wanted to hear the answer.

"Harley Quinn?" Bruce put down his coffee, sighing. He'd filled Harley in on what had happened the night before, and she had feigned a casual interest in the mysterious 'Harley Quinn'. Bruce shrugged his shoulders. "She's crazy, what else is there to know?"

"Everything, everything you know about her."

"Why?"

Harley shrugged, "I'm interested, she sounds…different."

Bruce let out a single laugh. "You could definitely say that." He thought for a moment, taking another sip of coffee. "She _is_ different. I don't think there's another criminal in Gotham quite like her."

"How so?"

"Most of them have a purpose. They're doing what they do for a reason: Penguin, Catwoman, Riddler, even the Joker. They do things according to their own agenda. Ok their agenda might be completely nuts, but they live by their own rules. Quinn's different."

"In what way?"

"She does things for others. Her actions are all part of someone else's plan. It used to be Joker, then it was Catwoman. Now it's Crane. I don't think she can do it alone."

Harley felt a little twinge of annoyance, but she also knew there was a good chance he was right. Maybe that was what irritated her more.

"Maybe she cares for other people?" Harley tried to suggest evenly. "Maybe she likes to help her friends?"

Bruce shook his head. "She doesn't strike me as the altruistic type. More likely she's got no ambition: she _needs_ to be led."

 _Don't sugar coat it, Bruce, say what you really think._

"It's strange though," Bruce continued. "I never thought she'd escape Joker's grasp."

"Really?"

"She was too dependent to walk out on him. I wonder if he decided to cut her loose: he's always been one to do the unexpected."

Harley tried to ignore how much that stung, and took a breath, trying to sound casual. "Have you…have you seen much of the Joker recently?"

Bruce shook his head. "No, not since he escaped Arkham. He's planning something though, he's rarely quiet for long."

Harley nodded.

"It's Crane that surprises me," Bruce added. "I never thought he'd have any interest in women, let alone someone with baggage like Harley Quinn. Maybe he thinks he can use her against Joker."

Harley narrowed her gaze a little. "Maybe he just likes her?"

"I can't imagine that, somehow," Bruce continued, smiling at the very thought, and unaware of the hole he was digging himself into. "She's beyond irritating, and despite his insanity, he's an educated man."

"You don't think Quinn's educated?" Harley asked, using every drop of self control in her body to hide her anger.

"She was a doctor, so she must have some level of intelligence, but I wonder if that's been flushed from her brain through a mixture of Joker's abuse and the numerous dye-jobs she's had." Bruce grinned at his little joke, and Harley tried to mirror it. She wondered if it would be out of character if sweet little Carly Crowe threw her scalding coffee in Bruce Wayne's lap.

She put down her cup, forcing herself to avoid the temptation, now aware that her hands were shaking a little. "Abuse? You think Joker abused her?"

"Of course, there's no way he would be able to handle an equal relationship. No, she would've just been a pawn to him, for him to play with whenever he wanted. I doubt she had any idea what he was doing. She would've thought he loved her, but she'd have been deluding herself."

"And what about Crane, is he using her too?"

"Maybe, like I said, to get to Joker. I can't think of any other reason he'd want to be with her."

Harley's heart was racing, the blood was pumping around her body so fast that all she wanted to do was pick up her mug and smash it into Bruce's perfect face. She got to her feet. "I'm so sorry, I'm not feeling well. I need to go."

Bruce looked surprised. "Oh, sure, you want a ride?"

She shook her head, "No, no I'll be fine. I'll see you tomorrow."

* * *

 _I can't think of any other reason he'd want to be with her_.

 _I can't think of any other reason he'd want to be with her_.

 _I can't think of any other reason he'd want to be with her_.

The words rattled around in Harley's skull. She was so angry she could spit, could smash something, could kill someone. It was probably for the best that there was no one else around, the docks were relatively quiet this afternoon.

Harley didn't know what the hell she was doing. Why had she marched to the docks? Why was she heading to the door of Joker's club? What was she hoping to achieve?

 _This is so fucking stupid._

But that didn't matter, she wasn't in the mood to listen to logic: only to yell and fight. There was the club: still looking like an abandoned building from the outside, still with the same bouncer on the door. She had never learned his name. He glanced at her only momentarily before she yanked the door open and headed inside, not waiting for him to open it for her.

The wall of music hit, flooding her with memories of her past. Here was the beautiful club, there were the flawless women dancing on the stages and around the poles. Harley knew she looked out of place: wearing her grey pencil skirt and jacket with a boring white blouse. Her brown hair unremarkable, her skin tone the same as everyone else's. But she didn't care, she was still angry. She needed to be angry. She needed to confront him: to hear him confirm or deny all the things Bruce had said.

 _Oh fuck._

There he was, sitting in his usual booth. Oh he looked so beautiful, so perfect. Harley had never truly understood the phrase 'my heart skipped a beat' until that moment, when she found herself almost struggling to breathe. He was wearing the maroon shirt that she loved him in, unbuttoned at the top revealing his perfect porcelain skin. His hair was its usual vibrant green, and he sat forwards, viewing the club almost lazily.

He was looking at her now, having spotted her from across the huge room. Harley took a breath, much of her anger flooding away at the sight of him.

 _I love you. I love you so much._

She shook her head, remembering Bruce's words.

" _She would've thought he loved her, but she would've been deluding herself."_

" _She was just a pawn to him."_

" _I can't think of any other reason he'd want to be with her_."

There it was, the fire was back. Harley stomped over, pushing aside the men watching the dancers until she was at his booth. Jonny was there, his eyes wide at the sight of her. He looked conflicted, like he didn't know whether he was supposed to throw her out, or give her a hug.

"I need to talk to you." Harley's voice was firm, staring Joker down.

His icy eyes met her own. "Then talk." His voice was just as silky as she remembered, with those deep gravelly undertones.

Harley glanced around the crowded club. "Not here."

Joker gestured to the space around him. "You want to talk, so talk."

Harley scowled, stepping a little closer. "Ok, fine. What was I to you?"

Joker didn't reply, his eyes never leaving her. Harley continued, "Did I ever mean anything to you? Or was it just a joke?"

Still no response, just watching her with those cold eyes.

"Fucking say something!" Harley yelled, aware that people were beginning to stare. Joker nodded at Jonny, who moved away, giving Harley the briefest nod as he passed. Joker got to his feet. He closed the gap between the two of them, so close he could've kissed her if he wanted. But he clearly didn't want.

"You want to know what you were to me, sweet little Harley Quinn?" He twirled a strand of her brown hair around his fingers gently, looking at it with some amusement, before letting it slide free.

"Just tell me," Harley growled.

"You were fun. A plaything. Very good at what you did, but ultimately, nothing more."

"You're lying." Harley's eyes blazed into his own. "You're just saying it to hurt me."

Joker shook his head. "If I wanted to hurt you, I'd tell you about all the women I've had since you. The ones who were taller, stronger…prettier." He grinned wickedly, then continued in a cold voice. "You. Meant. Nothing." Harley slapped him across the face. It caught him off guard, and he slowly turned his head back, the smile flickering.

"Don't you fucking lie to me," Harley whispered, her voice full of rage. "You can say you don't want me. You can say you've slept with other women, but don't you fucking pretend it didn't matter."

Joker shrugged. "Believe what you want to believe, sweetheart. If you've come for another ride, I'll be more than happy to take you upstairs. Or better yet, do it right here." He grinned, gesturing to the couch behind him. "Otherwise, I think our conversation is over." He turned, sitting back down in the booth, watching her coldly.

Harley stepped back. "I. Hate. You." She turned, leaving him where he stood, leaving the club, tears streaming down her cheeks.

* * *

Harley hammered on the door angrily. Her cheeks were still wet, her hair was a mess, and she felt exhausted. But she had to come here. She had to know. She had to mean something. The door opened moments later, and Crane stood in front of her, taking off his glasses as he viewed her tear stained face. He was holding a book, and put it on the table beside the door.

"Harleen? What-"

"Tell me what I am," she interrupted.

"I don't understan-"

"Tell me what I am to you. Am I a toy? A thing? Do I matter?"

He looked confused, "Why are you asking? What happen-"

"Just tell me," she insisted, wiping her cheek.

Crane just watched her for a moment. "You matter."

"I don't love you." She said the words without meaning to.

He nodded. "I know."

She stepped into the room, into his arms, kissing him roughly. Crane slammed the door with his free hand, and she pushed him against it.

* * *

 _Joker looked around at his apartment. Once beautiful, it was now in pieces. Anything that could be picked up had been smashed. Broken glass and furniture fragments littered the floor, but he didn't care. He breathed heavily, trying to get a hold of himself._

 _He'd never hated himself more._

 _It had made so much sense at first: what he had done. It was better for Her to leave, to get away from him. What had happened, that day when She went to meet Wayne, would change his life. It would make him dangerous, and he couldn't risk hurting Her. If he killed Harley he'd have no reason to exist._

 _Not that he had much of a reason now. Telling Her those things, those lies, seeing Her broken like that… He'd come upstairs looking for a jagged edge, a friendly blade to ease his suffering, but had instead taken out his frustration on his surroundings._

 _He wanted Her._

 _He couldn't have Her._

 _But someone else did. Someone else had Her, right now._

 _Good. Let Her be happy._

 _She can't be happy without me._

 _You don't know that._

 _I need Her._

 _She needs to be free of you._

" _Argh!" Joker picked up the coffee table, throwing it at the wall at full force. He wasn't done being angry yet._


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi guys, I really hope you like this chapter! Thank you for all the reviews for the last one, very interesting to see all your differing opinions on Harley/Crane, and hopefully I can make sure everyone is satisfied with how it goes!**

 **Just a small point, I know a couple of people were asking where the Crane/Harley thing came from, and I just wanted to explain it a little for anyone who hasn't read the original story (Crazy in Love), where the groundwork was laid for this. In the first story, Joker was kidnapped by Penguin, and Harley teamed up with Crane to help bring him back. This was a several chapter long story arc, in which their friendship built up, as well as a little chemistry. Long story short, Crane eventually admitted to having feelings for Harley, but she chose Joker over him (despite caring for Crane a great deal). This is why Harley sort of 'fell into' her interaction with Crane in the last chapter: he'd been a big part of her past, and was someone who was important to her. Joker was always her first choice, but Crane and Harley sort of 'got' each other, so it was like returning to an old friend.**

 **I hope that makes sense? Normally I'd not want to explain my story in an authors note, because I should make sure I write well enough not to need to, but I realised I was putting a lot of stock into the idea that everyone who reads this would have read the original story, when actually lots of you haven't! I'll try to make sure that if I'm referencing something from the original story, I explain it enough for new readers to understand too :)**

 **Anyway, hope you like this chapter. I would also just like to add that I find it so wonderful that even those of you who weren't keen on the Crane/Harley pairing, said some really kind and positive things in the reviews. I can be very sensitive about negative comments, because I feel like I'm not doing a good enough job (I just don't have much of a thick skin I suppose!), so it was wonderful that even when people weren't sure about Harley's choice, they still said lovely things about the story. You guys are all so kind, I love posting on here :)**

* * *

"That might've been a mistake." Harley rolled over, turning to face Crane who laid beside her in the large double bed. His hair was mussed up, and he looked exhausted. It had been several hours since she arrived, and they hadn't exactly spent the time talking.

"Almost certainly," he agreed.

Harley groaned. "My life is fucked."

"No, you _were_ just fucked. Your life is fine."

Harley had to smile at the usual smug sincerity in Crane's voice, but her joviality didn't last long, as the weight of her actions began to come down on her.

"I keep making bad decisions."

"Thanks very much."

Harley pushed him playfully, "You know what I mean."

"I'm assuming you saw Joker today?"

"How did you know?"

"You arrived at my house with tears on your face, smelling of cigarette smoke, and jumped me at my front door after I said I cared for you. It's just a guess."

Harley sighed. "He said I never meant anything to him. That it was just for fun."

Crane scoffed, "And you believe that?"

"He was pretty insistent." Harley remembered the cold look in his eyes, blinking away the tears that threatened.

Crane sighed. "Don't get me wrong, there's no love lost between the clown and myself. In fact, it would be most beneficial for me if he were to go away and die in the gutter and leave you alone forever," Crane smiled fondly at the idea. "However, I think we can both assume that – as is always the case with Joker – things are not quite as simple as they seem."

Harley shook her head. "I hate him."

"Yes. And you love him. That must be rather inconvenient."

Harley pushed him again, still softly. "Don't try to analyse me Doctor Crane. I had enough of that at Arkham." But of course he was right, that's why it hurt so much.

Crane continued, his voice smooth as he stroked a strand of hair behind her ear. "So, I suppose I can cope with being second to the clown. But I have to ask, where does the Batman come into all of this?"

Harley shrugged. "I don't know how I feel about him. He's the better guy out of all three of you."

"Once again, thank you."

She grinned. "But I don't…he doesn't _know_ me. Not like you, or Joker."

"So you like me more than Batman?"

Harley smiled. "Perhaps. Just a little."

Did Crane actually look a little thrilled with this? He did! "I can live with that."

"I still feel bad though," Harley admitted. "I need to break it off with him. It isn't fair."

Crane shrugged. "Fair is for ugly people."

She raised an eyebrow. "But you want me to stop seeing him, right?"

"I want you to myself, yes. But I wouldn't dream of telling Harley Quinn what to do. You might storm out of here again, and I'd hate for my neighbours to get the wrong impression."

At that moment there was a scream from one of the other apartments. Harley's eyes widened. "Yes, we wouldn't want them to think you were anything less than an upstanding citizen."

"Exactly." He smiled, putting his hand on her cheek. When he spoke again, it was little more than a whisper. "I know this is only temporary. I know that I'll lose you one day: that he will call you back to him."

Harley tried to interrupt, but he shook his head, continuing. "But I plan to make every minute count."

Harley smiled and pulled him closer, enjoying the feel of his soft lips on her own.

* * *

"Harley, I never thought you had it in you." Selina laughed as she and Harley made their way quickly through the house. It was empty, Selina knew the owners were away for the week, and now was the perfect opportunity to break into the safe and steal the diamonds. Harley didn't feel too bad about that, the diamonds had been stolen from someone else first, so really she and Selina were doing a good deed.

Ok, Selina was planning to keep them, but still, they weren't taking some priceless family jewels or anything.

"So what was creepy Crane like?" Selina asked, beginning her work on the safe.

Harley sighed, "I wish you'd stop calling him that. He's not creepy!"

"He wears a mask and poisons people."

Harley raised an eyebrow. "Hmm, list of people I know who've worn a mask and poisoned people with a toxic gas: Crane, Batman, you."

"I never poisoned you."

"You dropped one of those grenades the first time we met!"

Selina shrugged, "That was barely enough to give you a sore throat. Not poison."

"I was coughing for a week!"

"Unrelated."

"Anyway," Harley continued. "He's not creepy. He's sweet really, if you ignore the whole smug self-righteousness attitude. And he knows my deal: he knows I'm not over You Know Who, and he accepts that."

"Uhuh." Selina moved closer to the safe, listening as she turned the dial. "What about Bruce? Have you told him yet?"

Harley shrugged. "I haven't _seen_ him yet. I'll speak to him tomorrow."

"That'll be fun."

Harley sighed. "I know, I'm dreading it. But it's the right thing to do."

"Quick and painless," Selina suggested. She put on an over-the-top imitation of Harley's voice, still continuing to work on the safe. "Honey, I'm cheating on you with the Scarecrow because the clown (another guy I want more than you) doesn't want me anymore. Also I'm Harley Quinn. Bye!"

Harley rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah, super painless. Thanks."

The safe clicked and opened. Selina squealed as she reached inside and took out the diamonds. "This is like Christmas!"

"Drop the diamonds."

 _Oh no._

"I don't think that's Santa," Selina groaned, eyes flicking to Harley.

Harley knew that voice. She turned, and Selina got to her feet and did the same. Standing in the dark doorway was Batman, watching both of them coldly. He wasn't alone, Robin stepped up beside him, also staring them down.

"Hey stranger," Selina began huskily, eyes on Batman. "Long time no see. I missed you."

"Not so long for me," Harley added, ramping up the accent once more. "But I still missed ya!" She looked from Batman, to Robin, to Selina, a smile playing on her lips. Her heart was racing, but she was Harley Quinn, so she couldn't resist saying something completely inappropriate. "Hey! I see the four of us here, four attractive people in costumes, and you know what I'm thinking? We could make some real fetish porno movies. What do you say Bats? Bird boy? I hear it's easy money!"

Robin smirked a little, but Batman looked at Selina. "Not the kind of friend I pictured you having."

Selina smiled, the un-genuine smirk she saved for people she didn't like. "What can I say? I think she's funny."

"Drop the diamonds," Batman repeated, "And hold up your hands."

Harley saw Selina's eyes flick to the window. She knew she was formulating a plan quickly. "Sure thing," Selina replied silkily, making as if to put the diamonds down, but grabbing one of the grenades at her belt. Instead of throwing it at Batman, however, she dropped it at their own feet, coating the women in a cloud of smoke. She pulled Harley away, back towards the window, while Harley tried to focus on just making sure she could see where the hell she was going. Her throat burned, and her eyes streamed. Selina pulled the window open, jumping out quickly and gracefully.

"Come on!" She yelled from the ground below. But as Harley made to escape, she felt strong hands on her neck, pulling her back inside.

"Harley!" Selina's voice was desperate.

"Go!" Harley choked. She wanted Selina to get away, she didn't want both of them to meet the same fate. Batman pulled, no, dragged her back. Robin ran for the window, leaping out into the night.

 _Run Selina! Get out of here!_

Harley fought against Batman, fought with all her might, but it was no good. He was too strong. Batman continued to drag her across the room. She was still fighting as they went down the stairs, and only began to give in when they were outside.

Selina and Robin were nowhere to be seen. Harley prayed she'd managed to get away. Batman shoved her unceremoniously into the Batmobile, before getting in the seat beside her. Soon they were away, and Harley closed her eyes, leaning back on the seat. She couldn't escape now: her hands were shackled, and she knew for a fact that the doors only opened if Batman opened them (she'd tried it before). She was a mouse caught in a trap.

"Going back to Arkham?" Harley asked defeatedly.

"Yes."

"You think they kept my room?"

"There will always be a cell for you there."

"Great," she replied sarcastically.

* * *

Something was flashing on the console in front of her. Batman pressed a button, and Harley could hear Robin's voice.

"Batman, she's gone."

"Hey Robbie," Harley drawled. "How's it going?"

Robin paused, before continuing to talk to Batman. "You're heading to Arkham?"

"Yes, I'll meet you at-"

"Hey Bats," Harley interrupted. "You think we could stop off for something to eat first? The food at the asylum sucks."

He ignored her, was he clenching his jaw?

 _He literally can't stand me._

Harley knew she should stop, but being ridiculous was the only thing keeping her from panicking, stopping her thinking about the situation she was in. All she could do was carry on.

"I'm not thinking anything fancy, maybe some chicken?"

Still no reply from Batman. Harley sighed, "Hey, Robin, don't you think the Bat oughta take me out for food before dumping me at Arkham? I mean, how well does he think he's gonna do on this date if he doesn't treat me right?"

Robin sounded like he might be smiling, though it was hard to tell over the phone. Still, his voice was relatively upbeat. "Yeah, you know what Quinn? I'm not sure that's gonna happen."

"Alright," Harley sighed. "Then I'm sorry, Bats, but I can't promise boob when you drop me off. Maybe a kiss on the cheek, but only if you tell me I look nice."

Batman ended the phone call before Harley could be sure, but it definitely sounded like Robin might've laughed. But now the joke was over, and it was all Harley could do not to cry. She tried to focus on the positive: Selina had got away. Despite what was happening to Harley right now, at least her friend was safe.

She glanced up at the window. There they were, the familiar iron gates to the place Harley hated most. It wasn't just that she'd been kept a prisoner there, that was only part of it. No, it was the fact that this was the place where she'd met Joker. Going back here would force back all kinds of memories that she wanted no part of. In fact, as they approached she began to panic: her heart racing, palms clammy, actually struggling to breathe.

"Stop," she choked. Batman looked at her, but didn't respond, looking back at the winding road up to the asylum.

"Please, please, I can't breathe."

"I'm not falling for that, Quinn."

"Please, Batman, please. I can't-" She gasped now, physically struggling for air. Batman regarded her once more, then slammed on the brakes. He got out of the car, pulling her firmly, but not roughly, from the seat, and sitting her on the ground. He looked at her, those same, gentle, Bruce Wayne eyes. They comforted her, if only a little.

"Quinn?" He still wasn't sure if she was being genuine, but Harley didn't care about that. Tears streamed down her face, and she fought for air. It felt like her throat had closed. Batman put one hand on each shoulder, and when he spoke, his voice was softer. Not like Bruce's, he was still trying to disguise who he was, but more gentle than Batman.

"Look at me, look at me. Stop. You're making it harder on yourself."

The words meant very little, and Harley continued to choke. Bruce continued. "Listen to my voice, this is your body, you're in control. Take a deep breath. You're safe."

 _Safe?! Safe?! Look where I am!_

But Bruce continued in a gentle tone. "This is only a panic attack, it will be over soon. You're safe, you're alive. You can handle this. Breathe. Deep breath, in…and out."

And somehow, it seemed to work. Harley felt her throat open, managed to get the air she so desperately needed. But the tears continued, smearing the extra white make up she'd coated her face in. "I'm scared," she admitted.

Bruce seemed shocked at this sudden change, almost unsure what to do. "Come on," he said. "We'll walk the rest of the way."

* * *

Harley walked beside Bruce with her hands still cuffed. Her legs weren't restrained, but it would be pointless trying to run away, he'd only catch her anyway.

"I'm sorry," she began. He didn't answer. She supposed he probably had no idea why she was apologizing: yes they'd had run-ins before, but he'd encountered hundreds of criminals, and it was unlikely any of them said sorry. But of course, that wasn't what she was apologising for. No she was apologising for what happened with Crane, for not being honest about who she was. For generally not being the woman he needed her to be.

 _Maybe in another life._

Processing was quick, as was always the case when accompanied by the Batman, and soon she was on her way down to maximum security again. For some reason, Bruce decided to go with her, and she realised this might be her only chance to come clean. If she didn't, he'd never know where she had gone. In some ways it might be better for Carly Crowe to simply disappear from his life, but it didn't feel right. She owed him at least her honesty now. So as Frank Bowles arrived to take her away, she reached out her hand to touch Bruce's face. He didn't recoil, just stood his ground.

"I'm sorry, Bruce," she whispered, too quiet for Bowles to hear.

His eyes widened at the mention of his name, then realisation flooded his face. She took off her hat, handing it to one of the other guards. "I don't need this anymore," she muttered, as her brown hair tumbled down around her shoulders. Bruce's mouth was open a little, and he looked like he wanted to speak, but of course he couldn't say anything. Harley gave him a watery smile, before being led away.

* * *

"Well, don't you look like shit."

Harley glanced over at the cell opposite, unable to stifle a smile. "Hello Ivy."

Poison Ivy smiled. She was still green, yet still beautiful. Her cell was different to Harley's: all the vents had been completely covered, and she had barely any furniture. There was a bed and a toilet, and nothing else. The bed was just a mattress and a pillow. Harley knew the lack of vents was to ensure there was no way she'd be able to sneak any of her plants in, and the lack of furniture was a punishment.

"How have you been?" Harley asked.

Ivy shrugged, "I'm sure you can imagine." Her eyes blazed a little, and Harley knew she was probably still mad about the fact that Harley had not only gotten in the way of her efforts to kill Joker, but she'd also taken out a few of Ivy's 'babies' on the way.

Harley sighed. "I'm sorry about what happened."

Ivy didn't reply, so Harley continued. "I feel bad about how we left it, but I want you to know, I didn't mean to hurt your plants. I just couldn't let you kill Joker."

"I understand," Ivy began evenly. "But that doesn't mean I won't kill you if we ever get out of here."

Harley shrugged. "I assumed as much. While we're in here, though, we can still chat, right?"

Ivy seemed to consider this, before replying: "I suppose so. I admit, I haven't had anyone to talk to for a while."

Harley smiled. "Great. So…what have I missed?"

* * *

 _It's been two weeks._

 _Two weeks back in Arkham._

 _I should be going crazy. Or crazier I suppose._

But the strange thing was: she wasn't. In fact, Harley felt relatively relaxed about the whole thing, and slowly, she was beginning to understand why that was. Over the past few months she had become an expert at pretending to be someone else. She had forgotten about Harley Quinn except during her nighttime excursions with Selina, and become timid little Carly Crowe. She dyed her hair and tanned her skin from a bottle, and pretended to be like a normal person. She had drama over which guy she wanted to be with, and heartbreak over the one she had lost.

But here was different. Here she was crazy ol' Harley Quinn. She didn't have to be quiet and meek, because everyone knew she was dangerous and said exactly what was on her mind. She could swear and make vulgar jokes and nobody cared. Her hair colour had washed out, and the fake tan had gone. She looked like herself. There was no drama about men because none of the men in her life were here. Sure, this place was a dump, but at least she was feeling more like the Harley Quinn she had grown to love.

"Quinn?"

Harley looked up, Frank Bowles, the most incompetent, corrupt guard in Arkham was standing by her door. Harley was on her back on her bed, cycling her legs in the air. It wasn't like she had many opportunities for exercise in this place, and it was at least something to pass the time.

"Yes sweetie?" She asked, not pausing her routine.

"You've been assigned a therapist."

"Lucky me," Harley replied sarcastically. Then a thought occurred to her: the last time she'd been given a therapist in Arkham, it was her old friend, Sarah.

"Is it Doctor Cassidy?" Harley asked, getting to her feet and hurrying to the door. Bowles shook his head.

"Nah, she left. Went to Australia or something."

Harley sighed, nodding. That made sense: Sarah had family over there, and after she got attacked by one crazy patient, and her best friend ran off with another, it wasn't like she had many reasons to stick around. Still, Harley had, however briefly, thought she might be reunited with her old friend.

"What about Cash?" She asked, thinking of her only other ally from when she worked at Arkham.

Bowles looked a little irritated. "It's not my job to tell you about where all the staff are, Quinn."

Harley put on her softest voice. "But Frankie, it's me. And you like me." She flashed him her most charming smile, and saw him soften a little. Men like him were so easy to manipulate. Plus, he probably thought she was still with Joker, and he knew first hand how dangerous Joker was.

"He's been transferred, not at Arkham anymore. Now, therapy?"

Harley nodded. "Thanks Frank."

She allowed him to attach the wrist restraints, following him to the treatment room. She was locked into the chair, and left alone to wait for her psychiatrist. It was a different room to the one she used with Joker, thank God. She wasn't sure she was ready for memories like that yet, not when she had to walk past his old cell every time she left max (which wasn't often). His cell was still empty, in fact, the whole of maximum security was relatively empty. She supposed it made sense: there had been a mass breakout less than a year ago, and it was probably taking a while to round everyone back up again. Penguin was here though, and every time she walked past his cell to go to the showers she blew him a little kiss. It made her smile to remember how much he hated her.

Harley heard the door open behind her as her new psychiatrist came into the room.

"You know," Harley began. "It's rude to keep a girl waiting."

"My apologies, of course."

Harley felt a grin spread across her lips, as Jonathan Crane sat down at the table opposite. She cocked her head to the side, but said nothing, aware that one of the guards was still in the room. Crane looked over to him: "Thank you, you can leave us now."

The sound of the door closing, then silence.

"Hi honey," he began, the word sounding completely strange when coming from his mouth. Harley couldn't help but giggle. Crane grinned. "I have to say, I was starting to wonder if you were cheating on me."

"Me?" Harley asked, voice all mock innocence. "Of course not."

Crane smiled again, arranging the papers on the desk. She could see every one of them was blank.

"How's Batman?" He asked lazily, eyes still on the papers he was shuffling. "Heartbroken, I take it?"

"I don't know," Harley admitted. "It's not like we could really talk about it when he dropped me off."

"You're still not going to tell me who he is?"

Harley shook her head. "You're still not going to tell me why Joker was calling you?"

Crane shook his own, realising he was beat.

"Don't look so moody, it doesn't suit you." She looked around. "How did you manage to get in here?"

Crane rolled his eyes, "The security in this place truly is a joke. All I did was change my name, never mind that I was a patient here for almost six months, as long as my name is different it's nothing suspicious to them."

"Maybe you just have a forgettable face?" Harley suggested.

Crane grinned again, "Maybe. Maybe I'm just forgettable."

Harley smiled, "I wouldn't go that far."

"Good."

Crane leaned forwards, planting a kiss on her lips.

"Did you miss me?" She asked innocently.

"Of course."

"How much?"

Crane's smile widened, and he glanced at the door. Then got to his feet, moving around and unlocking her restraints. How he got the keys, she had no idea, but she wasn't complaining. She sat on the table, wrapping her legs around his waist as he kissed her passionately.

"I'm pretty sure this is against the rules, Doctor," Harley breathed as he ran a trail of kisses down her neck.

"Then this definitely is," he conceded, sliding a hand under her shirt. Harley gasped. It wasn't just what he was doing, it was the pure act of being touched. After two weeks in isolation, having hands on her skin felt so welcome. But, all too soon, she had to stop him, putting her hands on his chest and gently pushing him away. Crane looked confused. "What's wrong?"

"We can't," Harley began. "If they come in-"

"Who cares?" He sounded so carefree, it was unlike him.

" _I_ care," Harley insisted, her hands still on his chest. "If they put you in here too, then we won't be able to spend this time together every week. And I might go insane. More insane," she corrected.

Crane sighed, but did as she asked, moving back. "Very well." He secured her restraints once more, and took his space in the seat opposite. He put his glasses on, surveying her with a studious expression.

"So, what would you like to talk about?"

* * *

 _Selina looked around the huge room and wrinkled her nose. This was not her kind of establishment. Yes, she liked to go to places that were 'gritty', and yes, she hated anything elitist, where the richest people congregated to congratulate each other on fucking over the little people, but perhaps this was too far in the other direction. All around her were criminals, half naked women, and men who looked like they'd give their last dime just for someone to tell them their daddies loved them._

 _But that didn't matter. She was here for a reason, so she needed to just do it._

" _Hello baby, buy you a drink?" A lecherous man with bad breath and hands that threatened to roam, was stumbling towards her. Selina side stepped him, her tone sarcastic._

" _I'd rather lick a trash can."_

" _Bitch."_

" _Bite me." Selina rolled her eyes, heading away from the bar and deeper into the club._

 _She could see him, over near the back. He was sitting in the booth Harley had described so often. He scared her, she wasn't ashamed to admit that, but that was irrelevant. She had to do this, she owed Harley that much. Selina straightened her outfit, the short skin-tight black dress, and headed over to the clown._

 _Two men stepped in front of her as she approached the booth. There was another one standing by Joker, who would've been the 'Jonny' that Harley had mentioned. She had no idea who these other guys were, but they were sure keen to keep her from their boss. Luckily, however, he spoke._

" _Let her through."_

 _Just like that they stepped aside, allowing Selina closer. Joker watched her with those cold, grey eyes, and a chill went down her spine. He didn't seem curious, like he knew exactly why she was there._

" _You know who I am?" She asked, her voice wobbling a little._

" _Sit down, Miss Kyle."_

 _Selina took a seat on the couch, keeping as much distance as possible between herself and the clown. She had no idea how Harley managed to spend any length of time with this guy, let alone engage in a relationship: he gave her the creeps. But then, so did Crane. Maybe Harley could see something in them that other people missed? Or she just had terrible taste. The jury was still out._

" _Do you know why I'm here?" She asked, her voice a little stronger this time._

" _No, but I bet you're just itching to tell me."_

" _Harley's at Arkham."_

 _If that was a shock to the Joker, he hid it well, his face remaining an impassive mask. His eyes, however, did look a little different, like he was piecing something together in his head. He faced forwards, not making eye contact._

" _How long?" He asked, his tone even._

" _Two weeks. I couldn't decide whether to come to you."_

" _Why did you?" He finally turned to look at her again._

" _I thought you'd want to know."_

" _Why?"_

 _Selina narrowed her gaze. "Because of your history. Because of who she is to you-"_

" _She's nothing to me, not any more."_

 _Selina smirked. "I hope you were more convincing when you told her that. I'm not buying it."_

" _What do you want, Miss Kyle?"_

 _Selina raised her head a little higher. "I want you to break her out."_

" _Ha!" Joker's laugh was one long blast, over just as quickly as it started. Selina kept her eyes fixed on him, staring him out. Though he laughed, he wasn't smiling. "Even if I wanted to – which I don't – how do you think I'd do that?"_

" _You're resourceful. Think of something."_

 _He kept her gaze, and for a moment the two of them simply stared each other down, neither willing to break first. Finally Selina spoke, getting to her feet._

" _I've said what I came to say. If you still have any feelings in that empty box where your heart is supposed to be, get her out of that place."_

" _Maybe she's where she's supposed to be. After all, that's where they lock up the crazies, right?" He was poking her now, trying to get a rise, but she wouldn't be played so easily._

" _You know, I pity you," Selina said, looking down at him. "Harley is so much better off with Crane." She held her hand dramatically to her mouth, mock shock on her face. "Oops, did I say too much?" She turned, giving him one last look, as though he were nothing more than a bug on her windshield, before leaving._

* * *

 _Joker watched Selina Kyle storm out in her ridiculous heels. She'd be attractive if she wasn't so cold. Maybe. She wasn't exactly his type._

 _Joker growled, looking up at Jonny. His man watched him, waiting for orders, but Joker continued to think. He put his head in his hands, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. His head was spinning, voices yelling from all directions._

" _Gah!" He groaned, before getting to his feet. "Do it," he muttered to Jonny, as he stormed from the room._


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys, once again thank you all so much for your lovely feedback on the last chapter! Things are getting a bit busy with me at work over the next couple of weeks, so I'll try to post as often as possible, but it might be a bit erratic!**

 **Just a little info on this chapter, those of you who know my stories know I like to mess with the timeline a little, but I try to ensure everything is still realistic enough, so hopefully this all works. Also one of the references at the end of my chapter relates heavily to the previous story, and the 'Arkham Asylum' game, so if you haven't read the story or played the game, you will kind of just have to go with the flow. I'm hoping I've made it easy enough to follow for new readers, and if you've played the games or read the comics, it won't feel too 'out there'! :)**

 **Anyway, hope you like this chapter. You know what they say, things have to get worse before they can get better, and Harley's experiencing that first hand! ;)**

* * *

Harley awoke to a figure above her bed. It was a guard, wearing full riot gear. She couldn't see his face, but she knew it was a man from his build.

"What's happening?" She asked, still half asleep. The guard didn't answer, simply reaching down and grabbing her by the arm, pulling her to her feet. "Hey!" She argued, but he clamped a hand to her mouth. She was pulled from her cell still in her asylum-issued pajamas, and led down the hall.

"Harley?" Ivy called sleepily, getting to her feet. Her eyes widened. "What's going on? Where are you taking her?!"

The guard didn't answer, though Ivy continued to call after the pair of them, her voice a mixture of fear and anger. By the entrance to max Harley could see Bowles. He watched her with a serious expression.

"Frank?" She called, shaking her face to dislodge the guard's hand from her lips as they approached. "What's happening?"

"Shut up!" He hissed, and from his tone she knew this was serious. He opened the door to max, looking around nervously. Where was she going? Electroshock therapy? Isolation? No, they were going the wrong way for that, and it wouldn't explain why Frank looked so worried. Was she being taken to a different asylum? She didn't want that: she may have hated Arkham, but she knew it, knew the guards, knew the layout. She wouldn't be so lucky anywhere else. And what about Crane? If she went somewhere new, how would he find her?

Harley was half led, half dragged from max security, and minutes later she and the guard were outside. She could see the sun beginning to rise in the distance, before being shoved into the back of an unmarked van. The doors slammed shut, and she was in darkness.

* * *

The bright light blinded Harley as the doors opened, and she lifted her hand to shield her eyes. The guard, still masked, pulled her roughly from the car, and dumped her unceremoniously onto the street. Then he slammed the back doors of the van, walked around to the drivers door, got in, and drove away.

She was left on the pavement, still in her pajamas, trying to work out what the hell had happened.

 _I'm outside. He freed me. Whoever that was, he broke me out of Arkham!_

But why? Harley looked up, realising she knew exactly where she was: outside her own apartment building! She got to her feet, running for the door. She buzzed the bell, and moments later Selina's half-awake voice crackled over the intercom.

"What?"

"It's me."

"Harley?!" The door buzzed as the electronic lock disengaged, and Harley hurried inside.

"How? How?" Selina looked completely in shock, but threw her arms around her friend when they were reunited in the hallway. "I can't believe-"

"I know."

"What happened?"

Harley shook her head, no idea where to start.

* * *

Harley sipped her cocktail slowly, savoring the taste, not just of the drink, but of freedom. She was out with Selina, at the Iceberg Lounge. This was Penguin's place, or it used to be, but he was locked up in Arkham, so Harley felt safe enough coming here, especially now she was back to her old look. She grinned at the thought of what the fat little man would think if he saw her there.

"This is good," Selina said, looking over at Harley.

"What is?"

"You're smiling."

Harley shrugged, smile still on her lips. "I'm happy."

"Is Crane meeting you here?"

Harley shook her head. "No, it's girls night, remember?"

Selina smiled. "Does he know you're out?"

"I called him this morning."

"Was he surprised?"

Harley laughed, "Nothing surprises Crane, but he seemed happy enough. I'm going over tomorrow."

"So I've got you for the whole night?" Selina asked, eyes widening. "That's something new!"

Harley smiled, "I know. I'm sorry my life's been so…"

"Crazy?"

"Yes, crazy. I promise, I'll try to reign it in."

Selina smiled, leaning back and looking around the club. Suddenly her expression hardened, and a flicker of something crossed her face.

"What is it?" Harley asked, leaning forward to try and get a look at what Selina had seen. Then she realised she didn't need to hear the answer: she could see exactly what had caught her friend's eye.

Joker was here.

He was walking through the doors, accompanied by Jonny and two other men Harley vaguely recognized as his guys from Blackgate. He wasn't looking at her, but that didn't mean he hadn't seen her. She put her glass on the table, worried she might break it with the force she had been gripping it with.

"What's he doing here?" Selina muttered.

"Have you seen this place?" Harley countered. "It's full of villains, no real surprise that he's here too."

"Do you want to leave?"

Harley shook her head.

"Do you want to talk to him?"

"No!"

Selina held up her hands, "Ok, sorry, just thought I'd ask."

"I hate him."

"I know. But you love him too, that's the problem."

Harley didn't deny it, as much as she hated to admit that Selina was right. She sighed, downing her drink, and wondering if she'd ever be able to just have a normal evening.

Of course not, because here was Bruce Wayne, stepping through the doors of the club with a stride that suggested he owned the place. There was another man next to him, but Harley didn't recognise him. It didn't take a genius to guess who he might be though.

"Oh for fuckssake," Harley groaned, leaning back in her chair.

Selina followed her gaze, eyes widening. "We should leave."

"Why? He doesn't know who you are."

"No, but he knows who you are, and you know where he'll take you."

Harley rolled her eyes. "I'm not in the mood to run. He's not in his bat suit, I think I could take him." Selina didn't look convinced, but stayed seated all the same. Bruce had spotted the two of them, muttered something to his friend, who moved towards the bar, and headed over. He stopped in front of their table.

"Ladies," he began gently.

"Hi Bruce," Harley began, cocking her head to one side. "A little underdressed aren't we?"

Bruce looked down at the expensive suit he was wearing. Harley shook her head, speaking in a mock-whisper. "No, I just mean every time you meet Harley Quinn you're wearing something a little…battier. Seems a little silly to come to the party without any of your toys."

Bruce didn't break her gaze, and the other guy came over, holding a drink. Bruce looked at Selina, "Do you mind if I speak to your friend in private, just for a moment?"

Selina turned to Harley, who nodded. "Fine," Selina sighed.

"Jason will keep you company," Bruce added, nodding to the other guy.

"Lucky me," Selina whispered sarcastically, before heading to the bar, Bruce's young friend not far behind. Bruce slid into Selina's empty seat.

"Good to see you again."

"Is it?"

He sighed. "I don't know."

"If you're here to take me back-"

"I'm not."

This surprised Harley, if he wasn't here to bring her back to Arkham, what the hell did he want? He answered her unasked question. "I don't know why I'm here. I just knew you were, and wanted to see you. The real you."

"Well here I am."

Bruce glanced over to the other side of the lounge, where Harley assumed Joker was sitting. She hadn't allowed herself to look since he entered the place. "Why aren't you with him?"

Harley didn't answer at first, not sure how much she wanted to tell him. Then she decided she may as well be honest, it would be a change of pace at least.

"We're not together anymore."

"Really?" He didn't believe her. Why should he?

"I told you about my break-up. Not everything I told you about myself was a lie."

"Just most of it."

Harley felt a smile creep across her lips. "Just most of it."

"Why did you do it? Why did you come and work for me?"

 _May as well keep up the honesty, what's he gonna do? Take me to Arkham? Oh right, he already did that._

"Joker wanted to rob you. He needed someone on the inside, so I pretended to be someone else and got the job. Then he dumped me and I had nothing else to do, so I decided to keep working for you." She took a breath, steeling herself for the next part. "I _did_ care for you, Bruce. But I could never be what you wanted me to be."

"I didn't want you to be anything other than yourself."

Harley raised an eyebrow. "Uhuh? It was when I was being myself that you roughed me up and brought me to Arkham, lest we forget."

Bruce bowed his head a little. Did he feel bad? He didn't need to, Harley knew he was just doing what he felt was right. She may have hated the Bat, but she cared for Bruce.

"How did you get out?" He asked.

"I don't know," Harley admitted. "Someone broke me out."

Bruce nodded in Joker's direction. "Him?"

Harley snorted. "I doubt that very much. He hates me more than you do."

"I don't hate you," Bruce insisted. "I just wish you'd been honest with me."

"I couldn't risk you knowing about me. I liked that you liked me. I didn't want to go back to Arkham, I didn't want to be alone. But I'm sorry, I didn't want to hurt you."

Bruce nodded, then paused before asking: "You're with Crane now?"

"It's complicated."

He smiled a little. "Everything about you is."

Harley mirrored his smile, albeit a little weakly. "Isn't that the truth?"

"What did you feel for me?"

His question came as such a surprise that Harley didn't even know how to respond. But she couldn't deny him an answer, after all, it was the same question she had asked Joker and Crane only a couple of weeks ago. She owed him the same honesty they had given her.

"I cared for you," she admitted. "But…"

"It's complicated?"

She smiled again, "Yes. I love Joker, even now. Even though I hate him. Even though I want to kill him. When he kicked me out, I felt like part of me, most of me, had died. I _so_ wanted to feel like a person again, like I mattered. You're a great guy, and I know that in another life we'd be perfect for each other. I tried to be different, to make us fit. But we just couldn't."

Bruce looked like he was processing it. "And Crane?"

Harley thought for a moment. "Crane and I have been through a lot. He always meant something to me, but he wasn't Joker. Even now, he knows that as much as I care for him, and I do care for him, I don't love him." She paused, a realization hitting her. "I don't think I'll ever love anyone again." Her eyes flicked to Joker, who was pointedly not looking at her from his seat across the room. "He took that part of me, cut it out like a tumor."

"What is it about him? Why is he so special?"

Harley shrugged, eyes still on Joker. "We just…fit." She paused for a moment, thinking. "I saw beauty in his darkness."

"And he saw darkness in your beauty."

Harley finally looked back at Bruce. "I guess so. I'm sorry, I never meant for any of this to happen."

"I know."

Harley took a breath. "So what happens now?"

"I don't know."

"Are you going to take me back to Arkham?"

"I don't know."

"Are you going to leave?"

"I don't know."

Harley smiled. "Are you going to stay and dance with us?"

Bruce grinned. "Maybe."

* * *

 _This is so surreal. I'm dancing with Batman, and some guy who I'm pretty sure is Robin, in Penguin's club, while Joker watches._

 _Why is my life like this?_

Harley had to admit, though, she was feeling pretty good. There she was, on the icy blue dance floor, looking flawless (thanks to Selina's make-up skills), doing the one thing she loved more than anything: dancing. Bruce and Jason were good dancers, though Jason was perhaps a little too hands-on. But she could forgive that. A couple of times she had chanced looks in Joker's direction, and each time he was watching her. Intently. She had no idea what the hell that meant, but it meant _something_.

And she felt good about Bruce. She had come clean, told him the truth on all counts. Her life still may have been a mess, but she was finally free of all the lies. Bruce knew who she was, Crane knew she didn't love him (but that she cared for him), and she knew she still loved Joker. Even though she hated him too.

 _Ok, not exactly simple, but at least I'm finally being honest_.

Bruce and Selina were deep in conversation, despite the loud music and the fact that they too were dancing. Harley grinned, Selina may have been a little fond of Bruce Wayne, her body language certainly suggested it. Harley didn't mind, she had Crane, and her still overpowering love for Joker, she could let Selina have Bruce if she wanted him. He was a good guy, and she needed that.

 _Should I tell him she's Catwoman?_

 _Maybe not._

Jason had his hands on her hips now, and Harley guessed he was perhaps more than a little drunk. Bruce and Selina headed to the bar, so she and Jason were alone. Harley continued to dance, allowing the music to flow through her. She was having a good time, but Jason may have been having a better one, as his hands began to roam a little. Harley playfully batted him off, and continued to dance.

But Jason was undeterred, hands roaming again. Harley gave him a stern look.

"Careful," she warned. "I bite."

"I'll bet."

They continued to dance, and Jason kept his hands to himself. For a while. But then they were back to their old tricks, roaming down her back and to her behind. Harley stepped back. "That's enough now, Boy Wonder. Don't push your luck." She turned, ignoring his apologies, heading towards the bar. On her way she glanced in the direction of where Joker had been sitting, but he was gone.

* * *

The next morning, Harley found herself on the steps of Wayne Manor. She'd decided to do this properly, and came to return her work laptop, phone, and anything else of Bruce's that she'd acquired during her time working for him. Though she had left early last night, she and Bruce had ended things amicably, so this felt like the right thing to do. She rang the bell, and soon Alfred appeared. He didn't look shocked at her blonde hair or facial tattoo (what was the point in hiding it now?). She had dressed a little more 'Carly' than 'Harley' however, she didn't want to give the old man a heart attack.

"Miss…Quinn."

"Hi Alfred."

"By the lack of baseball bat, should I assume you're not here to cause any trouble?"

"I'm just returning these," she replied, gesturing to the bag. "I can leave them here if you want? Though I'd like to give them back to Bruce and say goodbye properly, if possible?"

Alfred considered this for a moment, before stepping aside. "You know where to find him."

Harley nodded, heading towards the Batcave. She rode the rickety elevator down, and was soon in the cold, underground space.

"Bruce?" She called out. No reply. Harley headed further in. She'd left the club in a hurry last night, a little overwhelmed by the evening's events. She didn't say goodbye to Bruce, so she hoped she could kill two birds with one stone today. She was aware it was risky, but he genuinely hadn't seemed like he wanted to hurt her last night, so she was willing to take a chance.

She could see him now, sitting on the platform over the water, looking at the screens in front of him. He was in his Batman attire, but didn't have the mask on.

"Bruce?" Harley began, stepping on the bridge and making her way closer. He had to have heard her that time, but still didn't respond.

"What's going on?" She asked, putting the bag down behind him and stepping to stand beside the chair.

Bruce finally looked at her. His eyes were red. Had he been crying? He nodded to something at the other side of the room. Harley looked at him once more, before walking in the direction he had looked. His voice followed her. "After you left, I got word about some explosions downtown. Jason and I went to investigate. We were able to stop here first and get our gear."

Harley was getting closer now, she could see it was a large glass case. There was a suit inside. A spare Bat suit?

"We found Joker. He had set a trap. His guys distracted me, forced Jason and I to split up. I was busy with them, but Jason…he had Joker."

Harley could see it now. Her eyes widened as she approached the case. Inside was Robin's suit. Sprayed across the front, in garish yellow writing, were the words: 'HAHAH The Joke's on you Batman!'

Harley clapped her hand to her mouth.

"Your boyfriend did this."

Bruce's voice came from behind her, and when she spun around he grabbed her by the shoulders. "Why did you come here?!" He yelled.

Harley shook her head. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry Bruce."

"Did you know?!"

She shook her head more vigorously. "No! No I swear!"

"Do you think your word means anything to me?"

"I didn't know!" Harley insisted, and Bruce released her. He was breathing heavily, staring her down. She broke first, looking away.

"I thought maybe I could forget about who you were," Bruce began, his voice little more than a whisper. "If we couldn't be together, maybe we could at least be friends." He shook his head now. "But that can't happen. Not when you still love that…thing."

"I didn't-"

"He's insane! He'll kill you! Or he'll watch someone else do it! He doesn't care about anyone but himself and his games! The best thing you can do, Harley Quinn, is run. Because he's got plans for you, and when I kill him, if you're there by his side, then I'll have to kill you too."

Harley stepped back, eyes wide.

"Go," Bruce breathed, stepping aside. And she did. She ran as fast as she could, running from Bruce, running from the house, she didn't stop until she reached the car, and then she drove away as fast as she could.

* * *

Harley stormed into Joker's club, her mind racing, still furious, still terrified.

 _Why did he do it?_

 _Because he's crazy. We know that._

Joker wasn't at his booth. It didn't matter. Harley marched right over to the door that led to the back and headed up the stairs. Outside the apartment she found Jonny. He looked at her, eyes wide.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, eyes flicking to the closed door of Joker's apartment.

"I need to see him."

"Sweetheart, you know he won't-"

Harley stood her ground, narrowing her gaze. "Jonny, you step aside right now. I'm going in there, and I'd rather not have to beat the crap out of you first."

Jonny sighed, moving aside to let her in. Harley felt her body relax: the last thing she wanted was to fight Jonny, but she would've done it if she'd had to. She reached for the handle and flung the door open. Joker wasn't in the living room, but Harley had to stop and take in her surroundings. The place was a wreck. The glass coffee table was smashed to bits, the couch looked like it had been repeatedly stabbed then flung against the wall, and there was broken glass and smashed furniture everywhere.

But no Joker. Harley knew he was in here, Jonny wouldn't have been outside otherwise, so she continued on, towards the bedroom. She opened the door, and there he was, lying on the bed. He was awake, and turned his head lazily when she entered. Before he could react Harley grabbed the nearest object: a book, and flung it at him. Joker held up his hands to shield his face just in time.

"Why did you do it?!" Harley yelled, picking up another book and throwing it. But Joker caught it, and was on his feet in seconds, closing in on her. That didn't matter, she wasn't scared, she was angry.

"Tell me!" She screeched, pushing against his chest.

"Tell you what?!" He yelled in response. Harley had rarely seen him so much as raise his voice, and it didn't feel right. Suddenly she felt herself getting a little less brave. But she had to know, so she stood up straighter and continued.

"Why did you kill Robin?"

Joker stepped back, holding out his hands, not yelling now. "Why wouldn't I?"

"You had so many chances to kill Batman, but you didn't. You liked having him around too much. Why did you kill his friend?"

"Just because I haven't killed the Bat…yet, doesn't mean I don't want to torture him a little. Besides," he stepped closer. "He was getting far too close to you."

Harley's mind began to race. "You knew who he was?"

"Yes. And I know who his friend is too. Interesting that our plan to rob Bruce Wayne ends up with you screwing the Batman. Isn't that funny?" He didn't look like he thought it was funny.

"I wasn't _screwing_ him, not that it's any of your business."

"No? I suppose the Bat and the Scarecrow might be a little much."

"Why do you care?!" Harley yelled, her anger returning. "Why do you care who I fuck?! It's not like we're still together! Who I spend my time with is none of your business!"

"Everything you do is my business."

Harley clenched her jaw, fuming. Why did Joker think he could dump her yet still control her? "Then why not Crane?" She asked, playing with fire. "Why haven't you killed him yet?"

"Maybe he's next."

"Then he can't help you anymore."

Joker stepped back a little at her words. "What do you know?"

"Oh don't worry," Harley replied, her tone rich with sarcasm. "He's told me nothing about your little arrangement. Is that the only reason he's alive? Because he's useful to you?"

"Don't talk about things you don't understand."

"The only thing I don't understand," Harley growled. "Is how I let myself get manipulated into loving you. I don't understand why I gave up everything in my life for you, and I don't understand why that still wasn't enough." She stepped a little closer. "I don't understand why you are so afraid of loving me."

"I'm not-"

She jabbed a finger to his chest angrily. "Don't lie to me. You promised you'd never do that. Though I suppose you've got no reason to keep that any more."

Joker was silent for the longest time. He looked…defeated? When he finally spoke, his voice was soft, almost gentle. "What do you want, Harley?"

"I want you to leave me alone. I want you to forget about me. I want you to stop whatever you're doing with Crane and just let me be happy." Harley didn't wait for his response, turning and leaving the bedroom. She made her way through the apartment, broken glass crunching under her heels, and away from the clown.

* * *

"You're late." Crane stepped aside to let Harley into his apartment.

"Shut up," Harley muttered, putting her arms around his neck and breathing in his familiar scent.

"You went to see him?" Crane asked. He could smell the club on her, he always knew. Harley nodded.

"Why?"

She sighed. "He killed Robin. Batman was so mad, he told me I was crazy, that I needed to stay away from Joker. So what's the first thing I did? Go to find Joker. I'm such a mess."

"We knew that already," Crane replied gently, kissing the top of her head.

"I just want him gone. I want to forget about him." She looked up into Crane's face. "I told him to leave you alone."

Crane grimaced a little. "That probably wasn't wise."

"Why won't you tell me what he wants with you?"

Crane sighed. "It doesn't matter. I won't do it anymore."

"Really?"

He nodded. "I'll stop. No more Joker, for either of us."

"He'll try to kill you."

"He might, but he won't succeed."

Harley put her head back against his chest, not sure if she felt better, or a whole lot worse.

* * *

Two weeks passed, and Crane seemed true to his word. There were no more phone calls: whatever business he had with Joker seemed to be over. Harley continued to steal with Selina, and Crane did whatever it was he did during the days, and life was starting to look a little more positive.

She still didn't love Crane. But maybe that would happen with time? Either way, things were looking up.

That was, until Jonny arrived. Harley was home alone, watching daytime tv and wondering whether or not she should attempt to 'shabby chic' her dressing table, when there was a knock on the door. She got up and shuffled over, still in her pajamas.

"Hey," Jonny said when she opened the door.

"Jonny?"

"Can I come in?"

Harley simply nodded, stepping aside to let him into the apartment.

"What's happened?" She found herself asking without even meaning to. "Is it Joker? Is he ok?" She hated the fact that she cared.

Jonny sighed. "That's the complicated part."

Harley gestured to the couch, where Jonny headed over and sat down. She sat on the armchair, tucking her feet up underneath her.

"What is it?"

Jonny looked nervous. "He'll kill me if he finds out I came here."

"He won't find out."

"We both know he always finds out." He sighed again, ringing his hands. "Ok, the boss got injected with Titan."

"Titan?" Harley's mind was racing. "Doctor Young's formula? The one that makes people burst open?"

Jonny nodded. "Yeah, but it doesn't do that anymore. Joker found out there was still some of the original formula down at Arkham, and had another doctor down there working on it. The guy said he'd perfected it, that it would make people stronger. Joker didn't want to use it for himself, he wanted it for his boys, but the doctor had some grudge against Joker, and he tampered with the formula. Boss let his guard down, and the doc injected him. We killed the guy, but not before he told us what he'd done."

"What?"

"The formula causes mutations, like it did in Ivy's plants. The doctor said it'd mutate Joker, make him some kind of monster, make him crazy. I mean, real crazy. Said he'd kill everyone and then probably end up tearing his own skin off." He looked at Harley, as realization dawned on her. "That's why he made you leave. He was terrified he'd hurt you, he wanted you to get away before he became dangerous."

Harley shook her head. "This doesn't make sense, it's been six months and he's still fine!"

"He got real bad after a couple of weeks. You should've seen him: his skin was peeling, his eyes went white, he was literally falling to bits. He would scream all night, and he started seeing things: shot up half the apartment trying to kill monsters that weren't there. Strangled two of his guys because he thought they were trying to kill him, when they were literally just sitting on the couch! That's when I had the idea to find Crane. He's been giving him a prototype antidote, it put him back to normal. Well, as normal as the boss ever is. But…he missed his last two appointments." Jonny sighed. "I told the boss I'd go and get him, but he said no. Said that he was done with Crane."

"Why?"

Jonny gave her a look which said: 'You know why.'

"I told him…" Harley breathed. "I told him to leave Crane alone. And then Crane decided to stop going to Joker because it was making me upset. I caused this."

"I know you hate him," Jonny began. "I know he treated you like shit, and he's done some fucked up things. But I also know he loves you."

Harley shook her head, but Jonny continued. "Who do you think broke you out of Arkham? He didn't even get me to do it, he went there himself."

"Joker was the one who got me out? The one dressed as a guard?"

Jonny nodded. "He made you leave because he was scared he'd hurt you. It took months for Crane's formula to put him back to how he used to be, and it's still not perfect. He needs more, but he's willing to die for you, just to make you happy."

"I'm still so mad at him."

"I know."

Harley sighed, getting to her feet. "Give me five minutes."

* * *

Jonny took her to Crane's, where he waited outside in the car while Harley ran inside. Crane opened the door, looking surprised to see her.

"I thought we weren't meeting until-"

"Joker's dying?"

Crane's expression flickered, but he gave no indication that he was surprised that she knew.

"Yes."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Does it matter?"

"It matters to me."

Crane ran the fingers of his left hand through his hair. "A multitude of reasons."

"What reasons?!"

It seemed to take an eternity for him to answer. "I didn't tell you at first because I didn't even know where you were, I was treating him long before you found me in the Batcave. When Joker found out about…that we were close, he told me he'd kill me if I said anything."

Harley shook her head. "You're lying, you're not scared of Joker. Tell me why you kept it from me!"

"Because I didn't want you to know," Crane sighed.

"Why?"

"Because I knew you'd go back to him."

"You told me you knew what this was between us. You knew I didn't feel the same for you as I did for him-"

"That doesn't mean I don't want you to!" Crane broke his usual composure by yelling, and it scared her a little. Crane sighed, running his fingers through his hair again. "I don't know what you want me to say."

Harley picked up Crane's coat, tossing it to him. "I don't want you to say anything, I just want you to come with me."

* * *

Joker's eyes widened when Jonny bought Crane and Harley inside his apartment. He was sitting on his ruined couch when the three of them stepped inside. "Jonny boy, what the hell is this?" He asked, getting up.

"Sorry boss," Jonny mumbled.

"Shut up, Jonny," Harley sighed, half dragging Crane into the room. She pushed him down onto the couch, then glared at Joker. Surprisingly, he sat down too. Both men looked at her nervously.

"I want you to know, I'm furious with you both."

"I don't know wha-"

"I don't need to-"

"Oh just shut up, both of you," Harley growled. "You two act like you hate each other, but you know what, you're the same! You're a pair of liars!"

"I never-"

"I don't-"

Harley interrupted them again. "You both lied to me! You-" she eyed Crane. "You knew about Joker, about why he pushed me away, and you said nothing. You could've told me, maybe he wouldn't have taken me back but I would've at least known it wasn't my fault. Do you know how long I spent hating myself: so sure I did something to destroy my own relationship?"

Crane looked at the floor. She looked at Joker now. "And you, you thought it was better to throw me out on the street – to break my heart into a thousand pieces, rather than tell me the truth. Don't you think I would've helped you? Don't you think I would've crawled across barbed wire for you?"

Both men said nothing. The room was silent for the longest time. Finally Harley spoke again. "Crane, you're going to treat Joker. Not only that, you're going to find a way to cure him. Joker, you're going to let him do this, and then you're going to let him leave without killing him."

Harley turned, heading for the door.

"Where are you going?" Crane asked.

Harley didn't turn around. "I'm going to get as far away from the both of you as I can." She shook her head, looking at both of them with disdain. "Stay away from me."


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi guys, thanks for your lovely comments on the last chapter. Things are crazy with work at the moment, but I really tried to make sure this chapter was good enough, and I hope I managed it! For those of you who don't know, I like to take parts of my story from different versions of the source material (films, comics, games), and this chapter takes a little turn where I change the timeline a little. I've worked hard, though, to ensure it feels like it 'fits', in this chapter and the next couple that I'm currently working on. Just try not to get too caught up in the timeline of the other Batman movies!**

* * *

"Harleen, it's Jonathan. Call me when you get this message."

"Harley? It's Joker. Call me."

"Harleen? Are you home? I'm sorry about what happened, just call me. Please."

"Harley, pick up the phone."

"Harleen, it's Jonathan. Again. Look, I'm getting a little tired to talking to your answerphone. Please, just call me."

"Harley, you're trying my patience. Pick up the damn phone."

Harley groaned, deleting the message.

"You're going to have to talk to them at some point," Selina called from the other side of the room, eyes glancing at her from over the top of the glossy magazine she was reading.

"Wanna bet?" Harley asked, dropping down onto the couch beside her. She ripped open the bar of chocolate she was holding, her forth one of the morning, and bit into it with a sigh.

Selina put down the magazine, eyes narrowing. "Oh really? That's it? You're done with both of them?"

"They lied to me!" Harley answered through her mouthful of chocolate.

Selina rolled her eyes. "Who cares? I lie all the time, you still like me."

"You know it's different."

"It's not different at all. You're just pretending to take the moral high ground because you realise that you have absolutely no idea which one you want."

"That's not-"

"No, you're right. You do know which one you want: the one you always wanted, yet you kind of like the other one too, and it's making you feel guilty as hell."

Harley scowled. "You think you're so clever."

"I am."

Harley wanted to think of a witty come back. She wanted to, but she couldn't, so she did the only other thing she could think of. She stuck out her tongue. Selina grinned wickedly, knowing she had won. Harley groaned, and put her head into her hands. "Yes, yes, ok, fine, you're right. You're always right. What the fuck am I going to do?"

Selina shrugged. "Have a threesome?"

Harley rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure they'd both be super in to that."

"You never know."

Harley sighed. "It's not just that. I mean, of the two of them, it's always been Joker. I cared for Crane, but I never loved him. I _still_ love Joker, but I'm so fucking unbelievably mad at him, that I honestly don't know if I can ever forgive him. He lied to me, he made me think I'd broken our relationship...for months!"

Selina nodded sympathetically. "Well, in any case, you need to talk to them. How about you go and meet whoever calls next?"

"I guess that's as good a plan as any."

As if on cue the phone rang, and Harley and Selina widened their eyes, neither getting up to answer it.

* * *

It wasn't Joker, but it wasn't Crane either. It was someone selling insurance. In fact, neither man called again by the end of the day, and so Selina decided to take Harley out. Probably because all her friend had done for the past two hours was sit and stare at the phone, while making her way through the last three chocolate bars. It had been four days since Harley had told Joker and Crane to leave her alone, and after about thirty phone calls between them, it seemed like they might actually now be listening to her.

She wasn't sure how she felt about it.

"We're going out," Selina had announced, grabbing a selection of outfits from Harley's wardrobe, scowling at each, and then choosing something from her own room. She threw a dress, short, red, and revealing, in Harley's direction.

"Put this on."

"I'm not in the mood."

"And I care, because?"

Harley groaned, "Why do I still live with you?"

Selina planted a kiss on her cheek. "We leave in twenty minutes."

* * *

"I'm not sure about this place," Harley began, looking around the Iceberg Lounge.

"Why?" Selina asked, sipping her drink.

"Why? Well, last time we were here we ran into Batman, Robin, and Joker. Oh, and Joker killed Robin."

Selina shrugged. "They're not here tonight. Plus this place does great cocktails. Just relax: don't think about either of them."

So she didn't. Harley didn't allow herself to think about either of the men. For the first time in four days, she put both of them out of her head, and just focused on having a good time.

Unfortunately, that was a bit of a mistake, because for some reason Harley's idea of a 'good time' on that particular evening was to get out-of-her-mind drunk. She and Selina began with cocktails, then moved on to shots, then back to cocktails, followed by some more shots. By 1.00AM, Selina was vomiting in the toilet of the Iceberg Lounge, while Harley held her hair back. She was also reapplying her own lipstick with her free hand, which she thought demonstrated a pretty reasonable amount of skill.

Selina vomited again, and Harley offered some words of encouragement.

"You go girl, show that toilet who's boss."

"Shut up, Harley."

Harley glanced in the mirror. "You think I should get another tattoo? I'm thinking something cute, like maybe a little heart or a flower? You know, cancel out the 'Rotten'. Something classy."

"Nothing says 'classy' like a facial tattoo," Selina mumbled from the toilet.

Harley ignored her. "Yeah, I think that'll look good."

Eventually Selina got to her feet, stumbling a little, and rinsing her mouth using water from the sink. Harley expected her to want to go home, or even look a little worse for wear, but when Selina turned around she looked as flawless as always, and wore a huge smile.

"I'm having so much fun," she grinned.

"Even after that?" Harley asked, raising an eyebrow.

Selina shrugged, "It's good to have a tactical puke every once in a while. Clears your head and keeps you skinny." She winked, and Harley couldn't help but laugh.

Selina looked at herself in the mirror, tousling her hair a little, and taking her earrings out. "These are too heavy, they really hurt."

"Why do you wear them?" Harley asked, though already knowing the answer.

Selina grinned. "Because they're fabulous."

Harley smiled, "Of course."

"An ex bought them for me, actually bought, not stolen. Kind of a rarity for me."

Harley sighed, leaning back against the other sink. "Joker bought me a bear. Like, an actual bear."

Selina's eyes widened. "Like a living, breathing bear?"

"Yeah, well, I assume he's still alive. I asked Jonny to look after him."

"I want to see it!"

"He's at Joker's place…"

"We can sneak in! He'll never even know we were there!"

Harley raised an eyebrow. "He knows _everything_."

Selina waved her hand airily, already heading for the door. "It'll be fine, let's go!"

 _This is a terrible idea._

 _A really bad idea._

 _Joker will know._

But though Harley could hear all this in her head, her brain was too saturated in vodka and colourful mixers to actually listen.

"Ok!" Harley giggled, taking Selina's hand and following her out of the restrooms.

* * *

Selina's idea had been to sneak in the back door. Unfortunately, after a couple of drinks Harley tended to become over-confident. And after six or seven, she was downright stupid. So she decided that the best option would be for Selina and herself to march right through the front door.

Music hit, and Harley was enveloped by the hot, smokey, perfume laden, smell of the club. It felt like home. "This way," Harley said, straightening her dress and leading Selina towards the back of the club, her confidence ebbing away slightly. But Joker was nowhere to be seen, and Harley assumed he was probably out causing some kind of trouble.

 _Or maybe he's gone to the movies with Crane, seeing as they're such great pals._

 _Don't do that to yourself. Don't think about either of them._

Harley took Selina to the door that led to the back of the club, and the two of them headed up the stairs. They reached the front door, and Harley opened it.

"Not locked?" Selina asked, puzzled.

Harley shook her head. "It's Joker, who would be suicidal enough to break in here?"

 _Other than us, of course._

The apartment was a little more tidy than last time: no broken glass on the floor at least, though the furniture was still destroyed, and the couch in particular looked terrible.

"Has he been stabbing that?" Selina asked.

Harley shrugged. "Probably."

"You have terrible taste in men."

"I know."

Harley began to say that they should check the bedroom for Bear, but she was interrupted by Selina clapping a hand to her mouth, eyes widening. Harley pointed in the direction of the bathroom, and Selina ran, slamming the door behind her. Her friend made it just in time, and Harley could hear her vomiting violently from inside. She sighed, walking absentmindedly around the large living room. It felt so strange to be back, like being home and being lost all at the same time. She checked the bedroom quickly, but Bear wasn't there. Harley hoped Joker hadn't sold him. Or worse.

She made her way back into the living room, absentmindedly glancing at a table by the window, a pile of photographs catching her eye. Safe in the knowledge that Selina would probably be a while, she decided to be nosy. Harley headed to the table, taking a look at the photograph on the top of the pile. It was a picture of her, walking with Bruce, taken from afar. She scowled, pushing it aside to better see the next photo: her in her apartment. The next was Harley out with Selina, and another of the two of them watching a movie at home, taken through the window from across the street. Harley fixing her hair. Harley running for the train. Harley pleading with a parking attendant not to give her a ticket. Harley stealing with Selina. Harley. Harley. Harley.

She roughly pushed the photos aside to see the others, dropping them carelessly onto the floor as she did. There must've been at least a hundred pictures, all of her. She felt the rage building inside her chest, what was Joker doing? Why did he have these? She turned, not even realising she was still holding one of the pictures and stomped towards the bathroom door. She and Selina were going to leave, her friend would just have to puke as they walked, they weren't going to stay here a second longer.

"Harley?"

Joker was standing in the open doorway to his apartment, a look of surprise on his face. He wore the maroon coloured shirt she loved so much, unbuttoned a little at the top. He had a tie, but it was undone. He didn't come any closer, just surveying her from where he was.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, not unkindly.

At that moment Selina threw up loudly in the bathroom, and Joker's eyes flicked towards the closed door. "Is that Miss Kyle?"

Harley nodded.

"Why is she vomiting in my bathroom?"

"That's not important," Harley began, waving her hand airily. She moved closer, holding up one of the photos.

"I'd say it's pretty importan-" Joker stopped when he saw what she was holding. She saw him glance at the other photos on the table by the window, and the ones on the floor.

"Why do you have this?" Harley asked, moving closer. "Why have you been spying on me?"

He didn't answer, but held her gaze.

Harley rolled her eyes, dropping the photo. "Never mind, my mistake for expecting to get a straight answer out of you." She made to leave, but he grabbed her by the arm, wrenching her back towards him.

"What do you want me to say?" His tone was hard, as if he was angry, though she wasn't entirely convinced it was with her.

"I don't want you to say anything," Harley said, shaking her head and freeing her arm from his grasp. "I don't want you to lie to me." She stormed out, forgetting about Selina, and hurrying down the steps. She went out through the fire exit, and found herself in the alley behind the club: the one where Joker had been kidnapped by Penguin all those months ago. It was cold, she could see her breath in front of her. Where was her jacket? Did she have one when she arrived? It didn't matter. She began to make her way down the dark alley.

"Harley!"

She turned, Joker was there, standing behind her. He said nothing else, but just looked at her. He looked different, worried? Frightened? She couldn't say for sure, only that it was an expression she hadn't seen on him before. She knew she had to decide right now: to walk away forever, or to fight for what they had. He'd hurt her so many times, could she cope with the humiliation any more?

"I don't know what you want me to say!" Joker yelled, surprising her.

"I want you to tell me why you were spying on me!" She yelled back, taking one step closer, aware that she sounded almost manic.

"You know why!"

"I want you to say it!"

"Because I couldn't let you go!" Joker ran his fingers through his hair, exasperated. He turned away from her, then back again. "I couldn't let you go," he repeated, more calmly now, moving closer.

"But you did," Harley breathed, backing away. "You kicked me out. You told me you didn't love me. You told me I was nothing. _You_ caused this. I don't know if we can ever be fixed."

She turned away, making her mind up, but then she heard something behind her. The hard sound of something dropping. She looked back. Joker was on his knees.

"Wh-what are you doing?" She asked.

Joker said nothing, just watched her with his beautiful grey eyes. The ones that could be so cold, yet so full of everything she ever needed at the same time. She moved a little closer, repeating herself. "What are you doing?"

 _Is he crying?_

A single tear slid down Joker's cheek, and he made no attempt to wipe it away, though he did break eye contact with her.

"I don't know how…" he began. "I've never…" He looked like he was getting angry with himself for not having the words. He met her gaze again. "You shouldn't forgive me. I know that. But I want you to."

Harley dropped onto her knees in front of him, so that finally they were face to face. She said nothing for a moment, their breath mingling in the cold air in front of them. "I don't know if I can," she admitted. "I don't know if I know you at all. I thought I did. I thought I knew everything about you, or at least more than anyone else. I thought I knew how you worked, but I don't. I don't think anyone can. I thought you'd always be honest…with me."

Joker nodded, saying nothing, so Harley continued. "I know you were trying to keep me safe, but I didn't need that. I needed you. Did you ever need me, really? Was it even about protecting me, or was this a great excuse to escape, because you are so afraid of being human?"

Joker thought for a moment, and in that time Harley truly had no idea what his answer would be. Finally he spoke. "When we met, I didn't know a thing about you. I had no idea what you would become to me, what we would be together. The first time you kissed me, I felt alive again, and my whole world became something different. It was like heaven and hell brought together in my head. My own secret world. And I knew I would burn there. I _was_ trying to keep you safe, but there was a part of me that thought this was the right thing for both of us. I love you Harley Quinn, I love you, and I hate that I love you, because I'm not supposed to. I'm terrified of what you do to me, but I'm even more terrified you'll stop."

Harley couldn't help it, she reached out and touched his face. He closed his eyes, just for a moment, leaning in to her hand. Eventually she took it back, and they looked at each other once more.

"Do you still love me?" He asked, for a moment looking like a little boy.

A tear ran down Harley's own cheek. "Of course I do. But I don't know if that's enough."

His cool eyes bore into hers, desperately searching for hope. Harley had to give him something.

"I need some time. I need to get things straight." She looked up into his eyes. He nodded. Harley leaned forwards, planting a gentle kiss on his forehead, then got to her feet, and made her way down the dark alley.

* * *

"I can't believe you left me there!" Selina scowled, slamming the apartment door.

Harley's eyes widened, and she gritted her teeth from her spot on the couch. "Oh fuck, I'm so sorry!"

"Oh it's fineeee," Selina replied sarcastically. "There's nothing I like better than walking out of the bathroom with vomit in my hair, and coming face to face with a psychotic clown." She sounded mad, but there was a smile playing on the corners of her mouth.

"Sorry, Sel," Harley repeated. "I wasn't thinking."

"What happened?"

Harley sighed. "Where do I start?"

* * *

"This is a bad idea."

"This is a great idea."

"I'm not in the mood for this," Harley sighed, taking her seat in the stands. Selina had dragged her along to watch a game at the Gotham stadium. Harley wasn't even aware that Selina liked football, but apparently she not only liked it, but she also had season tickets to the games. Though they may have been stolen rather than purchased. Selina convinced her that going to see a game might just be enough to take Harley's mind off her Joker situation, and for some reason Harley had agreed. She had dressed appropriately enough not to raise too much attention, though hadn't bothered to cover her 'rotten' tattoo, which was getting her a couple of odd glances from the fans around her. But it wasn't like she really cared what they thought anyway. Selina looked stunning as usual.

The national anthem had just ended, sung by a young boy. It was quite beautiful, but Harley couldn't truly enjoy it, her mind was still racing. She loved Joker, she loved him so much, but could she trust him? Maybe not. But could she really-

Her thoughts were interrupted by the first explosion. It rang out through the stadium, shaking the very foundations, and as more explosions followed, one after the other, Harley could see the ground of the football pitch itself collapsing. The players ran to escape. Everyone around her was screaming, and people surged towards the exits. But as the crowds headed up the stairs there were more explosions: the private boxes, where the richest people could view the games, exploded from the inside, sending shards of glass out into the fleeing crowd. Selina and Harley ducked, holding onto each other.

"What's happening?!" Selina cried.

"I don't know!"

Then the explosions stopped, and there was a loud scream of feedback: the kind you sometimes get when first speaking into a microphone. Harley and Selina turned, several men had stepped out onto what was left of the pitch. Harley could see them clearly on the large tv screens. Most looked relatively normal (or as much as they could amidst the chaos around them), but the man at the front was anything but. Large, muscular, bald, and wearing a mask over his mouth. Harley didn't know who he was, but she was already afraid of him. When he spoke, the entire stadium was silent, as though everyone knew this man was one to be listened to.  
"Gotham, take control! Take control of your city." He gestured to something on the floor. Something that looked an awful lot like a bomb.

"Oh my God," Selina gasped.

"Is that-"

"Yes."

The man gestured to the device. "This…this is the instrument of your liberation." He turned to look at the man beside him. "What is this?" He asked.

The other one cleared his throat, he looked terrified. "It's a…fully primed neutron bomb, with a blast radius of six miles."

"And who is capable of disarming such a device?"

"Only me."

"Only you. Thank you, Doctor." The man in the mask suddenly grabbed the other by the neck, snapping it with one twist. He fell dead to the floor. The people around her screamed, but Harley didn't. Neither did Selina. The two of them just looked at each other, before looking back up at the screens.

"Who is this guy?" Selina asked. Harley shook her head, she had no idea.

The man in the mask spoke again, his voice almost joyous. "Now, this bomb is armed! This bomb is mobile! And the identity of the triggerman is a mystery. For one of you holds the detonator!" He paused, and there was a slight murmur in the crowd, as people glanced around at each other. The man continued. "And we came here not as conquerors, but as liberators to return control of this city to the people. And at the first sign of interference from the outside world, or for those people attempting to flee, this anonymous Gothamite, this unsung hero, will trigger the bomb." Another pause, more murmuring. Harley didn't know what to think, this was too much all at once.

 _There's a neutron bomb in Gotham._

 _It can't be disarmed._

 _No one knows who has the trigger._

 _We can't escape the city._

 _Fuck._

The man spoke again, his voice oddly calm, a stark contrast to the situation they were facing. "For now, martial law is in effect. Return to your homes, hold your families close, and wait. Tomorrow you claim what is rightfully yours." He dropped the microphone, turned, and left he field. His men picked up the bomb, then followed behind.

* * *

Harley and Selina managed to make it home despite the chaos on the roads. Everyone had seen the speech, everyone knew what was happening. Cars jammed the streets, and people hurried along the sidewalks, all trying to escape the city. Harley knew it would be no good: a man like that didn't make empty threats. There'd be no escaping Gotham tonight. Or any night.

"It won't just be his people on the bridge," Selina said as they hurried towards their apartment. "The army will be there: they won't risk the bomb being detonated by evacuating people. These people have no chance," she gestured to those heading towards the bridge.

"What about the tunnels?" Harley asked, sidestepping two men carrying a huge tv, heading in the other direction.

"If they're still passable, it'll be the same thing: the army will stop people getting out."

"If they're passable?"

Selina shrugged as they reached their building. "If I wanted to keep people from escaping, I'd blow them up: cause them to cave in."

Harley's mind was still spinning as they headed put the stairs towards their apartment. All she wanted was to get somewhere safe, somewhere familiar. Selina unlocked the door, and the two of them hurried inside. Selina immediately poured herself a glass of strong scotch, then another for Harley as well. Harley had never liked the taste, yet drank it down all the same. The two of them dropped onto the couch, trying to ignore the sounds of panic outside.

"What should we do?" Harley asked.

Selina shook her head. "I have no idea. We can't try to get out, we could always-"

There was a knock at the door, interrupting them. The two women looked at each other, and Harley nervously got to her feet. She moved over, opening the door just a fraction, then wider when she saw who it was.

"Joker?"

He said nothing, and for a moment the two of them just looked at each other.

 _He came here for me._

 _Stop making me love you so much._

But the moment was interrupted as Crane spoke, she hadn't even seen him standing just behind Joker!

"I hate to interrupt this touching moment, but may we come in?"

Joker stepped into the apartment as if he owned the place. Harley moved aside to let Crane in as well. "Before you ask," he continued. "We didn't come together." He rolled his eyes at the very thought.

"Are we having a party?" Selina asked sarcastically as the men stepped into the living room, pouring herself another drink. "I'm not sure I could keep up with you two." Harley stifled a smile: neither Crane nor Joker looked in any way like they were in the mood to do anything remotely fun.

"Hilarious," Crane drawled. He sat down at the nearest chair, but Joker moved over to the window.

"What are you doing here?" Harley asked.

"I came to check you were ok," Crane explained. "I wasn't the only one."

Harley tried to ignore the hammering in her chest that Joker's mere presence in her apartment caused. She worked to make her voice sound even when she said: "We were just talking about what to do."

"There's nothing to do," Joker replied from the window, his voice impassive. "Bane's got all the exits to the city blocked or lined with explosives. The only way you get out is in pieces."

"So we're trapped here?" Selina asked.

"Great," Crane drawled.

"Until we find out what he wants, yes."

"I've never heard of Bane," Selina said, still standing in the kitchen, eyes on Joker. "Do you know anything about him?"

"Only stories," Joker muttered. He turned back from the window, eyes never leaving Harley. "I want you to come and stay with me."

Harley's eyes widened, but she shook her head. "We'll be fine."

Joker held his gaze. "Things are going to get crazy in here, Bane's already on his way to empty the asylum and the prison. It's not safe."

"We can look after ourselves," Selina insisted. Joker's eyes flicked to hers, a scowl forming on his beautiful face.

 _Just his face, stop thinking of it as beautiful, you're not helping yourself, Harley._

Crane sighed, "If you won't stay with the clown then why don't I at least stay here?"

Selina scowled. "What makes you two think we need a man to look after us? Don't you know who we are?"

"Don't make this a gender equality thing," Crane drawled, rolling his eyes. "The nutjobs are going to be out tonight, and as much as the clown and I hate each other, we don't want either of you to get hurt."

Joker shrugged. "They can do what they like with the cat."

Selina used a hand gesture to show Joker exactly what she thought of that comment. And Harley quickly stepped in between the two of them. "We'll be fine. I think you two should go, Selina and I have some things to do."

Reluctantly, very reluctantly, Crane and Joker moved towards the door. Selina opened it, and Crane left first. Joker made to follow, then stopped, turning back to Harley. He moved closer, so close they were almost touching.

"Come with me."

"I can't," Harley replied gently. "But we'll be ok. I still need some time to think, and we both know what will happen if I come with you tonight."

Joker grinned. "Yeah, exactly that."

"Exactly. And as fun as that would be, it would just complicate things. I still haven't made up my mind."

Joker sighed, rolling his eyes. "I don't like to wait, Harley."

"Suck it up, Puddin'," she replied, adding a little playfulness to her tone. She moved to kiss him gently on the cheek, but he turned his head at the last minute, and their lips met. Harley felt her insides turn to liquid as he kissed her, felt her legs begin to wobble as his hands found her waist. But, though it took all she had, she gently pushed him away.

"I'll be fine," she whispered, unable to look away from his icy eyes.

Joker nodded, taking a step back, then turning to the door, which Selina was still holding open. She gave him a one fingered goodbye, once more, then shut the door behind him.

"Harley, I know you love him and everything, but does he have to be _such_ an asshole?"

* * *

Harley didn't get much sleep that night, tossing and turning until the sun came up. For a while there had been a great deal of screaming and yelling outside her window, but it seemed to have settled down this morning. When Harley woke up, Selina was already gone, having left a note to say she was going to be out for a couple of hours and would be back soon. Harley wasn't too worried, Selina was more than capable of taking care of herself.

She dressed hurriedly, deciding to get out of the apartment. She didn't have anywhere to go, it wasn't like she was working anymore, but she just wanted to get out and see Gotham.

Harley stepped out into the cool morning. The street outside didn't look so different, in fact, it felt like a regular morning. Though as she passed people on the street, there was a definite sense of anxiety in the air.

Harley found herself turning down a nearby alley, still not entirely sure where she was going.

"Hey sweetheart."

Harley turned, three men stepped out in front of her. They were similar looking: each with brown hair and dark eyes. They were grinning widely at the sight of her, or at least two of them were, one looked a little less happy. The anxious looking one muttered something to the guy next to him, but Harley couldn't hear what was said.

"Morning boys," Harley said breezily. "Lovely day, huh?"

"Beautiful," the one in the middle replied. "Where are you going?"

"For a drink. Wanna come?"

The middle one grinned. "Maybe later.

"She's Harley Quinn," the nervous man muttered. "I'm sure of it."

"Who cares?" The middle one replied. "Word on the street is that Joker and Quinn aren't together any more."

"So she's all alone," the other man finished. All three began to grin, eyes roaming over Harley's body. She sighed.

"Ok guys, I'm getting a very 'rapey' vibe off you, and I have to say that I'm really not in the mood."

"Tie her up," the middle one ordered, ignoring her. She caught sight of a gun, holstered at his side. The two other men approached, one holding a length of cord between his hands.

"I'm not into that these days," Harley remarked. The nervous open took hold of her from behind, and the other struck her roughly across the face. She felt the needling pain on her pale cheek, but gave no indication that it hurt, simply turning back to meet his gaze.

"I'm gonna make you scream," the man hissed, laughing afterwards. The one behind her held on tightly, too tightly, it really hurt. The one who hit her now began to wrap the cord around her hands. Harley felt a wicked grin spread across her face, despite the throbbing pain. She leaned closer, eyes on the one tying her wrists. She whispered to him in her most seductive purr.

"Just so you know, I like it rough." She leaned in, kissing him on the lips. This caught him off guard, and in the seconds it took for him to realise what was happening, Harley bit down hard, tearing his lips from his face. He screamed in pain, stumbling back. Harley spat out the flesh in her mouth, then grabbed the man behind her by the shirt and forcing him between herself and the one with the gun. Just in time: the bullets intended for her struck this guy in the back while she was safe behind him.

After eight shots the man stopped, he needed to reload, and Harley released her hold on her human shield. He dropped heavily to the floor. Mr No Lips, who had until that moment been sobbing on the ground, lunged towards her, knife in hand. But she side stepped, kicking him in the stomach. He went down, groaning, and she gave him an final kick to the back of the head. Now the only one left was the gunman. Harley grinned as he clicked his empty weapon at her. He dropped it onto the floor, holding up both hands.

"Please," he stuttered. "Don't hurt me."

"Oh honey," Harley soothed, walking over slowly, heels clicking on the ground. She wiped the blood from her mouth, smiling. "Today isn't your day." She roundhouse kicked him, catching him square in the jaw and knocking him backwards. He hit his head against the wall with a crack, and fell to the floor. Harley stepped over him gingerly, then continued on her way.

 _No sirens, no Batman._

 _Maybe this won't be so bad?_


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi guys, sorry for the late update, things have been crazy at the moment at work and in my personal life, but it's slowly settling now! Thanks for the kind reviews for the last chapter, and I hope you like this one, and where this is going.**

* * *

Harley's positivity about the new Gotham lasted a week. In that week, she and Selina continued their nightly outings (though it was getting harder to find stores that hadn't already been looted), Joker and Crane kept their distance, allowing her to try and put her feelings into order, and things generally didn't seem too bad.

Until Harley arrived home that day. She should've known what was about to happen: something felt different in the air as she headed up the stairs to the apartment, but she waved it off as nothing. Tensions had generally been running a little high over the past week, and she thought it was simply that feeling weighing down on her as she moved towards her front door. It was unlocked, slightly ajar, and that's when Harley realised that things were about to get real bad, real fast. She opened it fully (what else could she do?), and saw Selina tied to a chair in the living room. Harley had a brief flashback of waking up to find herself and her friend Sarah tied up, all those months ago, when they were victims of Zsasz's cruel games. But now was not the time for reminiscing, now was the time when she could see five strangers in her own apartment, tearing the place apart while Selina watched helplessly.

Harley reached for her baseball bat, leaning against the wall by the door. Once it was safely in her hands, she cocked her head to one side, speaking to the whole apartment.

"You know, I don't remember leaving the door unlocked. Or asking five people with terrible dress sense to trash the apartment." She looked at Selina, raising an eyebrow. "Why are you tied up? Is this a sex thing?"

"I wish," Selina drawled. "These nice gentleman, and that woman with the terrible perm, say they're here to rob us."

"Shut up!" One of the men yelled, and Harley grinned as the woman ran a hand unconsciously through her hair. "Get the fuck out!" He continued, "This is our place!"

Harley rolled the baseball bat between her hands. "Actually, this is my place."

"Technically it's mine," Selina piped up. "You're behind on rent."

"I told you I'm good for it!"

"I'm just saying, it'd be nice to have a little more money in the place again."

"Get off my back, Selina, you'll only spend it on a new scratching post anyway."

The men and woman looked confused at this sudden diversion, and Harley paused to remember what she was saying. "Where was I? Oh yeah! Get out before I smash your knees down to your ankles." She smiled widely, swinging the bat playfully at her side.

The intruders took a moment to look at each other, then all charged. Harley knocked the first one down, a guy with a hideous goatee beard, and he smashed through the glass coffee table.

"Harley!" Selina groaned. "That was expensive!"

"What do you care?" Harley asked, catching the next man across the head, sending him flying across the room. "You didn't pay for it!"

"It doesn't mean it didn't have value. If you could kill these guys without damaging anything else I'd really appreciate it."

Harley rolled her eyes, kicking out at the woman, who tumbled backwards against the sideboard, knocking over three vases as she did so. Harley heard Selina mutter something angrily, but she was too busy taking down the last two guys to notice. Finally she was done, and the intruders lay groaning on the floor. Or some of them did, a couple might've been dead, but Harley hadn't checked yet. She moved towards Selina, who watched her frostily.

"I'm sorry about the table," Harley said, attempting to untie the mess of knots.

"And the vases?"

"I'm not sorry about those. They were ugly."

"That's true."

Harley gave up on the knots, realising they weren't coming undone that way, and was about to get a knife when she heard the movement by the door. Selina's eyes widened, and Harley turned to see who had arrived. Four men, all armed, all wearing masks. One of the masks was Batman's face, one was Joker, the other two were both Superman.

"Oh good," Selina drawled sarcastically.

"Hey Puddin'," Harley grinned at the one in the Joker mask. "You look different. Kinda fatter, and with weirder hair."

The Joker man and the one with the Batman mask moved closer, raising their guns at her.

"Don't get me wrong," Harley added. "I'm kinda into it."

She didn't get the chance to say much more. The man with the Joker mask smacked her across the head with his gun, and everything went black.

* * *

"Harley, Harley, can you hear me?"

Harley blinked, and slowly everything came into focus. Selina was kneeling beside her, and gently helped her into a sitting position. Harley looked around the apartment: ransacked, and missing so many of the things she and Selina had collected over the past few months.

"Fuckers," Harley muttered, raising a hand to her head. It was pounding, and when she took it away there was a little blood on her fingertips.

"It's not bad," Selina reassured, "I checked. You don't need stitches."

Harley nodded. "How much did they take?"

"Everything," Selina sighed. "Everything worth anything. They left most of your stuff." She grinned, and Harley rolled her eyes.

"Hilarious," Harley sighed, "What are we going to do?"

"I don't know."

"It's probably not safe here now."

"No, probably not." Selina took a breath, as if steeling herself for something. "I suppose we could go and stay with Joker?"

"No way," Harley replied, shaking her head despite how much it hurt. "Not after we made such a big deal about being able to look after ourselves. I don't want him to think we're weak."

"Ok."

"I mean it, Selina, no Joker."

"Yeah I understand."

"You've called him already haven't you?"

"Uhuh."

At that moment the door swung open and Joker waltzed inside as if he owned the place. He looked around, an unsurprised expression on his face. "Nice place," he drawled. "Wild party I take it?"

"Shut up," Selina replied, helping Harley to her feet. "Have you got a car?"

"I thought it might be a bit of a squeeze trying to get all three of us on my tricycle."

Selina and Harley both glared at him coldly, and he held up his hands in surrender. "The car is outside."

Selina nodded. "Then let's get moving. I just need to get some things, or whatever is left." She disappeared into her room, leaving Harley and Joker alone. He looked her up and down. Not asking, but then he never needed to.

"I'm fine," Harley replied. "I need to get my stuff." She turned and headed to her room. As she expected, it was completely trashed. She picked up her biggest bag, and flung in whatever clothes were left, and the make-up (which they thankfully hadn't stolen). She looked at herself in the mirror, and took a few moments to tidy her face: scraping her hair into a high ponytail, and reapplying her make up. Then Harley opened her wardrobe and reached up to the top shelf. The photo album containing the pictures of her and her mother were still here, so they went in the bag too. As she pulled the book out, a number of pieces of paper fell onto the floor. Harley looked down. They were the sketches Joker drew of her back when he was her patient. The ones where he had made her look so beautiful doing the most everyday of tasks. She found herself staring at them, then reached down, picking up a drawing of her during a therapy session. She looked at it carefully: there was so much detail in this delicate, beautiful pencil drawing. How long had it taken him? Hours? Down in that cell all alone.

"Why did you keep them?"

Harley jumped a little as Joker spoke, not realising he had been standing in the doorway. She shook her head, "Why wouldn't I?"

"Because I was cruel."

"You've always been cruel."

"Not to you."

"No, not to me. Not at first."

"So why did you keep them?" He repeated. But they were interrupted by Selina's voice.

"Are you ready, Harley?"

Harley zipped up her bag. "Yeah, let's go." She put the drawing down on the dressing table, then walked past Joker back into the living room.

* * *

"What do you mean Batman's gone?" Harley asked, putting down her drink. She and Selina were sitting at the bar in Joker's club, and Selina had just informed Harley of the rumor she had heard.

Selina shrugged. "That's all I know. Everyone's talking about it though: it's definitely something to do with Bane. They're saying he's taken him somewhere."

"Where?"

"I don't know, but nowhere good."

Harley's mind was racing. Ok, she and Bruce hadn't exactly left things on good terms, but she didn't want him to be hurt. Where would Bane have taken him? Who knew? She'd never get close enough to Bane to figure it out. Harley sighed, finishing her drink. She looked to the man behind the bar, Steven was it? She thought that might've been his name, but she'd not exactly been paying attention.

"Hey," she began, holding up her glass, but he ignored her. He was busy, the bar was bustling tonight.

"I don't think we're gonna get served any time soon," Selina grumbled.

Harley got to her feet, sitting on top of the bar, then swung her legs over to drop down on the other side. "Same again?" She asked Selina. Her friend grinned, holding out her glass, which Harley refilled.

"You're not supposed to be back here," Steven called over.

Harley gave him her coldest stare, didn't he know who she was? She was not in the mood for being told no. Surprisingly, he turned away, letting her get on with what she was doing. She passed Selina her drink, then poured one of her own.

"Hey, can I get a beer?" There was a man looking over, waving a twenty in her direction.

Harley shrugged, taking the money and putting it down her top. She passed him a beer.

"My change?" He asked.

"Sorry, no change in here," Harley replied, showing him her cleavage. "Maybe try again later."

The man looked a little confused, but disappeared back into the depths of the club. "I could get used to this," Harley grinned, moving to serve the next customer.

* * *

Selina had gone upstairs to sleep, but Harley was buzzing too much. She'd been behind the bar for several hours, had a bra full of money, and had helped herself to more than a few cocktails. At this precise moment she was sitting on the back counter by the cash register, sipping a cosmo and trying to explain to Steven that it was totally ok for a man to get his back waxed.

"I mean, seriously, it's not weird," she continued.

"I know that, I just don't want to."

"Ok Steve, can I call you Steve?"

"My name is Josh."

"Steve, I'm gonna say this as your friend-"

"We're not friends-"

"-as your friend, your back is way too hairy to be appealing. Like, to anyone."

"I really don't care about that."

"Don't you worry you'll be with a woman and she'll get her hands tangled up in that mess? I mean you literally look like a bear from behind."

"I think you're exaggerating-"

"No, I mean I _have_ a pet bear, and I thought you were him."

"I don't care what women think about my back."

Harley's eyes widened. " _Oh,_ I understand."

"No, I don't mean-"

"Message received. I know a few guys who are single, and one of them has really low standards, maybe he won't care about the back hair?"

"Having fun?" A voice she knew too well. Harley looked up, Joker was sitting at the bar, his cold eyes surveying her, a slight smile on his lips.

"You know it," Harley replied, sipping her drink once more.

"I hear you've been making a little pocket money?"

Harley threw a sideways look at Steve. "Snitch," she muttered, grinning. "You're off my Christmas list, Steve."

"It's still Josh."

Harley waved away his response, hopping off the counter, moving towards Joker. They were still separated by the bar. She pulled her shirt to one side, revealing her bra, bulging with notes. His eyes flicked down, and she allowed him only a couple of seconds before she covered herself back up.

"Just a few bucks," she grinned. "Mama needs some new shoes."

"Uhuh."

Harley smiled more widely, helping herself to another drink.

"So you work here now?" Joker asked, eyes never leaving her.

"I guess so."

"Funny, I don't remember your interview."

"Oh I was very good, don't worry."

"I'll bet."

"Steve thinks I'm doing a great job."

"Who's Steve?"

Harley ignored him, leaning a little closer, both elbows on the bar. "Do you hate it?"

Joker raised an eyebrow. "Hate what?"

"Hate me being here? Close enough to touch, but you can't."

 _Why are you talking to him like that? This is stupid._

 _He broke me, a little taunting can't hurt._

 _It can. He's dangerous._

Joker didn't smile, but his tone was still relatively relaxed. "Awfully confident now, aren't we?"

Harley grinned. "I've earned it. You put me through hell for six months."

"And I'd love to make it up to you, if you tell me how."

"It's more fun to play with you like this."

"I can think of better ways to play."

"I bet you can." Harley moved back, turning to face Steve. "I'm knocking off for the night, sweetie. See you tomorrow."

"You're coming back?" He looked positively disgusted, but Harley simply blew him a kiss, before turning back to Joker.

"I like him," she mouthed, sitting on the bar, swinging her legs over, and dropping down onto the other side.

"Harley."

She turned, "Hmm?"

Joker held out his hand. Harley rolled her eyes, moving closer. She reached into her top, pulling a handful of still warm bills from her cleavage. His eyes never left her own. She handed him the money, then turned to leave.

"That's not all of it."

"Yes it is," Harley lied, not looking back, a smile playing on her lips.

* * *

Joker had given Selina and Harley the spare room. Selina was already asleep, so Harley quietly tiptoed into the dark room. She grabbed her wash things, and slipped out again, making her way towards the large bathroom. Joker was in the kitchen now, how had she not heard him come in? He was like a goddamn ninja! He watched her walk towards the bathroom, stepping out to block her path. Harley cocked her head to one side, raising an eyebrow but saying nothing.

 _What do you want?_

Without a word he slipped his hand into her bra, gently taking hold of the rest of the money, skimming one finger across her nipple, before withdrawing. He grinned, stepping aside, the notes clutched in his fist. Harley tried to act like her heart wasn't racing, continuing on towards the bathroom as if nothing had happened. But the second that door was closed, Harley slid down onto the floor, hating herself for how much she had enjoyed the feel of his hand on her skin once more.

* * *

Selina and Harley were at a party. Harley had no idea whose party it was, only that she doubted very much that the house they were in was actually owned by the host, because the whole event seemed to revolve around the destruction of the property. Each room was being trashed, items were being stolen, and alcohol seemed to be soaking into the carpet and furniture of every room. The music blasted out, and Harley watched almost lazily as two women had sex on the coffee table. She wasn't entirely sure the one on the bottom was still conscious.

"Well, isn't this delightful?"

Harley turned at Crane's voice. He eyed the women with disdain, then looked around the room.

"What are you doing here?" Harley asked. "This isn't your kind of party."

"Evidently not."

"Are you here to talk to me?"

Crane paused. "No. I get the feeling that ship has sailed. I'm here for Bane."

Harley's eyes widened. "Bane? He's here?"

"No, but one of his people is. I've heard a whisper that Bane is looking for me. I want to find out why."

"Do you need any help?"

Crane shook his head. "No, I'll be fine." He looked at her for a moment, a hint of a smile on his lips. "You look very nice."

Harley looked down, suddenly embarrassed. "Thanks." She took a breath. "I'm sorry. For…you know."

Crane nodded. "I know."

"You were wrong to lie to me."

"I know that too." He smiled. "It was fun though."

"Lying to me?"

"What came as a result of it."

Harley had to smile too. "Yeah, it was."

"I have to go."

She nodded. "I'll see you around?" It was a question more than a statement, for some reason she hated the idea of leaving it like this.

Crane nodded. "I'm sure." He left the room, heading towards the stairs.

"What did he want?" Selina seemed to appear as if from nowhere. "One of your crazy, narcissistic exes is enough for me."

"Says he's looking for Bane. Or rather, Bane's looking for him."

"Why?"

Harley shrugged. "No idea. But I doubt it's good."

"You want to follow him?"

"Yes, but I can't. He doesn't want my help, and I'd rather avoid as much drama as possible, especially after last night."

"What happened last night?" Selina asked, her voice dripping with curiosity.

Harley sighed, "Nothing really, but I just realised how not-over Joker I really am."

"Is that such a bad thing?"

Harley raised an eyebrow. "You hate him, remember?"

"Oh I remember, and I still do. But _you_ don't, and I love you."

"I _should_ hate him for all that he put me through, yet somehow he still feels like the good guy. For all his asshole-ness, he was trying to protect me. In his own fucked-up way, of course."

"So why don't you get back with him?"

"Because I know there was a part of him that needed the excuse to kick me out: he was too scared about what we were becoming. I'm terrified he'll do it again. I don't know if I could survive getting my heart ripped out twice."

Selina paused, taking a sip of her drink. Her eyes flicked to the door Crane had disappeared through. "How did he take it?"

"He knew already really. No great surprise for him."

"I bet it still hurt though."

"Ok thanks, Selina, that's just what I need to hear."

Selina smiled, "Sorry Harls. Ok, no more men, not tonight, let's just try to enjoy ourselves."

* * *

Selina and Harley explored the house, and spent the next few hours trying to enjoy the party. Something, however, just didn't feel right, and Harley knew her friend felt it too. People were laughing, partying, but it was almost forced: like they were trying to prove something. Like they felt they had to be like this because Bane expected them to.

Upstairs, Selina and Harley wandered into the master bedroom at the same moment a man and a woman were dragged out from under the bed. They were yelling, fighting to free themselves. They looked in their late thirties, and were well dressed. Harley recognised them immediately as the couple from the pictures on the walls. They owned the house. She and Selina watched, open mouthed, as the couple were wrenched from under the bed, dragged down the stairs, and dumped out in the street. They got to their feet, tears streaming down the woman's cheeks, and stumbled away into the night.

"This was their house," Harley breathed, suddenly feeling sick to her stomach.

"I guess it's everyone's house now…thanks to Bane," Selina muttered.

Harley shook her head. "I don't like this."

"Me neither."

"Let's get out of here."

* * *

When Harley and Selina arrived back at Joker's apartment, they were surprised to find Joker and Crane both sitting on the couch. They looked deep in conversation.

"I thought your treatment was over?" Harley asked, looking at Joker. Jonny had let slip that Joker wouldn't need any more treatments from Crane: the Titan was completely out of his system. Joker didn't seem surprised that she knew, though he did throw a frustrated look at the closed door behind her, where Jonny stood in his usual spot outside the front door.

"I really need to have Jonny killed," he muttered.

"Is it over or not?" Harley persisted.

"It is."

"Just decided to keep up the friendship?"

Crane scoffed. "Hardly. I came because I have information."

"What information?" Selina asked, crossing her arms.

"Bane wants me to be the judge at some rudimentary court he is holding. He wants me to pass judgement on, and sentence, those he deems criminal."

"Sounds right up your alley," Selina drawled.

"Are you going to do it?" Harley asked.

"Bane is not one to be denied." Crane glanced at Joker, then continued. "I came here because having me working for Bane could be beneficial: I may learn things about him, about his plans, that could be useful to us."

" _Us?_ Are we all friends now?" Harley asked.

Joker got to his feet. "What Bane's planning, it doesn't have a happy ending. I may enjoy chaos, but I don't enjoy being dead, so we need to stop this. But we can't do it alone, we're going to have to work together." He paused, looking at both Harley and Selina. "All of us."

"Can't wait," Selina muttered sarcastically.

"Ok, what do we need to do?" Harley asked.

"We need to find out where the bomb is, need to find out who the trigger man is, and we need to kill Bane." Joker looked at Selina. "For that we need weapons, you think you can steal us up some of those, cat lady?"

Selina rolled her eyes. "Love to."

"I'm going to start putting some of my toxin together," Crane began. "Could be useful in a fight."

"What do you want me to do?" Harley asked.

Joker smiled, "We can't do this alone. A lot of criminals in this town, and we could use their help. So you, sweetheart, have the most important job of all. You're recruiting."

"Who first?"

Joker just grinned.


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks for the lovely comments on the last chapter, I hope you like this one. I love a slow burn, so I hope you guys can be patient with me, I'll try to make sure it's worth it :)**

* * *

Harley took a breath, looking up at the large building in front of her. It was an old courthouse in downtown Gotham: empty for years and scheduled for demolition. But now it was something else: it belonged to Two Face now.

Harley knew very little about Two Face, having only seen him once in person (from a distance) when he had tried to shoot Batman. Actually she'd got in the way and warned Bruce that it was about to happen. So Two Face might not be overjoyed at the sight of her, come to think of it. Still, it wasn't like she could go back. Not now she was walking up the steps to the courthouse, and especially not now that Two Face's goons on the door had seen her. They were dressed like old school gangsters and wore masks which were half blackened.

"Get out of here," one of them grunted at her. "Two Face has got no time for women like you."

Harley raised an eyebrow, cocking her head to one side. "Women like me?"

"Whores."

Harley looked down at her outfit: very short shorts, a tight black and white striped top that accentuated her cleavage, and high heeled sneakers. Her hair was pulled into her trademark pigtails, and she had painted her lips a deep burgundy. She shrugged. "You got me, I do look a little easy in this. But I'm not a whore. Not technically. I need to talk to your boss."

The one who hadn't yet spoken piped up now. "Wait, you're Harley Quinn?"

"In the flesh," Harley grinned, then bit her lip. "Oops, don't worry I'll try to avoid talking about flesh when I'm in there, I know about your boss' 'condition.'"

Harley didn't get much of a chance to gauge their reaction, as both men grabbed her roughly by either arm and dragged her into the building.

"Hey! Watch the merchandise!" She protested as they pulled her inside. She was dragged through several long corridors, before being taken inside a large room and forced onto a hard backed wooden chair in front of a table. She didn't try to get up, and the two men took a place on either side of her, both pointing pistols at her head. There was an empty chair across the table opposite her. Across the room, by the dark window, she could see him: Two Face (or Harvey Dent, as he had previously been known). Harley wondered which name he'd prefer, then decided to go with something safer.

"Hey, sweetie," she called over. "How's it going? I don't suppose you remember me?"

A gruff chuckle from the window. Dent made his way over. Harley tried not to recoil at the sight of him: handsome and angelic features on his right, a scarred and burned monster on the left. His clothes were themed to match his mess of a face: neat and ordered on the right, burned and damaged on the left. He used to be one of the good guys, now he was one of the most dangerous.

"You look…well," Harley began tactfully.

"Oh I remember you," Two Face grinned, his teeth prominent behind his burned-off lips. "I can't help but wonder why you came here? Do you want to die, Miss Quinn?" He took a seat at the chair opposite, surveying her curiously.

"You know, sometimes I wonder that myself," Harley pondered, leaning her elbows on the table. "The other night I drank a shit-ton of that vodka with the gold bits in it, you know, the classy one? And I didn't feel so good, but I thought that I'd make it better by eating a burger. Or six. And as I spent the next two hours with my head in the toilet, I couldn't help but think: 'Hey Harley, are you trying to kill yourself?' Cause there have gotta be easier ways!"

Dent looked momentarily confused at her response, so she continued. "But anyway, I decided I don't want to die, I just need to ease of the vodka. And burgers. But that's not why I came here."

"Why did you come here?"

"To make you an offer, and before you think it, not that kind of offer." Harley held up her hands. "I know how I look, your guys already pointed out my outfit is a little slutty, but it's not that. Well, not yet." She threw him a wink, to which he gave no reaction. "No, I'm here about Bane."

Dent got to his feet, lighting a cigarette. "I don't care about Bane. His actions got me out of Arkham, he can do what he wants with this city."

Harley grinned, "You were in Arkham? I was literally just there! You should've said hi!"

Dent stared at her with those cold eyes, and Harley remembered it might've been a teensy bit her fault that he ended up there in the first place. She let out a nervous laugh. "Ok, you were probably busy. Anyway, Bane's plan doesn't end well for any of us. We both know he'll end up blowing that bomb, whether the trigger man decides to or not, and then what's left? It's not like you can hide in here, it's an atomic bomb! It'll blow your face clean off-" She widened her eyes, gritting her teeth. "Sorry, never mind, it'll be shit, that's what I mean."

"And what do you intend to do about it?" Dent asked, taking a long drag of his cigarette.

"We're going to fight him."

" _We_?"

Harley grinned. "Yeah, we're getting a little group together. Like the Avengers, but less goody-goody. And without the lame costumes."

"And who's in this little group?"

"Me, Catwoman, and Joker. Ok so maybe the three of us like the costumes..." She trailed off, deciding not to mention Crane. Not when he was supposedly working for Bane: she couldn't risk blowing his cover.

Dent stabbed out his cigarette. "Joker? Why the hell would I want to work with that madman?"

Harley shrugged. "Why not?"

"Why not?!" Dent cried, slamming his hands on the table and making her jump. "Who do you think did this to me?" He pointed at his damaged face.

 _Couldn't have told me that, huh, Joker? A little warning might've helped!_

But Harley kept her cool, acting as if this wasn't completely new information. "Sure, he's a little reckless, but hey, you wouldn't be the man you are today if it wasn't for him, right?" She flashed him a winning smile.

A small, sly grin creeped across Dent's mangled lips. "I'm not sure that's a good thing."

"We need your men," Harley said, deciding to be upfront. "Your boys are some of the best, and you've got weapons. When the time comes to take Bane down, I want you there."

Dent seemed to be considering it. "And what's in it for me?"

Harley shrugged. "What do you want?"

"I want to kill Joker."

Harley made the 'wrong' buzzer sound. "Wrong answer, Harv. Joker's mine. If anyone's gonna kill him, it'll be me."

He raised an eyebrow. "You want to kill him?"

"Oh sweetie, so much. But I haven't decided whether I should or not."

"Why do you want to?"

"He dumped me, and I'm kinda clingy that way." She got to her feet, moving closer to Dent. "Tell you what, Harv, why don't you make the choice for me? I hear you like games of chance."

Dent grinned, getting to his feet and pulling out a coin from his pocket. He passed it to her, and she turned it over in her hands. It was a two-headed coin: one side clean, the other blackened.

"How apropos," Harley grinned.

Dent took it back, showing her the clean side. "Joker lives." He turned it, showing the blackened. "Joker dies."

Harley nodded. Dent stepped back, flipped the coin and caught it with the other hand. They both looked down.

 _Clean._

Harley hadn't realised she'd been holding her breath. The knife tucked into the back of her shorts seemed to feel a little less heavy: she wouldn't have to do any stabbing tonight. Or at least not yet. She grinned at Dent. "So we have a deal?"

He shook his head. "No, that was just whether I was going to kill Joker, I didn't say anything about helping you."

Harley rolled her eyes. "You know, I have other places to be. Come on, Harvey baby, you don't want to be blown up. Just join us."

"I only deal in chance."

Harley grinned, "Ok, then how about we play my game?"

"What game?"

"Wait right here, I'll show you."

* * *

"What's _Buckeroo_?" Dent asked, scowling at the box Harley put down on the table. She'd noticed the old toy store on her way to Dent's place, and had gone to do a little last-minute looting after making Dent the offer.

"It's a game of chance," Harley grinned, "Perfect for you." She opened the box, putting the plastic donkey on the table, trying not to laugh at the confused expression on Dent's face. "You've never played?" She asked.

"No."

"It's super fun. We each take a turn putting things on the donkey, and whoever makes him throw everything off loses!"

Dent stared her down, so she added in a gentle tone. "It's a game of chance: he could kick and throw everything off at any minute."

"Can't we just use the coin?"

"No, Dent, we play my game."

Dent rolled his eyes, looking momentarily like a petulant child. He flicked his coin, then looked down at his hand, groaned, and dropped down onto the chair opposite her. Harley raised an eyebrow, he really did let the coin dictate his life. Still, at least it worked in her favour today.

 _Little do you know, Dent, that I have never lost a game!_

 _Because I know how to cheat._

Harley grinned, this was going to be fun.

* * *

Harley returned to the club, to find Joker, Selina, and Crane in the apartment upstairs. Selina was showing off a big bag of guns, and Joker and Crane both looked mildly impressed.

"Where did you get them?" Crane asked.

"I have my sources," Selina purred.

"It's a start," said Joker. "But we'll need a lot more."

Selina rolled her eyes, but nodded, heading to the kitchen and getting a bottle of water from the fridge. She was still in full Catwoman attire, though had taken her eye mask off. "Hey Harls," she said as Harley made her way inside. "Any luck with Dent?"

"He'll help," Harley said, sitting on the chair by the couch, despite the fact that there was room next to Joker. He didn't miss this, pointedly looking at the space beside him, then at her.

"Oh, and thanks for the head's up," she added, glaring at him.

"With what?"

"Uh, I don't know, the fact that you're the one who mangled his face?"

A grin spread across Joker's lips, as if recalling a fond memory. "Oh yeah, I forgot about that."

"Well _he_ hadn't."

"You didn't know about that?" Crane asked. "I thought everyone knew it was Joker's fault?"

"I knew," Selina added from the kitchen.

Harley held up her hands in exasperation. "Next time, guys, feel free to tell me any information that might actually be important." She took the bottle of water Selina was holding out, and her friend sat on the couch beside Joker, who moved up a little to give her room. A lot actually: like he couldn't bear to be too close to her.

"Who's next?" Selina asked.

Harley looked at Joker, who smiled. "Penguin."

Selina sucked in her teeth, looking over at Harley. "Doesn't he hate you?"

"Yes."

"You want me to come with you?" Joker asked.

Harley rolled her eyes. "He hates you just as much." Crane looked like he was about to speak, but Harley cut him off. "And you." She rounded on Selina, "But he doesn't hate you."

Selina grinned. "Then let's do it."

* * *

"Let me get this straight, Miss Quinn," Penguin scoffed in his pompous British accent from the other side of the room. "You broke into my museum, stole one of the most valuable pieces in my collection, made promises you couldn't keep about delivering the Batman to me, and now you want my help?"

Harley rolled her eyes. "Well, when you put it that way-"

Selina interrupted, from her spot beside Harley on the couch. "Excuse me, I hate to be a bore, but could you get your guys to stop pointing those things at us? I know it's meant to be intimidating, but honestly it's like being threatened by my seventy year old Aunt."

The women were surrounded by Penguin's men, who were all pointing umbrellas at them. They weren't ordinary umbrellas, Harley knew that from last time. They all contained nasty surprises: knives, guns, poisons, if you could think of it, Cobblepot could put it into an umbrella. Selina was right though, from the outside they didn't look the least bit threatening.

Penguin grinned, clicking his fingers. His men lowered the weapons, and a couple stepped aside so the small, fat man could take a seat on the couch opposite them.

"Bane is a threat to us all," Selina said, her voice smooth as butter. "You might hate Harley, probably with good reason, and let me tell you: the clown is a real dick, but surely a man like you understands that we can't let Bane get what he wants."

She was good, already Harley could see Cobblepot softening a little. Harley knew her best option here was to keep quiet and let Selina control this one.

"What exactly are you asking for?" Cobblepot asked, "Not that I'm agreeing mind you."

"Of course," Selina purred. "All we want is to know that when the time comes, you'll fight with us, against Bane. And one other thing."

Cobblepot looked intrigued. "What else?"

Selina leaned forwards, and Harley realised that at some point she had stealthily lowered the zip on her Catwoman outfit, giving Cobblepot a clear view of her merchandise

 _And they think I'm the slutty one!_

Selina pretended not to notice Cobblepot's roaming eyes, continuing her pitch. "Your men are everywhere, they hear everything, they know everything. We want you to share that information with us."

Cobblepot considered for a moment. "We'll fight Bane. Not because Joker wants us to, but because I'll be damned if I'm letting that maniac blow me and my men to kingdom come just because he's crazy. We were going to do it soon, but we can wait. It'll be good to know we have back-up. But the information? That'll cost you."

"How much?" Harley asked, and Cobblepot shot her a scowl, as if he had forgotten she was there.

"Money don't mean anything to us. I've got enough of that, and it's practically worthless in Gotham now. No, what I want is something I know Joker can provide."

"Insanity?" Selina suggested, and the two of them laughed as if she'd made some kind of wry, political observation . Harley rolled her eyes.

"Very good," Cobblepot chuckled. "No, something he seems to have in limitless supply, and something my club is severely lacking."

* * *

"Wait, how many dancers am I losing?" Joker raised an eyebrow, clearly less than impressed with the deal Harley and Selina had made.

"Don't think of it as losing dancers," Harley replied airily, waving her hand as she took a seat beside him at the bar. "Think of it as gaining Penguin."

"Yeah he'll look great wrapped around a pole," Joker drawled, rolling his eyes.

"He wants pretty girls in his club," Harley sighed playfully. "It's almost sweet."

"Almost," Selina added, moving behind the bar to pour herself a drink.

"Oh please, help yourself," Joker drawled sarcastically. Selina grinned, blowing him a kiss.

"Can I have one of those?" Harley looked up, Crane was approaching, looking exhausted. He'd gone to Bane's courthouse today, hours ago.

"Have you only just finished?" Harley asked, looking at the time. It was almost midnight.

"Indeed, Bane has a lot of enemies it seems."

"Anything useful?" Joker asked.

Crane shook his head. "Businessmen, politicians. I didn't see Bane. I'll be there again tomorrow."

"You want to stay here?"

Harley raised an eyebrow, was Joker being charitable? To Crane? Crane shook his head, downed his drink, and passed the glass back to Selina for a refill. His cellphone rang, and he looked at it skeptically. "Excuse me," he muttered, walking away.

"Why did you ask if he wanted to stay here?" Harley asked Joker quietly.

"His place burned down."

"What?" Harley couldn't believe it. Why hadn't Crane mentioned it?

Joker shrugged. "This is the new Gotham."

Crane reappeared. "I'm going, a friend of mine has a few items we might find useful. I'll let you know tomorrow."

"Remember to sleep," Selina added, almost kindly. Crane nodded, then headed back towards the door.

"So who's next?" Selina asked, turning to Joker.

Harley had forgotten all about the fact that she might need someone else, so busy congratulating herself on her success thus far. She realised Joker was grinning.

"Who is it?" She asked.

"You're gonna love this one."

* * *

Harley shivered, wishing she'd worn a jacket. The night was cold, and an icy wind whipped against her cheeks. When she exhaled, her breath lingered in the air in front of her.

"Remind me again why this is a good idea?" Crane sounded nervous. Harley didn't blame him: it didn't look great from where she was standing either. They were in the most dangerous area of Gotham (which was saying something when you thought about how terrible Gotham was in general these days), standing in front of an abandoned factory. It used to make car parts, but the sign over the large double doors was so thick with plant life that it could no longer be read. In fact, the building itself was green, coated in ivy and vines which also broke out of every window and crack in the walls. The plant life was beginning to creep to the buildings on either side too, which were also abandoned.

Harley wet her lips, more than a little nervous. "Ivy's powerful."

"Oh I can see that."

"So we need her on side. If Bane gets to her first, she could do all kinds of damage."

"Didn't she try to kill you?"

"Only once, and she was mad. I think she's had time to cool off by now."

"Well I'm _so_ glad to be able to come along."

Harley rolled her eyes, she wasn't exactly thrilled about him being here either. Yes, they'd spoken since their break up (was it a break-up? Were they ever technically a couple? The words had never been spoken, though that didn't mean much), but she didn't yet feel like they were amicable enough to be spending long periods of time together. But she didn't have much of a choice. Joker wouldn't hear of her going alone, but she couldn't exactly take him along (Ivy would definitely kill her if she showed up with Joker in tow. Plus he'd almost certainly say something horribly offensive). She couldn't bring Selina, because she had promised to be the one to bring the girls to Penguin and finalise the deal. The only one left was Crane. He'd spent the day at Bane's courthouse, and she had cornered him when he came back to the club at midnight.

They headed up the steps and opened the factory door. It was stiff, but Harley could widen it enough for both Crane and herself to step inside. "Thank you for coming," she muttered, looking around the dark building. Crane clicked on a torch beside her.

"It's not like I have anything else to do," Crane shrugged. "Like sleep. Or eat. Or do literally anything else."

Harley smiled, then continued, "I needed someone to come with me, besides, you're bringing the thing we're bribing her with. She won't trust me, you bring legitimacy. And it's not like I could bring Joker, she'd kill him."

"And wouldn't that be just dreadful?" Crane replied sarcastically, looking around the building with his usual expression of smug self-importance. "This is delightful."

Harley had to agree with his sarcasm. The whole building mirrored the outside: thick with plant life, so much so that it was hard to even tell you were inside. The air was thick and heavy, and despite how cold she had just been, Harley was now sweating. There was also a feint undertow of manure in the air, almost completely covered by the smell of exotic flowers. Crane loosened his tie beside her. A thick layer of dust coated everything not already overtaken by plants, which was at least helpful in muffling their footsteps.

"Don't pretend you want Joker dead," Harley countered, stepping over a particularly thick vine which she was sure had just moved closer to them. "You two are practically best friends now."

Crane gave her a hard stare, that almost made her laugh it was so pointed. "I hardly think so."

"He offered you a place to stay, and hey," she slapped him gently across the chest. "Why didn't you tell me your place burned down?"

Crane shrugged, "It was just a building. It didn't matter."

"What about all your stuff?"

"I'll get new stuff."

"What about my stuff?"

Crane looked confused. "What stuff?"

"I had things at your place."

"Like what?"

"I dunno, junk I couldn't be bothered to move. Some bras, a few hair clips," she thought for a moment. "Some tampons?"

Crane gave her his most sardonic look. "Sorry, I should have fought the blaze to retrieve such treasured possessions."

Harley smiled, "Apology accepted."

They continued walking on through the factory in a comfortable silence. Harley had her bat, but was hoping she wouldn't need to use it. Crane carried his briefcase. They definitely looked an odd pairing: particularly with him in his formal three button suit, and her in a miniskirt, cropped top, and sneaker-heels.

"Where do you think she will be?" Crane asked.

Harley nodded towards some large doors at the end of the hall, where all the vines seemed to be sprouting from. "In there."

"Should we call out?"

Harley shook her head. "She'll already know we're here. The fact she hasn't tried to kill us already is comforting."

"Great."

Harley went first, opening the doors and stepping inside. The room was so hot, it was like stepping into a greenhouse in the middle of summer. More plants: growing over every available surface. Harley could see Poison Ivy, she was sitting on the floor in the middle of the room, surrounded by a ring of flowers that looked very much like roses, but were larger, and in a multitude of colours. She looked up at her two guests, but didn't get to her feet.

"That's close enough," she spoke in her usual husky voice. "Why are you here, Harley?"

"I came to see you."

Ivy stroked one of the flowers in front of her, was it swaying? There was no breeze. These plants always freaked Harley out.

"Why?" Ivy asked. "Why did you come to see me?"

"I need your help."

Ivy let out a single laugh, getting to her feet. She didn't approach Harley and Crane, however, instead choosing to walk to the other side of the room towards a different congregation of flowers. "Do you remember what I said to you when you came back to Arkham?"

"Yes, you said you'd kill me if you got the chance."

"And still you came here? Let me guess, _Joker_ sent you." She said his name as if he was a particularly bad smell.

"Yes."

Ivy shook her head, her beautiful red hair bobbing gently as she did so. "You are a fool to dance to his tune after all this time."

"Oh Ivy, you know I'll dance to anything."

Ivy shook her head again, more vigorously. "No, you're just a puppet, waiting for Joker to pull your strings."

Crane let out a short laugh, he clearly agreed with Ivy's opinion. Harley gave him a cold look, then took a step forward. "We're here about Bane."

Ivy smiled, stroking a flower beside her and answering dreamily. "I like Bane. He broke me out of Arkham. He even said I could have this street for my babies. Little does he know it won't be enough for long. They're getting stronger."

Harley looked around at the plants: that she could certainly believe. "I can help them get even stronger," she began, heart racing, already unsure how this would play out.

Ivy's eyes blazed, her head snapping in Harley's direction, though still keeping her distance. "I remember the last time your boyfriend tried to do that." Her plants began to move now, and though Harley knew they weren't as powerful without the Titan that used to be flowing through them, she was still pretty sure they could cause some serious damage. As if on cue, vines wrapped themselves around Harley, lifting her high into the air.

"Ivy!" Harley protested, fighting against them but it was for nothing. Her baseball bat was left on the floor as she watched Ivy close in on Crane.

"Give me one reason I shouldn't hoist you up there with your friend," she hissed to him.

Crane opened his case. "I can give you two." Harley watched as Ivy looked at the contents. Crane continued. "This is an improved version of the Titan formula, designed and modified by myself. It is safe, and will do nothing more than make your plants stronger."

"Why should I trust you?" Ivy asked.

"Because we both know that if I'm lying, your plants will rip me to shreds."

"You said there were two reasons I shouldn't string you up. What's the other one?"

"The other one?" Crane grinned. "The other reason is the poisonous toxin in this container. The trigger, is here." He raised his hand, where he held a small trigger. "One press and I release it. It would kill all of your plants, and turn you into a quivering mess."

Ivy scowled for a moment, then a smile slipped across her lips. "Clever."

"Do we have a deal?"

Ivy looked up at Harley. "I suppose you want me to bring her down?"

"It would help, you don't want the clown coming here."

"Oh I do."

Crane shook his head. "He's more dangerous than you think, don't be a fool."

Ivy rolled her eyes, but seconds later the vines holding Harley lowered her to the ground. Harley smiled when her feet touched the floor, and reached down to pick up her bat. "Always a pleasure, Ivy," she smiled.

"I'm sure."

* * *

It was late, but Harley couldn't sleep. She had been tossing and turning for hours. She sighed, pulling herself into a sitting position and putting her feet on the floor. Selina was sleeping soundly beside her. Harley got to her feet, deciding to go and get a glass of water. At least it would kill some time. She headed into the kitchen, not bothering to turn the light on. Moonlight drifted through the window, and Harley could vaguely hear the sounds from the club below. It never closed: though it would probably be relatively empty now. She poured herself a glass of water, absentmindedly running her finger around the wet rim of the glass.

There was a sound behind her. Harley turned to see a figure in the doorway to Joker's room. Though she couldn't see his face in the darkness, she knew it was him. She would be able to tell him from a thousand other men just by his silhouette. Or by touch, but that was off the cards.

Probably.

She could see just enough in the darkness to know that he was shirtless, standing in a pair of loose fitting pants. A familiar fluttering between her legs. She hated herself for what he did to her without even trying.

He said nothing, moving further into the darkness towards her. He stepped into her personal space, reminding Harley just how much smaller than him she was. She could hear him breathing, but he still wouldn't speak, just standing in front of her. Slowly, he raised a hand, placing it gently on the side of her face.

"Forgive me." It was an order, not a request, though his voice was little more than a breath.

"I want to," Harley whispered. "I'm scared."

Joker sighed, his hand still on the side of her face. "I'm not good at waiting."

Harley narrowed her gaze a little. "Maybe it's good for you, maybe you deserve it."

"So this is my punishment?" He asked, a slightly amused tone to his voice as he slowly took his hand away.

"Maybe."

"It feels like a game."

Harley shrugged. "Maybe it's that too."

"I always win at games."

"I'm sure. Do you think you'll win this one?"

"I _know_ I will."

Harley took a step back, unsure if he could see the smile on her face. She hoped not. "Maybe I won't let you."

"Maybe I'll change the rules."

This was new, and she couldn't help but be intrigued. "How?"

"I'm going to stop asking."

"Ok?"

"You're going to be the one asking."

Harley raised an eyebrow, a pointless exercise in the dark, but she did it nonetheless. "I'm going to be asking _you_ to take _me_ back? Why would I do that?"

"You're in control."

 _He's giving up his power? He's never done that._

"What if I never ask?"

"I think you will." And with that, he turned and headed back to his room. Closing the door quietly.

 _He hasn't given up his power._

 _He's going to be working even harder._

 _He's going to force me to beg him. I'm going to feel like it's my choice, but really it'll be his._

But for some reason, Harley couldn't fight the smile creeping across her face.

 _You wanna play, Joker? That's fine, we can play._


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys, I hope you like the chapter. It's way shorter than thought it was, but I didn't want to try and stretch it out, as it covered all the stuff I wanted, and when I added more it just felt like I was padding it out for no reason - it didn't add anything! The next one is way longer though, I promise!**

 **I'm off work for a week because I have surgery on Tuesday. Depending on my recovery time it could mean loads of extra chapters because I'll be so bored in bed, or very little writing because I'm in so much pain. Cross your fingers for the former.**

 **Once again, thank you all so much for your kind words. It's really so touching to read your lovely comments on this story, and the first one. What a lovely community we have here :)**

 **I used a couple of Joker/Harley quotes in here that I came across online. I'm not sure if they were from the comics or just made up by people and added to pictures, but they were cool, so they're in the chapter. Credit to the mysterious writers!**

* * *

Harley dressed hurriedly the next morning. It had taken her hours to get to sleep, then she had overslept and now she was now late. She put on a pair of tight black pants, a t-shirt with a picture of a drunk unicorn on the front, and swept her hair up into her signature pigtails. She applied heavy eye-make up, red lipstick, and put on a pair of bright pink sneakers.

Joker, Selina, and Crane were all in the living room when she came in.

"Finally," Selina remarked. "You sleep the sleep of the dead."

"Tell me about it," Crane muttered, which earned him a death stare from Joker. Crane either didn't notice, or pretended not to, but when he lifted his coffee mug to his lips there was definitely a smile playing on his lips. Harley rolled her eyes, she could do without the two of them trying to out-dick each other today.

"Can we get started now?" Selina asked Joker. He nodded, taking a seat on the couch. Crane moved to an armchair, and Selina stayed standing. Harley sat on the counter of the breakfast bar.

"Where are we at?" She asked.

"Dent's men, combined with Penguin's, have created a considerable force," Crane began. "At least enough to give Bane pause."

"It's not enough," Joker muttered.

Crane continued. "That, alongside the support of Ivy's mutated plants, my fear toxin, and Joker's own men should-"

"It's not enough." Joker interrupted, massaging his temples. "Bane has half the scum in Gotham on his side. We need more."

"More scum? Who else is there?" Harley asked.

Joker sighed, lowering his hands. "The next one is going to be interesting." He looked around the room. "It will need all of us."

* * *

"Just so this is on the record, I hate you," Selina groaned, looking down at her ruined shoes, now dripping with brown water. She shot Harley a death stare, but Harley wasn't exactly having the time of her life either. She, Selina, Joker, and Crane were down in the sewers beneath Gotham. They were there for Croc. Since escaping Arkham he'd disappeared down below ground; the only evidence of his existence being the mangled body parts washing out into the river. Harley knew this was a terrible idea. Selina knew this was a terrible idea. Crane knew this was a terrible idea. But for some reason Joker didn't seem to think there would be any problem with heading down into the disguising sewers with nothing but a bag of meat and a couple of guns.

"This feels really stupid," Harley groaned. Something dripped onto her ear, and she wiped it off hastily, mentally cursing the day she ever agreed to be Joker's psychiatrist.

 _If I hadn't said yes, I'd never be down in this very literal shithole._

 _Yes, but then you wouldn't have-_

 _Shut up._

"Shhh," Joker hissed. Something was splashing not too far away. The tunnel opened up, and they could see a river of water beyond a nearby railing. The group moved closer, but it was a false alarm. Just some fish eating something rotten; something that looked an awful lot like a dead cat.

"Lovely," muttered, wiping her hand on her dress after absentmindedly touching the wall. She looked down at the green smear on her beautiful black body-con, and shot Harley another death stare. Harley threw one right back, which said: "This isn't my fault!" Selina rolled her eyes but said nothing.

The air was thick and rancid, and the only light came from the emergency lamps lining the slimy, green walls. Most didn't work. "How long are we gonna stay down here?" Harley asked.

"We should split up," Joker said, ignoring her question.

"Well that sounds like the worst idea ever," Crane replied sarcastically. Selina nodded. Harley couldn't help but agree, biting her lip nervously.

"We should stay together," She began, "Splitting up is suicide."

Joker shook his head. "Unless you want to spend the rest of the night down here, we need to find a way to cover more ground."

Selina looked around, Harley could see she definitely didn't want to spend any longer down there than she needed to, but splitting up? That sounded like the finale of a terrible horror movie.

"We should go in pairs," Harley suggested. "It'll be safer than going alone."

"I've got Harley," Selina said immediately, but Joker shook his head.

"No, one of you with Crane, the other one with me-"

"Shotgun Crane," Selina interrupted. Harley rolled her eyes, but Selina had already grabbed Crane by the arm and pulled him off, somewhat reluctantly, in the opposite direction.

"If I die down here, I'm fucking haunting you both." Selina called back as they left. "And you're buying me new shoes!" The two of them disappeared around the corner, leaving Harley and Joker alone. Harley looked in the direction of the other passage, quite possibly darker and more miserable looking than the one Selina and Crane had chosen.

"Looks like it's you and me, baby," Joker grinned.

"Great," Harley replied sarcastically. She fell into step beside Joker, as they made their way deeper into the sewers. Harley shivered, rubbing her hands along her bare arms, fingertips skimming the goose flesh. Joker sighed, pulling off his jacket. Harley shook her head, but he ignored her (of course), putting the jacket over her shoulders. He said nothing, continuing on down the narrow tunnel. Harley absentmindedly breathed in the familiar, fresh smell of Joker's cologne. Why did he have to smell so good? She stole a glance at him, now walking a few steps ahead of her. He was wearing a dark shirt, unbuttoned at the top. She remembered all the times she had ripped the clothes off his body, run her tongue along his muscular chest-

"What are you thinking about?" Joker asked.

"Nothing," Harley replied.

 _That was way too quick, now you look suspicious!_

She tried to take the focus off of herself. "What are you thinking about?"

"You."

Harley raised an eyebrow. "What about me?"

"I've known you for…I don't know, what feels like forever. But you still surprise me every day."

"How so?"

"I don't know why you agreed to come down here. Why you didn't go looking for the Batman the second everything went to hell up there." He nodded upwards.

Harley was confused. "Batman's gone, Bane took him."

Joker waved his hand airily. "Oh come on, Harley, you're resourceful. You could probably track him down in less than two days."

Harley didn't try to keep the irritation out of her voice. "What's your point?"

"My point is, you fancy yourself as one of the good guys: a little quirky perhaps, but generally a good person… So why are you holed up with the villains?"

"I'm confused, are you saying I'm not a good person? Or that I am but I just suck at it?"

Joker grinned. "I have no idea."

"Maybe I'm playing the long game," she countered.

"Oh really?" Joker raised an eyebrow, turning to face her as he walked backwards. "What's the goal?"

Harley toyed with the baseball bat in her hands. "Maybe I wanted to get you down here, away from Jonny and your boys, so I could smash your pretty face in?"

His grin widened. "You think I'm pretty?"

Harley rolled her eyes. "You think I'm so predictable. Maybe I'm over you. Maybe I brought you down here to kill you." Her eyes blazed, but she had to bite her lip in order to fight the smile threatening to creeping across it. Joker stopped, pulling out his gun. Harley's heart began to race, but she tried to hold her composure. He stepped closer to her, pressing the gun into her hand and lifting it to his head. "Well what are you waiting for then?" He purred. His finger rested on top of hers on the trigger, and she felt him exert a little force.

"Don't," she gasped, and his grin widened. He relaxed his finger, leaning a little closer. When he spoke, his voice was just a whisper.

"Don't try to play crazy with me, I'm a lot better at it." He was close, close enough to kiss, but he made no motion to do this, and she remembered the promise he made.

 _He wants me to beg him._

 _I have more control than that!_

 _Probably._

"You're beautiful when you're angry, and even more when you're scared." His breath was warm on her face.

"I'm not scared."

Joker said nothing, simply stepping back and continuing on through the sewer as if nothing had happened. Harley shook her head, following him. She held onto the jacket a little tighter.

* * *

They approached a railing, the walkway they had been heading down had ended, and behind the barrier was a river of flowing, green-brown water. Harley wrinkled her nose in disgust. Joker moved towards the metal railing, leaning over. He cocked his head, then turned to Harley. "Look at this," he said, gesturing for her to come over.

"What is it?"

"Something…unexpected."

Harley moved closer, leaning on the railing and looking in the direction Joker was pointing. All she could see was the disgusting water. "I don't see-" she was cut off when he pushed her roughly, making her lose her balance completely and almost go head first over the railing. But he grabbed hold of her at the last minute, holding her steady. She spun around to face him, furious, even more so when she saw the smile on his face. She pushed roughly against his chest, but he held her firmly.

"You sick fuck!"

"I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure." He flashed her a winning smile and a wink.

Harley couldn't help it, she let out an exasperated laugh. "I could've fucking drowned!" She hit him again, though with less force.

"I'd never let that happen."

"I can't swim."

"I know."

She sighed. "You know everything."

"Only about you."

"That's creepy."

"It's only because I care."

Harley raised an eyebrow. "And I should feel flattered by that?"

Joker shrugged. "If I like you then you're one of a kind, because I fucking hate everyone."

She cocked her head to one side. "Not everyone. You like Jonny."

Joker thought for a moment. "Jonny's useful, but we're not friends."

"What about Crane? You two seem to be pretty close at the moment."

Joker grinned, "You don't like it, do you?"

"No," Harley admitted. "It makes me uncomfortable."

"I can kill him if it will make you happier, but I seem to recall you expressly forbidding me from doing it."

Harley shook her head. "Is there ever a middle ground with you? Just because I don't like the two of you being friends, doesn't mean the next step is to kill him."

Joker regarded her thoughtfully, as if the idea had never occurred to him. But they didn't have much time to discuss it, because they were interrupted by the sound of screaming. The two of them turned to see Selina and Crane running at full speed towards them. Harley was about to ask what the hell was going on, when she saw the last thing she wanted to see. Killer Croc was close behind the pair, his mouth open in a hungry grin, his jagged teeth glinting even in the poor light down there.

Joker sighed, pulling out his gun, and firing three shots at Croc. He stepped in front of Harley, and when Selina and Crane arrived they stood beside her. Croc had slowed, walking now towards the group. He seemed to register Joker for the first time, and slowed to a halt.

"You almost hit me," Crane panted, glaring at the back of Joker's head.

"Sorry," Joker replied lazily.

"You think you can hurt me with that pea shooter?" Croc laughed, his rasping voice causing Harley to flash back to their one session together back when she was a Doctor at Arkham. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up, and she felt herself subconsciously moving a little closer to Joker. His eyes flicked towards her, but he said nothing. For a moment no one spoke, the only sounds being that of the rushing water behind them, and Crane and Selina's gasping breaths beside Harley.

"Why have you come here?" Croc asked, surveying the group hungrily.

"For you," Joker replied simply.

Croc let out a single, snarling laugh. "You want to die, clown? Because I'm sure there are easier ways to commit suicide. Or did you think you could capture me? A new pet for your collection? Either way, you won't be walking out of here."

"Bane's planning to blow the whole city," Harley interrupted, not liking the grin on Joker's lips. "He'll kill us all unless we stop him: that means you too. We want you to help us."

Croc laughed again, though less heartily. "Why would I do that?"

Crane's sarcastic voice came from her right. "Uh, because of the bomb? The one she just told you about?"

"I'm getting bored," Joker sighed, aiming the gun a little higher. "Mr Croc, you're going to help us because if you don't I'll get my boys to pour acid into your precious sewer and burn you out."

"You think I'm scared of you, clown?" Croc asked, but Harley was surprised to discover that he actually sounded like he might be.

"Tick tock, Croc, what's it gonna be?" Joker asked, pulling the gun back a little.

Croc took an eternity to reply, in which time Harley was sure her heart must've beat at least a thousand times, but finally he growled his response. "What do I have to do?"

Joker grinned. "Exactly what you're good at: when the time comes we want you to come up to the city and eat people. Bane's people."

A grin spread across Croc's reptilian lips. "Now you're speaking my language."

"We'll be in touch," Joker said, taking hold of Harley's hand and pulling her towards the monster. She tried to fight the pounding in her chest (it was nothing to do with Joker, she told herself, just being so close to Croc) and soon they passed the beast, with Crane and Selina close behind.

"That reminds me," Joker muttered thoughtfully, "I need to get me some new shoes."

There was a definite growl from behind them, but Croc made no attempt to follow.

"Don't do that," Harley whispered, but Joker just smiled, still making no attempt to let go of her hand.

* * *

They got back to the club without any drama (or without being eaten by a giant crocodile-man, which was a plus) and the group headed upstairs. It was late, but no one wanted to sleep, they were all too hyped from the deal with Croc.

"Do you think he'll stick to his word?" Selina asked, sitting at the kitchen island and opening a bag of potato chips.

"You know, you're welcome to buy your own food," Joker muttered, but Selina just grinned.

"He won't keep his word," Crane replied.

"Then why did he let us go?" Selina asked.

"Because he's scared of Joker," Crane answered. "But that doesn't mean he'll play nice."

Harley looked at Joker, standing by the fridge. "Why is he scared of you?"

Joker shrugged.

"Do you think he'll actually help?"

Joker turned, nodding in Crane's direction. "Crane's right. He'll try to eat us."

"So we're no better off?" Selina sighed.

Joker shrugged again, "He'll probably take out a few of Bane's guys first."

Selina's tone was sarcastic, "Well that's comforting." She turned to Harley. "Do we have anyone else?"

"Just one," Harley replied. She remembered this one: she was dreading it. "Riddler."

Selina rolled her eyes. "I hate that guy, he's such a freak." Her eyes darted to Joker. "Well, compared to most people."

Joker grinned, pressing his hand to his chest, "You wound me."

"Will you come with me?" Harley asked Selina. "I don't want to go alone."

Selina shook her head. "Sorry, doll, the last time I encountered Edward Nigma I stole from him, he tried to kill me, I kicked him where it hurt, then stole some more. Long story short, he hates me and wants me dead. I can't imagine I'd be much help. What about Creepy Crane?"

Crane gave her a cold look. "Charming, I'll never get tired of that."

"Will you come with me?" Harley asked.

"I can't, I'm at Bane's courthouse over the next few days. Besides, Riddler is known to be a bit of a gossip, and I can't afford to have my cover blown."

Harley nodded, that made sense. "Well, I guess I could go-" her eyes met Joker's, he was grinning.

"No," she said firmly.

"Come on, baby, you said yourself you need a hand."

"I feel like you and I have spent enough time together recently."

But Joker wasn't hearing any of it, without saying another word she knew he had won. Like it or not, the two of them would be trying to convince Riddler to join them. She would be going with the craziest guy in Gotham to the base of the second craziest.

 _Great._


	11. Chapter 11

**Hi everyone, thanks for the great feedback on the last chapter. I hope you like this one: get ready for lots of Joker & Harley chit chat! **

**My surgery went well, though they found evidence of something I didn't want, so I'm a little bummed out. But my husband keeps me focused on the positives, so we'll just keep going :) An extra thanks to those of you who wished me luck, that was very kind of you x**

* * *

Harley and Joker walked side by side towards Riddler's hideout. The night was cold, ominous clouds gathered overhead. Harley had, for once, dressed moderately appropriately. Her tight black pants and long sleeved shirt at least kept her from feeling so much of the cold. Sure, she didn't have a coat, but it was progress.

"You don't wear the Harlequin outfit anymore," Joker remarked.

Harley tried to remember where he would've seen her wearing it: it was after they broke up that she had started. But that didn't matter, he'd been watching her since she left anyway, and besides, he knew everything. She shrugged, "It was when I was trying to cover up who I was. I didn't want anyone to know. Now I don't care."

"Why would it matter if anyone knew?"

"I didn't exactly have anyone to look out for me," Harley replied pointedly. "It was for my own protection."

"You can take care of yourself."

Harley didn't want to argue with that. Joker was probably right, as always. But she hated that about him, so she decided to push it a little.

"Besides, I didn't want Bruce to find out."

That did it, Joker gritted his teeth a little as he walked, clearly unaware he was even doing it. Harley grinned, continuing in a casual voice. "I didn't want to put him off, he's such a good guy, you know?"

"Is that why you dropped him for Crane?"

Ouch. That stung. She still felt bad about her treatment of Bruce, and Joker, as always, knew exactly how to push her buttons. Still, it was sort of her fault for bringing it up in the first place. Harley scowled. "I guess I just felt like playing the field, you know, since I was kicked out."

Joker didn't respond to that, but it didn't matter, because they had arrived. Riddler's base was in a huge factory building, not dissimilar to the one Ivy had taken over, minus the plant life of course. It was dark: all windows had been boarded up, and there was a huge chain around the front door, with a heavy padlock securing it in place.

"This looks…inviting," Harley muttered.

Joker flashed her a grin, heading towards the large double doors. "Come on, baby, this'll be fun."

"I doubt it," she sighed, following. Joker leaned a little closer, his voice almost a whisper.

"You scared?"

"No."

"You wanna hold my hand?"

Harley scowled. "No. I'm fine."

"Ouch." Joker pulled a hurt face, as if wounded by her words.

"I can handle myself," Harley continued. "I don't need you to look after me."

Joker looked as though he wasn't sure how to respond, but as usual he kept his composure. He moved towards the door, fingering the chain thoughtfully.

"Are you sure he's in there?" Harley asked doubtfully. "It's locked from the outside."

"He's in there."

"How are we going to get in?"

"We knock."

Harley raised an eyebrow, "I don't think that's-"

But it didn't matter, because Joker had already pulled out his gun and shot the lock off the chain. He wrenched the chain off, and it snaked to the ground with a heavy clatter. Joker pulled the door open, calling playfully inside: "Knock knock!"

Harley bit her lip to stop herself smiling. Joker headed through the door, not bothering to hold it open for her. She rolled her eyes, though a little pleased that her comment about not needing him had clearly stuck in his mind, and then followed.

They stepped into a huge room, but Harley barely had a moment to register it, because suddenly the lights went out, and the two of them were cloaked in darkness. Harley instinctively reached for Joker, grasping his arm tightly, digging her nails into his flesh. She would scold herself for it later.

A large television screen came to life in front of them, and there was the face of Edward Nigma - aka the Riddler - wearing his signature mask and green bowler hat. He grinned, as if he could see them through the screen (which it turned out he could).

"Greetings clowns," Riddler said in his sing-song voice. "Pleasure to see you in my little abode."

Joker said nothing, though made no effort to dislodge Harley's nails from his skin.

"I know why you're here," Riddler continued. "Just like I know everything about both of you. But before I even consider listening to your requests, you have to prove yourselves worthy." A light came on at the far side of the room, illuminating a single door. "Head on inside, and see if you can solve all of the riddles. Only then will you stand even the smallest chance of meeting with me. But let me warn you-"

"Got it," Joker interrupted, waving his arm lazily and heading towards the door. Harley let go of him, but followed closely behind. They stepped through the doors into a small room. It was empty inside apart from a single table in the middle, with a cell phone sitting on top. There was another door at the other side of the room. The place was lit with a single, swinging light – just a bulb with no shade over it. Harley looked around, about to ask what Joker thought they were supposed to do, when the phone rang. Joker picked it up and hit the answer button. He put it on speaker so Harley could hear.

"You know, it's rude to interrupt," Riddler said, referencing the conversation Joker had just walked out of. Joker rolled his eyes at Harley, but said nothing. Riddler continued, "An easy one to start you off: what is the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of every end and the end of every race?"

"The letter e." Joker answered before Harley had even finished processing the clue. His tone was almost bored. She felt her mouth drop open a little bit. Riddler seemed equally surprised, as there was a long pause before he replied.

"Yes. Well done. Go on."

Joker grinned, ending the call and heading towards the door.

"How did you know that?" Harley asked, running to catch up.

"You think I can't be good at riddles because I'm crazy?"

Harley shrugged. "I don't know, I just, I guess I thought they'd be too…" she trailed off, unsure where to go with her point. Unfortunately, Joker was always adept at reading her mind.

"Too logical?"

Harley nodded, a little embarrassed. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Happy to surprise you."

"You always surprise me," Harley admitted, as they opened the next door.

Another room, similar to the last. Empty aside from a small table. Atop the table was a piece of paper, and Harley moved closer, picking it up. She read the clue aloud. "What is always on its way here, but never arrives?"

The phone rang, but as Joker made to answer, Harley grabbed it. "Tomorrow!" She said triumphantly.

"Correct," came Riddler's voice, a slight undertone of amusement. "The next door is unlocked," he said, before hanging up.

"Well done," Joker said.

"Did I surprise you?" Harley asked.

He shook his head. "No."

For some reason Harley felt guilty.

* * *

The next room was a surprise. Piled up over every available surface were photographs: hundreds and hundreds of photographs: spilling from boxes, piling on the floor, and covering every inch of the three large tables.

"This is different," Harley muttered. She looked up at the wall, where there was a message written in thick black paint. "Gotham's greatest family towers over the city." She thought for a moment. "What the hell are we supposed to do with that?"

Joker smiled, "You're a smart girl, figure it out."

Harley rolled her eyes, "So I take it that you already know?"

"I know we need to find the photo he's talking about, and show it to that camera," Joker said, pointing to a security camera at the other side of the room, which Harley had yet to notice.

"And you know which photo?"

Joker nodded. "I have an idea of what I'm looking for."

Harley thought for a moment, turning away, and beginning to pace around the room. "Gotham's greatest family," she repeated. "Gotham's greatest family…" Something clicked, "The Wayne's! They poured money into Gotham, built hospitals, public transport… I'd say they were Gotham's greatest family, or at least I can understand why someone else might think they were."

"Keep going," Joker pressed.

Harley bit her lip. "Gotham's greatest family towers over the city…Wayne Tower! He wants a picture of Wayne Tower!"

"That's my girl," Joker grinned. "Now we need to find it."

Harley looked at the piles of photos. "Well, if anyone's going to be good at sifting through hundreds of creepy photos it'll be you."

"Ha. Ha," Joker replied sarcastically.

Harley moved away, getting to work. The photos were so varied: families, landscapes, buildings, animals, children, cars. And there were so many!

"This is going to take forever," she groaned.

"We could play a game?" Joker suggested.

"What kind of game?"

"Whoever finds it first gets a reward."

Harley raised an eyebrow. "What reward?"

"Whatever they want." Something in Joker's eyes made Harley's insides squirm a little, though she fought hard to hide it. "Deal," she grinned. She turned back to the table, picking up the pace, not caring about the photos that were dropping to the ground at her feet. She had to win, she couldn't let Joker beat her at this!

No luck. But she couldn't give up. Harley moved to another table, checking through all the photographs on there. Some dogs, a rose bush, an expensive car, two men holding hands, an expensive painting, some people at a party, there it was! Harley grabbed the photo of Wayne Tower, holding it up in the air triumphantly. She spun around, surprised to see Joker leaning against the wall. Had he even been looking?

"Got it!" Harley cried, moving to the camera and holding the photo up. Seconds later the phone rang, and Joker put it onto speaker. "Finally," came Riddler's voice in an over-dramatic tone. "I thought it was going to take you all night!" The door clicked open beside them, and Joker made to step through.

"Wait," Harley interrupted, tapping him on the arm. "My reward?"

Joker stopped. "Well?" He asked. "What do you want?"

Harley thought for a moment. "The truth."

"I always tell the truth."

She gave him her coldest look.

Joker grinned. "Ok, you'll have to be more specific. What exactly do you want to know?"

Harley hated what she was about to ask: hated herself for even caring. But she did care, and she had to know. "You told me that you slept with other women when we weren't together. Was that true?"

Joker raised an eyebrow, but his tone was playful. "I'm not sure you should be throwing stones from that particular glass house, Miss Quinn. Let's not forget about your little dalliance with the crow-man. And the Bat of course."

Harley scowled. "You know I didn't sleep with Bruce. And Crane? He was there when you treated me like shit – _let's not forget that._ And it's my reward, so you have to answer. I just want to know if it was true, that's all."

Joker didn't break eye contact, and suddenly she felt nervous. She wanted to know and she didn't want to know, all at the same time. Finally he spoke.

"No. It wasn't true."

It was like a huge weight had been lifted off her chest. Harley hadn't even known it was there until it was gone. "So…why did you say it?" She asked.

Joker shook his head. "One reward, one question. Win the next one and then ask your next question." He grinned, heading through the door into the next room.

* * *

Harley felt her mouth drop open when they stepped inside. This room was an exact replica of Warden Sharp's office in Arkham asylum. "Wow," Harley breathed, looking at the huge desk, the bookcases lining the walls, leaving only a few spaces for pictures and relics of super villains in glass cases.

"Sharp's office," Joker muttered.

"How do you know what it looked like?" Harley asked, then realised who she was talking to: even when Joker was a patient of the asylum he wasn't exactly 'tied down' by his incarceration. In fact, she was more than certain he spent less time in his cell than some of the non-maximum security patients.

The phone rang, and Joker answered. Riddler's voice filled the large room. "Greetings, there are several clues in this room, and only 20 minutes to answer them in. Here is the first: "How do you mask your feelings without losing control?"

"What do we do when we find it?" Harley asked.

"Take a picture with the camera on the phone."

Before Harley had a chance to respond, Joker was already heading over to the far side of the room. He held up the phone, snapped a picture of something, and pressed a few buttons. There was a pause, then Riddler's voice drifted out. It sounded like he was gritting his teeth.

"Yes. Very good."

Harley moved over, hanging up on the wall was the mask of the villain named Black Mask. That was quick, she would've taken longer than that, she was sure. Riddler spoke again.

"Our records show that a strange transfer request was made in this room."

He hung up before saying anything else, leaving Harley and Joker to look at each other, both wearing a similarly puzzled expression. Harley sighed, "Well, I guess it's time to start searching."

"Wait a minute."

She raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"I believe I won that one."

Harley wrinkled her nose. "There isn't really time-"

"Then I'll be quick." He grinned, and Harley couldn't help but be intrigued.

"Ok, what do you want?"

Joker's eyes glittered wickedly. "So many things."

"I'm sure."

"But right now, I'm curious. Why did you want to know whether I'd been with other women or not?"

Harley was confused. "What do you mean?"

"Well, if you're so much better off without me, why do you care who I share my bed with?"

Harley opened her mouth to answer, but wasn't sure exactly what to say. He was right: if she was so happy without him, why did she care? Of course she knew the answer: because she still loved him, but for some reason she couldn't bear to admit it. Not again.

But now time was passing, and Joker had been waiting too long for an answer.

"I just wanted to know," she answered lamely. Joker didn't believe her, she could see that straight away, but he didn't ask anything else. Harley turned, trying to busy herself by exploring the room a little more. She repeated the clue to herself, "Our records show that a strange transfer request was made in this room." She was trying to think about what the important words in the clue were. Joker was absentmindedly walking around, and Harley was reassured to realise he had no idea either.

"Our records show…our records show…" she muttered. She moved over to a nearby filing cabinet, and opened it. It was full to bursting with files. "This has to be what it's about," Harley said.

"Seems logical," Joker agreed, joining her.

Harley shook her head, "Uh uh, you check that one," she pointed at another cabinet on the other side of the desk. Joker rolled his eyes, then moved over. Harley began skimming through the files. All were real: or at least made to look so. She scowled when she saw a picture of herself, and pulled the file out.

"Ugh, creep," she muttered.

"Did you call me?" Joker asked, grinning.

"Cute, no. It's Riddler, he's got all this information on me. Some of it is true, some of it is completely made up. Listen to this: 'Miss Quinn presents as a dangerous schizophrenic, with an obsession with the Joker. She is without free will, and uses her sexuality to get what she wants. She has no moral compass, and limited levels of intelligence. Her favourite colour is lavender! Lavender! Bullshit"

"How insulting."

Harley put the file back in. "Lavender, what am I, eighty-five? What a joke."

Joker sniggered, and Harley continued to look through the files. She reached the end, the last one was Joker's own file. She lifted it out. "What pearls of wisdom do we think Riddler has about you?" Harley asked, opening the document.

Blank, completely empty.

Joker grinned, looking at it over her shoulder, "That looks pretty close to the original."

"Figures." Harley closed the door of the cabinet, turning to Joker, who had moved back to his own. "Any luck?"

He shook his head, "Though, to be honest, I'm not entirely certain what I'm looking for."

"What was the clue again?"

"Our records show that a strange transfer request was made in this room."

Harley marveled for a moment at Joker's memory, then thought. "Ok, I think we're right that it's about the records, it has to be in these documents somewhere."

"I agree."

"So what's the next part? A strange transfer request. Does that mean we have to look at all the transfer requests in each file? And see if any of them are strange? That'll take forever! How long do we have?"

Joker looked at the phone, and she remembered that though he wore a watch, it had no hands. Time meant nothing to the Joker. "Ten minutes."

"Fuck."

"We could if you wanted."

"Very funny." She thought about the clue again. "A strange transfer request. A _strange_ transfer request. I think 'strange' is the key part."

Joker looked like he was thinking, then something flashed in his eyes. "Hugo Strange. Look for the doctor names: Hugo Strange is what we're looking for."

Harley didn't ask any questions, there wasn't time. She opened the cabinet and began skimming the front of each file: beside the patient name was the name of the doctor.

"Here!" She yelled, holding up the file. Joker quickly took a picture, and seconds later the phone rang.

"I was worried you'd given up," Riddler laughed.

"Just get to the next clue, chuckles," Harley groaned. "I've got places to be."

"Indeed you have, but not just yet," he replied ominously. "Your last clue in this room: when is the time of a clock like the whistle of a train?"

Harley felt a grin spread across her lips. She knew this one. Sure enough, there was a clock (not working) on the wall above the desk. She climbed on top of the mahogany surface, took the clock down, and adjusted the hands. When she was finished, she put it back, holding out her hand for the phone. Joker gave it to her and she snapped the picture. She grinned, "the time of a clock is like the whistle of a train when it's two to two."

"How amusing," Joker's tone was sarcastic.

"You're just annoyed because it's not one of your terrible jokes."

The phone rang again. "Congratulations clowns. You've passed…level one."

Harley scowled. "What? No, we've done your little games, now you meet with us."

"I think you'll find that I won't. In fact, I'm not even here. If you want to talk to me, then you'll first need to discover my location. And here's the first clue: What is it that no man wants to have, but no man wants to lose?" He hung up, and Harley heard the door click open behind them. She sighed.

"This is going to be a long night."

* * *

Joker and Harley headed out of the building in silence. It was past midnight, and the clouds overhead looked even more threatening, though there was no sign of rain yet. "Where do you think we need to go?" She asked.

"First things first," Joker replied.

"What do you mean?"

"Our game. I believe I won one, and so did you."

Harley cocked her head to one side. "Ok."

"Ladies first."

Harley didn't need to think about it, she'd already asked him once anyway. "Why did you lie about sleeping with other women?"

"I wanted you to hate me."

"Why?"

He shook his head, "One question, baby."

"Oh come on! That's part of the same question, you have to tell me."

Joker considered it. "I told you to leave, but I knew you still loved me. I wanted you to hate me so you could move on."

"But you didn't want me to move on, you killed Robin just for dancing with me!"

Joker shrugged, "I didn't like his face."

Harley shook her head. "You're unbelievable."

"You've told me that before."

She rolled her eyes. "It's always about sex with you, isn't it?"

"That's definitely another question."

"Fine. Your turn."

If Joker thought about it, it was lightning fast, because he immediately asked: "Was Crane as good as me?"

"At what?" Harley was stalling, she knew exactly what he meant. And Joker knew it.

He grinned, "Come on, baby, you know what I mean. Did you have as much fun fucking him as you had with me?"

"I don't want to answer that."

"Tough." Joker moved a little closer, and Harley backed up until she was trapped between Joker's body and the wall behind her. "I already know the answer, trust me, but I want to hear you say it."

Harley stayed silent, and Joker gently ran one finger over her lips. "If you like, I could remind you. Right here. You just need to ask."

"That's not going to happen."

"We'll see." He smiled. "Tick tock, what's the answer?"

Harley sighed. "He was different."

"That's not what I asked."

"If you know the answer, why do you have to hear me say it?"

"It's not your turn to ask questions." He leaned even closer, one hand against the wall by her head. She was so sure he could hear her heart hammering, it felt like it was about to burst out of her chest. Why was her mouth so dry?

"No. It wasn't as much fun with him."

Joker grinned, stepping back. "Let's go."

"You know where we're going?"

"Of course."

* * *

They were at the courthouse. Not the one Dent was holed up in, thank goodness, and not Bane's one down town. No, this was a smaller one. Abandoned since Bane's takeover. Because the thing no man wanted, but no man wanted to lose was, of course, a lawsuit.

Joker got them inside with his usual grace (smashing the window with a rock), and soon they were in the dark building. Joker used his own cellphone as a torch, taking hold of Harley's hand. She made a feeble attempt to free herself, but he held on tightly, and she was secretly glad. She didn't like it in this place.

"Why do you fight it so much?" He asked, not with his usual confidence. In fact, he wasn't even looking at her, as if afraid of the answer.

"You know why. I'm scared."

"I won't ever do that to you again." He was speaking from the heart, that's why he wouldn't look at her, and somehow it made her more uncomfortable than when he was playing around.

"I still don't know if I can trust you. I feel like…" She trailed off, but Joker said nothing. He stopped walking, turning to face her, telling her without words to continue. She sighed. "I feel like you'll always love yourself more than you could love me."

Joker looked like he was about to speak, when Harley saw something flicker out of the corner of her eye. She turned, seeing a light come on in a room at the end of a corridor. She turned back to Joker. "Come on."

* * *

The room was small, with windows boarded up with huge planks of wood. Joker switched off the light on his cell, and the two of them stepped inside. Suddenly Riddler's voice rang out from a speaker on the wall.

"Good evening. Please close the door."

Joker looked doubtful, but did as asked. Harley noticed now that the door was heavy, reinforced. She didn't like where this was going.

"Listen carefully to your next clue: The more you take away from it, the larger it grows. What is it?"

Harley and Joker both looked at each other, neither knowing the answer. Riddler's voice continued. "This is an easy one, so I thought I'd make it more challenging: the room is currently filling with a poisonous gas, which will render you unconscious in two minutes, and dead in five. Solve the riddle, or die. Good luck." His voice was overly chipper, completely at odds with the situation.

"What?!" Harley yelled. Joker just rolled his eyes, as if he expected nothing less from Riddler. Harley ran for the door which, of course, was now shut tight. Joker put a hand on her shoulder. "That's not going to work."

"What was the clue?" Harley asked, her eyes frantic, already feeling a slight wooziness washing over her.

Joker's voice was calm. "The more you take away from it, the larger it grows. What is it?"

Harley thought, her mind whirring. Her Uncle had loved riddles: always testing her with them. She was good at solving them, she knew she could do this.

"The more you take away from it, the larger it grows. The more you take, the larger it grows. A hole! A hole gets bigger the more you take away!"

Joker grinned, "Good girl." He looked around, then moved over to the table in the middle of the room, coughing a little. He pushed the table over. Underneath it was a thin wooden pallet, which he pushed aside. There was a hole in the floor, definitely big enough for them to drop through. He held out his hand, and Harley took it. Joker lowered her carefully down, as far as he could, before letting go. Harley fell a couple of feet to the floor, then moved aside to make room for Joker. He dropped down, landing perfectly on his feet.

The lights in this room turned on. "Congratulations," came Riddler's slightly disappointed voice. "I shall have to try harder."

"What's the next clue?" Joker asked.

"Why is a woman in love like a welder?"

Joker nodded, taking Harley's hand. "Come on."

* * *

Harley couldn't have been happier to be back outside. She didn't like the turn Riddler's games were taking, and couldn't fight the feeling that wouldn't be the only time she'd be risking her life tonight. What would she do without Joker? He was so calm.

"How do you do it?" She asked, aware she was still holding his hand.

"Do what?"

"You never panic."

"What's the point?"

"It's not something most people can control."

Joker shrugged. "I'm not like most people."

Harley snorted, "That's true."

Joker smiled. "Anyway, I make that one win each: I knew where to go, you solved the riddle."

"Technically you found the hole."

"I'm willing to give that win to you."

Harley smiled, "What a gentleman."

"Would you like to go first?"

"No, you go ahead."

Joker thought for a moment. "I want a kiss."

Harley stopped walking, and Joker turned to face her. "That's not the game," she began. "I thought we were asking questions?"

Joker shook his head. "I said the reward could be anything the winner wanted. I want a kiss."

"What if I say no?"

"Why would you?"

"Maybe I don't want to."

"But you do."

 _He's right. Damnit._

Harley considered it. "Just one kiss. No tongue."

Joker rolled his eyes, "Where's the fun in that?"

"Agreed?"

He grinned, immediately taking her by the waist and pulling her against him. It felt so good to be against his strong body again, to feel his lips against hers, rough and eager. His hands held her in place, completely at his mercy, she couldn't leave even if she wanted to.

Which she didn't.

She drank in the smell of him, bathed in the feeling of his heart against her chest. The fluttering between her legs was like a thousand butterflies, and all she wanted was to stay like this forever. But of course, it had to end, and Joker finally released her.

Would her heart ever beat normally? She swallowed, trying to look like she hadn't enjoyed it, trying to look like she wasn't about to crack open because the love she felt for him was too large to be contained by her body alone.

"Your turn," he said, his grey eyes locked with hers.

"Why did you want to do that?' She asked, all other questions irrelevant.

"Because I love you. Because you belong to me. Because the thought of you being with anyone else makes me more crazy than I already am. Because walking beside you and not being able to do that whenever I want makes me feel like I'm going to snap in half. Because you're perfect." He stepped back. "All of the above, or choose your favourite."

"I'm not perfect."

Joker paused, looking like he was really contemplating this. "You're right, no one is perfect. But you're the perfect version of who you are. You're perfectly flawed, and flawlessly perfect."

"Those are contradictions."

"Does that matter?"

Harley smiled, and Joker turned, continuing on down the street. She sighed, this evening was really taking it out of her, and she couldn't help but think Joker's promise that she'd be the one begging him to take her back would be bang on the money.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hi guys, thanks for your lovely comments on the last chapter. I really hope you like this one, I really enjoyed writing it :)**

 **I was looking through some of the reviews on the first story, and remembered that sometimes when people left reviews, they made suggestions about scenes/moments they would like to see, and I tried to incorporate some of these into the stories. This was really nice, and if anyone wanted to see particular moments, or more of certain characters, please let me know. I've got some ideas about where I want the next few chapters to go, but it'd be lovely to include moments that any of you wanted to see too (and hopefully do them justice!).**

* * *

"Why is a woman in love like a welder? They both carry a torch." Harley nodded. "And we're at the torch factory. Great. Good one, Riddler."

Joker shrugged. "They can't all be winners."

The two of them followed the hand written signs on the walls, and found themselves in another room. There was a single table in the middle with a large knife on it. Harley felt her stomach drop: this was unlikely to be a riddle involving chopping vegetables. Joker looked at the knife curiously, picking it up and turning it over in his hands. It was around eight inches, and looked razor sharp. There was a scrap of paper underneath it, which Harley picked up and read aloud.

"Some have many, others few, physical or mental, before life is through."

She turned, looking at the knife in Joker's hand. "It's talking about scars, isn't it?"

Joker nodded.

"Do you think he wants us to…" her voice trailed off as the realisation hit.

"The fact that he hasn't said anything, suggests there's more to this than simply knowing the answer, yes." Joker nodded to the speaker in the top corner of the room. He was right: if it was as simple as just saying 'scars', then Riddler would've spoken by now. Joker nodded to the other corner, where a security camera watched, its red light flashing. He sighed, and immediately ran the knife along his arm before Harley could stop him. Blood dribbled out, dripping down onto the concrete floor. Harley's eyes widened, he hadn't even stopped to thin about it! She hurriedly tore off the sleeve of her shirt, wrapping it around his bleeding arm and scowling at him as she applied pressure. "Jeez, deep enough Mr J?" She scolded, forcing him down onto the stool next to the table.

"He wanted a scar."

"Yeah, well, just warn me next time."

Joker looked up at the camera, holding up his arm, but there was still no sound from Riddler.

Harley realised what this meant at the same time Joker did, and their eyes met. "Ah fuck," she muttered, taking the knife. Joker snatched it back, but Harley shook her head. "You know it has to be both of us," she insisted.

Joker wouldn't give her the knife, instead he reached out and lifted her shirt, rolling it up to reveal her stomach. He offered no explanation. Harley raised an eyebrow, unsure where this was going. Without saying a word Joker pulled her onto his lap, so that her legs were on either side of his. His grey eyes bore into her own, and for a moment she felt like there were only the two of them in the world.

Then he kissed her. Harley didn't fight it, even though she had no clue what was happening, and let his tongue explore her mouth. Her heart was hammering, and Joker continued to kiss her passionately. Something hard pressed against the crotch of her pants.

A flash of pain. Harley pulled away, looking down at her stomach. Joker had made a thin slice just under her belly button. She looked at him accusingly, then understood.

 _He found the least painful place to cut me, then got my adrenaline flowing so it wouldn't hurt as much._

Joker stood Harley up, placing her own hand over her stomach, and moved to the other side of the room. Amongst the tools on the large work bench by the far wall was some heavy duty tape, and after tearing out the pocket of his jacket, he used the tape to secure the thick material over her wound.

"Well done, lovebirds," came Riddler's voice. "Onto the next."

* * *

Harley repeated the latest riddle to herself as she walked. "Armored but not a knight, snapping, but not a twig, and always at home, even on the move. What am I?"

"Think about it, baby," Joker said as they walked. He knew the answer, of course, but he wouldn't tell. He wanted her to figure it out, but Harley's mind felt like a plate of spaghetti, she couldn't think straight. There was a rumble of thunder, and then a different rumble as a series of trucks passed by. Joker instinctively moved the two of them into an alleyway to their left, away from the glow of the street lights. Harley watched as the four vehicles drove on. They were black, and she knew there were armed men inside.

"One of those is carrying the bomb," she whispered.

"It might. Or it might be a decoy."

Soon the street was quiet again, and the two of them moved out under the street light. "How long do you think we have?" She asked. "Before he blows the city, I mean."

Joker, for once, didn't have an answer. "We should get moving," he replied.

"Where?" Harley asked, replaying the riddle in her head again. "Wait, I've got it! It's a turtle!"

Joker grinned, "Well done. That's why we're off to the zoo."

* * *

"Ouch! Fucker!" Joker shook the small turtle off his finger, sending it back into the water. Harley laughed, checking the shell of the turtle nearest to her.

"Oh, you think that's funny, do you?" Joker asked, his eyes blazing.

"Yeah, a little," Harley sniggered. He did look funny, up to his knees in cold water and grabbing frantically at any turtle that happened to pass. They were in the snapping turtle enclosure of Gotham Zoo, with the only light coming from the full moon. It made the black water appear to shimmer. Harley giggled again at the sight of a very wet Joker, then winced, holding her hand against her stomach.

"Are you ok?" Joker asked.

Harley nodded. "Thank you."

"For what?" Joker swore as another turtle bit his finger, flinging it back into the water.

"You chose a good place to cut me," she replied. "It didn't hurt too much, and the scar will be hidden."

"I did it so it wouldn't hurt, not to avoid a scar. You should never be ashamed of a scar, it means you were stronger than whoever tried to hurt you."

Harley considered this for a moment, "So I'm stronger than you?"

Joker grinned. "Almost certainly."

She smiled, then picked up the nearest turtle, no good. She put it gently back into the water.

"They don't bite you," Joker noted.

"I like animals, they can sense it."

"I like animals," Joker protested. "When they're not being little sh-ahhh!" Another bite, another turtle flying back into the water.

"I don't know, you never struck me as an animal lover," Harley replied evenly. "Hey, that's a point. Whatever happened to Bear?" She was a little nervous about his reply, would she like what she heard?

"He's at Jonny's place," Joker replied casually, splashing around with his hands, as if under the impression this would draw more turtles to him. He was wrong.

"Really? He's really at Jonny's?"

Joker looked confused. "Yeah, why?"

"I was worried you'd sold him…or killed him."

"I'm not a monster, Harley."

She raised an eyebrow, thinking of all the horrific things he'd done over the years. He smiled a little, "Don't say it. Anyway, your bear is fine. I just had enough of him pining for you. Jonny offered to look after him. He hates it, apparently the damn thing is tearing his apartment apart."

Harley smiled, so relieved that her little pal was ok. She picked up another turtle. "Here!" She squealed, turning the it over. There was a message painted onto the shell, which she read aloud. "What can you catch but not throw?" She considered this for a moment, "A cold!"

"Good girl," Joker grinned. "Looks like we need to see a doctor."

* * *

Harley and Joker walked in companionable silence. The storm ahead began to rumble again. It would rain soon.

"Whose turn is it?" Harley asked. "For the game I mean."

"I think we both have one," Joker replied.

"You first," Harley said.

Joker considered this as they walked. "What would make you happy?"

Harley thought for a moment. "I don't know."

"Yes you do."

She sighed. "I'd be happy if I could forgive you. Then we could be together." She felt embarrassed even saying it, but Joker didn't laugh. He never laughed at her. He looked like he understood.

"It's your turn," Joker said quietly.

"Why did you choose me?" Harley asked.

"Choose you?"

"Back at the Asylum, when we first met, you knew right from the start what was going to happen. You chose me. I just wanted to know why."

Joker thought for a moment. "Saying I _chose_ you suggests I had any control over the matter. I didn't. You chose me."

Harley raised an eyebrow. "I think of the two of us, you were the one doing the chasing."

"Oh sure, but that doesn't mean I wasn't completely at your mercy."

"I don't understand."

Joker continued to walk, not making eye contact as he spoke. "You chose me when you looked at me: you made it so I couldn't think about anything or anyone else. You chose me when you understood me: no one had ever done that before."

"I would never dream of thinking I understood you, Mr J."

Joker smiled at this. "You knew how to talk to me, how to keep me wanting more, how to challenge me. I had no choice but to love you, you made it so damn impossible not to."

Harley didn't know what to say, so she said nothing, just trying to stop herself smiling like a school girl.

* * *

"I really don't like that I keep coming back here." Harley looked up at Arkham Asylum. Of course Riddler would send them here: it was abandoned since Bane let everyone out, and was the perfect place to set more of his fun little riddles.

Joker put his arm around her briefly, "Doesn't it remind you of our first meeting?" He asked playfully.

"Yes. And it also reminds me of electroshock therapy, being beaten, getting cut, and generally being miserable."

Joker shrugged, "Only a couple of those were my fault."

She couldn't help but smile, walking with him up the steps to the medical building. "Do you think he's here?" She asked.

Joker nodded, "Yeah."

"So this is probably nearly over."

"Oh I don't know, I imagine our friend Mr Nigma has a few more tricks up his sleeve."

The medical building was dark and quiet. Joker flicked the lights on. There was debris everywhere: papers, medications, turned over chairs. Clearly everyone had left in a big hurry. There were some bodies too: doctors, patients. Harley didn't look at any of their faces: she didn't want to see if it was anyone she knew.

They moved to the nearest treatment room, but it was relatively unremarkable, so checked the next one. That was also empty, but the third was not. There was a body lying on the treatment table in the middle of the room: held down with wrist restraints. He looked like a patient. He wasn't moving. Joker moved closer, surveying him casually.

"He's dead," he muttered.

"How can you tell without checking his pulse?" Harley asked.

Joker's eyes flicked up from the body. "I've got experience. Trust me, I know dead."

"Fair enough," Harley agreed. "What now?"

Joker nodded behind her, and she turned. Written on the wall in red paint (she hoped), was another riddle. She read it aloud. "When they take out your appendix it's an appendectomy, when they remove your tonsils it's a tonsillectomy. What is it when they remove a growth from your head?"

Joker grinned. "A haircut." He turned, rummaging through the drawers behind him. Sure enough there was an electric hair trimmer. He began to shave off the man's hair.

"You're really good at this," Harley thought aloud.

"Hair cuts?"

"No, the riddles. My uncle used to do them with me, how did you get so good at them?" She sat on the table beside him, watching him intently.

Joker shrugged. "I don't know. I read a lot as a kid."

"What were you like?" She'd always wondered, trying to picture this strong, confident man as a little boy.

"I was quiet."

"You said that before, I suppose it just doesn't 'fit', seeing how you are now I mean."

"We all change, Harley."

"That's true."

Harley watched as more hair fell to the floor. Joker switched off the clippers, gesturing for her to come closer. There was writing on the man's skull. A tattoo? How did it get there? The writing was small, only just big enough to decipher. Joker read it aloud: "A doctor and a bus driver are both in love with a girl. The bus driver had to go on a trip for a week, and before he left he gave the girl seven pieces of fruit. What fruit?"

Silence while they both considered this, then Joker answered. "Apples."

Harley thought for a moment, then a grin spread across her lips. "Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away."

Joker's own face broke into a smile now. "That's a good one."

"Where do we go?"

"The apple tree in the communal garden."

* * *

The rain had started now, a light drizzle for the moment, but Harley knew it would soon get heavier. She followed Joker to the large apple tree in the garden. The cold wind whipped at her cheeks, and she hugged herself to try and keep warm. One arm was sleeveless – thanks to her make shift bandage on Joker's own arm, and she was really feeling the cold now. Her stomach hurt from where she had been cut, and she generally felt miserable.

 _I just want to go home._

But she was conflicted: yes she wanted to go home, she didn't want to be out here, but spending this much time with Joker had been interesting to say the least.

 _Have I been enjoying myself? Even with the poison gas and stabbing?_

 _Maybe a little._

She reached the tree. Sure enough, there was writing carved into the side. It looked recent, and Harley couldn't help but feel like they might be catching Riddler up. "Ok," she began. "What kind of coat is always wet when you put it on?"

"A coat of paint," Joker answered immediately.

"So what are we looking for?"

"Somewhere that's been recently painted." He smiled, "I have an idea."

* * *

Harley looked around her old office. It was exactly the same, other than the fresh coat of paint. Same desk, same battered couch, same filing cabinet with the top drawer that didn't close properly. She felt a wave of nostalgia wash over her.

"This feels weird," she muttered. There were two chairs at the desk, one on either side. The smell of fresh paint was really strong: this had only been done recently. It smelt weird though, like there was something else there too, but she couldn't figure out what. There was also a video camera set up on a tripod facing the desk. Riddler's voice appeared as if from nowhere.

"And now, time for the final act! Take a seat, please."

Harley and Joker each took a seat at the desk, facing each other.

"I thought for your last task, we could do something different."

"Great," Joker drawled sarcastically.

Harley made a big show of yawning. "Can we get on with it, Nigma? I'm getting kinda bored here."

"Why of course," came Riddler's calm reply. "Let's get this done. In order to pass the final test, you must answer ten questions correctly: five each. I will allow two mistakes: no more. Any more than that will have severe consequences. Who would like to go first?"

Joker raised his hand lazily. "I'll go first."

"Excellent. A question for you, then, about your lovely lady friend. Let's see how well you truly know each other, shall we? For when true love-"

"Just get on with it," Joker interrupted.

Riddler paused, then continued. "Very well. Harleen Quinzel's mother was called what?"

"Adrienne Quinzel," Joker answered lazily. Harley couldn't recall ever telling him that, but that didn't matter, as usual Joker seemed to know everything. That didn't bother her as much as Riddler knowing it did.

"Correct," came Riddler's voice. "Harleen, Joker once had an encounter with a Doctor Jeremy Ross. What was the outcome of this encounter?"

Harley grinned. She knew this one. "He cut out his tongue. For me actually. It was very romantic," she smiled, and Joker flashed his trademark grin back at her.

Her answer seemed to catch Riddler off guard, but he regained his composure. "Yes. Correct. Joker, what is Harley's morning bathroom routine?"

Harley's eyes widened. "Uh, gross?"

Joker just smiled. "She pees, washes her hands, then takes a shower. She thinks the running water covers up her singing, but it doesn't. She washes her hair, shaves her legs, and then wraps herself in a towel. She brushes her teeth, uses the mouthwash she hates, spits it out and pulls a face because it tastes terrible. She pulls faces in the mirror to see what she would look like with thinner cheeks or higher brows-"

"Alright, I get the point," Riddler interrupted. "Correct."

Harley raised an eyebrow. "How did you know all that?"

"I pay attention."

"Harleen, your turn. If the time is 5.00pm, and I ask him the time an hour later, what will he tell me?"

Harley grinned. "He couldn't tell you anything, none of his watches have hands on."

"Yes. Joker, Harley once considered getting the musical notes of her favourite song tattooed on her wrist. Which song was it?"

Joker looked momentarily puzzled. "Into Me, by Knightshade." It was a guess, and a good one. That was her favourite band, and her favourite song by them, but unfortunately-

"Wrong," Riddler said gleefully. "It was in fact Man I Feel Like A Woman, by Shania Twain."

Joker gave Harley a pitying look, and she felt herself blush. "It's a good song."

"No it's not."

"Ok, but it's got a great message."

"No it hasn't."

Riddler chuckled. "That's one error, Harleen, your turn. What is Joker's favourite drink?"

Harley shook her head. "That's a trick question, he doesn't have one. He orders something different every time."

Riddler paused. "Correct."

Harley was starting to feel a little unstoppable. Riddler's next question was for Joker.

"What does Harley say is her favourite movie?"

"Pride and Prejudice."

"But her favourite is actually…"

"Speed."

Harley grinned, "I love me some fast busses."

"Very good," Riddler didn't sound like he actually thought this was good at all. Harley had lost count of how many questions they had answered so far, but there couldn't be many more, right?

"Harleen, which tattoo did Joker get first?"

"'Damaged'", Harley answered immediately.

There was a pause, and Harley wondered if Riddler was trying to think of harder questions.

"Correct. Joker," he began. "Why did Harley spend the night in the bath a week after you kicked her out?"

Joker paused, and Harley's heart began to hammer. He didn't know the answer. She was glad: she didn't want him to know, but this wasn't good.

Joker shook his head. "I don't know." She could see he was angry with himself for not knowing.

"The reason," Riddler began deliciously. "Is that she had taken a bottle of prescription pills, all washed down with a half bottle of vodka. If it wasn't for her good friend Miss Kyle coming home early, and forcing her fingers down Harleen's throat, your dear lady friend would be dead."

Joker's eyes met hers, filled with sorrow. "Oh, baby," he whispered.

"Don't," Harley interrupted. "I'm fine now."

"Time for the last question. Your score, so far, is a pitiful seven out of nine. Get this one wrong, and the game is over, and the consequences I mentioned previously will become very real. Get it right, and I will meet with you."

"Just get on with it," Joker sighed.

"Very well. Harleen, what is Joker's real name?"

Harley felt her eyes widen. She had no idea, of course she didn't'. No one did! Joker looked angry. "That's not fair!" Harley yelled.

"I never said the questions would be fair," Riddler chuckled. "Time's ticking, I need your answer."

"No one knows the answer to that!" Harley argued.

"Very true," Riddler replied. "But sadly, that doesn't make your answer any less wrong. But thank you for playing. Now it's time for the consequences."

"I don't think so," Joker interrupted, getting to his feet. "Come on," he nodded at Harley. "We don't need him."

They turned to the door, just in time to see Riddler standing right there. He was holding a cigarette, which he dropped onto the floor at his feet, before slamming the door. Suddenly the room was ablaze.

 _How did it spread so fast?!_

Harley could hardly breathe, and watched helplessly as Joker tried to wrench open the scalding hot door. Riddler's voice filled the room once more. "This room has been doused in a highly flammable substance. I'm surprised neither of you could smell it when you first entered. A deadly mistake. I could leave you both to burn, but I'm a good sport, so I'll give you a choice. In the desk drawer there is a gun. When one of you is dead, the flames will be extinguished and the door will open."

Harley tried to argue, but her throat felt like it was on fire. She watched helplessly as Joker moved to the desk. He opened the drawer, pulled out the gun, and examined it briefly.

 _Is he going to kill me?_

 _At least it will be quick._

Joker glanced at her quickly, before aiming the gun at his own head and pulling the trigger.

* * *

"No!" Harley screamed, running to Joker. But he was alive. Still standing with the gun in his hand. As if by magic, the flames disappeared, and Harley was vaguely aware of the sprinklers soaking her. But that didn't matter, Joker was alive! He opened the gun chamber, laughing a little as the blanks fell to the floor. Harley took the gun, threw it behind her, and put her hands on either side of his face.

"You didn't even wait-" she began, her voice little more than a whisper. Joker looked confused, so she continued. "You tried to kill yourself, you could've killed me but you didn't."

Joker shook his head. "I will never let anyone hurt you. Especially not me."

Harley kissed him, trying and failing to fight the tears that sprung into her eyes, ignoring the water pouring over them. She heard the door open behind her, but it could've been a million miles away, because right now it was just she and Joker. And it would always be she and Joker. She would never let them be separated again. He held onto her so tightly, as if terrified she would pull away, but she wasn't going anywhere.

Finally they let each other go, and Harley pushed him gently in the chest. "Don't you ever fucking hurt me again."

"Never."

"I mean it, I'll kill you myself."

He grinned. "Oh I know, baby, I know."

She smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him again. "I love you, Mr J."

"Not as much as I love you, Harley."

"Well, well, well. That was unexpected." Riddler stood in the now open doorway. "I have to say, that was the last thing I thought I would see."


	13. Chapter 13

**Sorry for the late update everyone, thanks so much for your patience! As usual, thanks to everyone for the kind reviews and comments on the story so far. I hope you like this chapter, just FYI it does get a little 'intimate', so if you're not into that then just skip to the next section. I tried to make it as tasteful as possible, rather than just straight up pornographic!**

* * *

Riddler clapped slowly as he walked into the room. Harley took a step back from Joker, watching the skinny man enter. He looked much the same as the last time she saw him: same dark hair, same expression of mild amusement. He wore a dark green suit, with black question marks on the collar. Her eyes blazed with anger just at the sight of him. Thanks to this man she was scarred and dirty. Her lungs hurt from breathing in the smoke, and her heart was still racing from what had just happened. She was so sure one of them had been about to die. She hated Riddler right now. She couldn't see Joker's face, but she could tell from his stance that he too was less than pleased to see the man who'd caused them so much stress that night.

 _Maybe he'll kill him. That would be good._

 _No we need him. Probably._

 _If he tries to kill Riddler I won't try to stop him._

"Congratulations," Riddler said as he moved closer. "You passed all of the tests. As I knew you would. Now we can talk."

Joker moved closer, getting so close to the skinny man that he was almost standing on his feet. To Riddler's credit he didn't recoil, despite the tall, well-built clown now just inches from his face.

" _We're_ not going to talk," Joker began, his voice little more than a growl. " _I'm_ going to talk, and you're going to listen."

Riddler scoffed, "And if I don't?"

Joker shrugged, pulling a large knife from his pocket and tossing it to Harley. She caught it by the handle. "Kill him, baby."

Harley grinned. "Love to." She stepped closer, toying with the blade of the knife.

Riddler stepped back, but Joker was too fast, moving behind him and pinning both hands behind his back. Harley widened her smile, stepping close to Riddler and gently running the tip of the knife along the front of his shirt. She created a small tear in the fabric, then another. She bit her lip, enjoying the gentle sound of the expensive material ripping under her blade. His eyes darted around a little: he was scared.

"Can I scar him up first?" Harley asked Joker, her eyes glittering.

"Whatever my baby wants."

Harley grinned again, and for once Riddler looked a little worried. "Fine, talk. I'll listen. But only because I'm curious."

Joker nodded to Harley, who sighed and lowered the knife. He stepped round in front of Riddler. "You're going to help us with Bane."

"Well of course I knew that's what you wanted. That part is obvious." Riddler straightened up a little, fixing the collar of his shirt. "Give me specifics."

"Later," Joker replied, waving him off. "I'll be in touch." He turned, heading out of the office and into the corridor. Harley stepped closer to Riddler. She bit her lip, looking at him seductively, and speaking gently. "I can't wait to cut you." She whispered.

"Come on, Harley," called Joker.

Harley winked at Riddler. "See you real soon."

* * *

"Why didn't you give him more details?" Harley asked Joker as they headed back to the club. He'd stolen a car, and she stretched out a little, grateful to at last be warm, dry, and safe.

"Two reasons."

"Which are?"

"Firstly, I wanted to keep him interested. He'll want to know what our plan is, and he's so damn smug that he'll be sure he's playing a key role. He'll be desperate to know what it is. That'll guarantee he comes to the meeting tomorrow."

"The meeting?"

"I'm calling everyone we've recruited, we need to talk strategy and it'll be easier if we're all in the same room."

Harley raised an eyebrow. "You want to put Killer Croc, Poison Ivy, and all the others in a room together?"

"Yes."

"And you're expecting them not to kill you?"

Joker shrugged. "I'd be a little insulted if they didn't _try_."

Harley rolled her eyes. "Ok, and what's the other reason for not telling Riddler the plan?"

"I didn't want to waste time."

Harley was confused. "Waste time? We spent the whole night trying to track this guy down, how can finally talking to him be a waste of time?"

Joker turned, not looking at the road now, his eyes solely focused on her. She wasn't afraid, despite the speed the car was traveling.

"You're mine again. That means that any time not spent with my head between your legs is a waste of time." A light flickered behind his eyes, as if some great truth had just dawned on him. "In fact…" He took a sharp turn, taking the car off the main road and into an alley. It was late, Harley hadn't seen a single other car the entire journey, and the alley too was deserted. Rain hammered heavily on the windows, the only sound now the car had stopped. Joker got out, into the pouring rain, and Harley watched as he walked towards her door. Her heart raced, the fluttering between her legs became almost unbearable, and she felt her breathing speed up.

 _Fuck, he hasn't even opened the door yet and already you're a mess!_

The door opened, and Joker held out a hand. Harley took it, joining him in the rain. For a moment the two of them just looked into each other's eyes, not caring one iota that they were both soaked to the skin. She was vaguely aware that her make-up was probably running. She must've looked a mess, but she knew that didn't matter. Not to him. Those things never mattered to Joker.

"You want this?" He asked, his grey eyes focused only on her. Those eyes, which seemed to be able to see into her very soul. Eyes which were so cold yet so alive all at the same time. Harley nodded. Joker opened the back door of the car, gently pushing her down onto the seats, so she was lying on her back. Her damp hair fanned out behind her. He climbed in, closing the door. For a moment he just looked down at her, the rain hammering down on the window behind him. He lowered himself down a little, so that his arms rested on either side of her. Harley reached up, gently stroking his face, running her thumb across his lips. He kissed it gently. Then he leaned in, kissing her with the lightest of pressure. His lips were soft, and he delicately slipped his tongue into her mouth. She kept one hand on the side of his face, the other on his neck, as though she was terrified he would stop. Terrified he would leave her again. Terrified this wasn't real.

"I thought you would never forgive me," he breathed, momentarily stopping the kiss.

"So did I," she admitted.

"Why did you?"

"You have a big dick."

Joker laughed aloud at her comment, clearly caught off-guard by her joke. Harley laughed too, kissing him once upon the lips. Then she continued. "I forgave you because I love you, and I had no real choice." He smiled, kissing her more forcefully now. He was laying on top of her, keeping his weight in his arms, and she felt him harden against her stomach. Harley drew her arms up, holding tightly onto his muscular back. She had forgotten how strong he was. Joker moved down a little, running a trail of kisses along her neck. He grasped the waist of her pants, pulling them down in one fluid motion. Then he took hold of her legs, pushing them up so that her feet were flat on the seat, and positioned himself between them. She felt exposed, despite her underwear, and a little self-conscious. It had been so long since she had been intimate with him, it was like the first time all over again, and she felt awkward in her own skin. Luckily, he didn't seem awkward at all, and gently kissed the fabric of her panties, teasing her through the material. Harley let out a little whimper, her self-consciousness immediately forgotten. His hot breath made every inch of her skin tingle, and it was all she could do not to force him down onto her.

"Please," she breathed, watching as a smile spread across his lips. He did, however, grant her mercy, and gently pulled her panties down. He moved back to where he was, now running his tongue freely over her sex. She had forgotten (or made herself forget) just how incredible he was at this. Harley tried not to think about how many women he must've been with to get this good, and let herself revel in the fact that it was only her now. His wicked tongue flicked back and forth, regularly changing pressure and direction so that within minutes she was close to the edge. He knew it, of course, and she knew him well enough to know he would probably stop before she got there: wanting to draw it out even longer. She was right, and could feel him begin to slow, lightening the pressure. But Harley was in no mood to let him be in control: not after waiting so long to be together again, so she decided to take charge. She took hold of his head, a fistful of his hair in her hand, and held him in place. He glanced up at her with a devilish expression on his face, and spoke in a soft voice. "Oh, we're trying something different today? I like it." He resumed his work, with Harley making it pretty much impossible for him to stop anyway. Soon she was back at the precipice, and it took only a few more seconds of Joker's skilled tongue to push her over. Harley came apart, finally releasing her hold on Joker's head as the car around her seemed to spin and blur. The sounds of the rain, the pain in her scarred stomach, the uncomfortable feeling of the seatbelt clip against her back, these things faded away into nothing.

Eventually the world around her came back into focus, and Joker's face was in front of her own. "You want more?" He asked her deliciously. She could smell herself on his warm breath.

"I want _you_ ," she answered honestly.

Joker grinned, reaching down for his belt. She watched eagerly, anticipation building in her stomach and between her legs. Joker unzipped his pants and Harley reached out to touch him. He was a rock, and she gently squeezed him with her hand, reveling in how hard he felt against her. Joker let out a little moan, kissing the top of her head. Then he moved to position himself between her legs, gently running himself along her sex. He slipped inside, and Harley gasped at the feeling of fullness. He began a fast, steady rhythm, and try as she might, Harley couldn't keep quiet. Luckily Joker didn't seem to mind, in fact, it was pretty clear he liked it. He barely broke a sweat, though his breathing was heavy, and he let out a little moan as he plunged deep into her. Harley pulled at his shirt, forcing it off so she could touch his decorated skin. Joker slowed his pace, allowing Harley a moment to look at him properly: her illustrated man. She ran her finger along the 'Joker' on his toned stomach. Her eyes roamed over his beautiful porcelain skin. But she didn't have long to admire him, because now he was speeding up again. Harley gripped his back, dragging her nails over his skin, unaware that she was leaving deep scratches. He was so good at this. No one else had ever made her feel like this. No one else in the whole world. Joker pressed his head against her forehead, and she knew he was close. She kissed him passionately, biting down on his bottom lip, which was enough to send him over the edge. He growled her name, pushing himself even deeper inside her. Harley gasped, holding him tightly, tears on her cheeks.

* * *

The sun poured through the gap in the curtains, warming Harley's face. She was in Joker's huge bed, with his arm wrapped around her. She could vaguely hear sounds coming from the club downstairs. It didn't matter that it was the morning, that place was always open. Harley allowed herself one moment of happiness, a moment to savor where she was and what had happened last night, before having to deal with the plans for the day. She heard Joker stir behind her. She turned, smiling at the relaxed, happy expression on his face.

"Morning, beautiful," he grinned.

"Morning."

"You're smiling."

"So are you."

"I'm happy."

"Me too."

Joker leaned a little closer and kissed her once on the forehead. "What do you want to do today?" He asked.

Harley raised an eyebrow. "You know we have to speak to everyone we recruited? They're going to be here-" she looked at the clock. "-in less than an hour."

Joker rolled his eyes. "That sounds really boring, let's do something else."

"Like what?"

"You wanna go to Metropolis and get drunk?"

Harley made her tone as sarcastic as possible. "Wow, is that our first date as a couple again?"

"Oh yeah, I'll get you wasted, feel you up, then hold your hair back when you puke all over yourself."

"Sounds great."

"I'll even buy you a bucket of chicken."

"How romantic."

Joker grinned. "I'm a romantic guy."

Harley smiled, "Well as sweet and thoughtful as that - clearly well planned out - date sounds, you know we can't go anywhere. Not with Bane's men and the soldiers blocking the bridge."

Joker sighed. "That guy is ruining my plans to woo you."

"Which is why we need to plan. Although, I'd like to hear you say 'woo' again." Harley giggled, and Joker flashed her his trademark smile. She continued, "So, we need to get ready. That means clothes."

Joker sighed, "Ok, _mom,"_ he grinned playfully, and Harley shoved him. He caught hold of her hand, gently kissing her knuckles.

Harley let him kiss her hand for a moment, before gently pulling it away and making to get out of bed. She pulled at the top sheet, wrapping it around herself to keep her modesty. Joker raised an eyebrow from his spot on the bed. "What are you doing?"

Harley shrugged. "I'm embarrassed."

"Why?"

"I don't know, I just am."

Joker got to his feet, himself completely naked and clearly unashamed, and moved over to her. He pulled the sheet off, the cold air harsh on her skin. She instinctively covered herself with her arms. Joker took her wrists in his hands and lowered her arms to her sides. "Don't," he whispered. He kissed her once on the lips, then trailed the kisses down her neck, onto her breasts, down onto her stomach, and along every inch of her body. Her skin tingled under his touch. His lips were so soft, so gentle, completely at odds with the terrifying persona he showed everyone else. How could someone so dangerous, so damaged, be so gentle and loving at the same time?

"Every part of you is beautiful," he whispered against her skin. His kisses continued downwards, now on her hip bone. He continued along to her lower stomach, then downwards. He continued lower, slowly dipping his wicked tongue inside her just once. She knew where this was heading, and she knew they didn't have time, but she wasn't exactly in a hurry to make him stop either.

Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) they were interrupted by a knock on the bedroom door.

"What?" Joker called over his shoulder, his voice thick with irritation at the interruption.

"Boss, Crane wants to talk to you." Jonny sounded his usual relaxed self. Harley wondered if he already knew his boss wasn't alone: Jonny was pretty good at reading a vibe, just from Joker's voice. Harley saw the glitter in Joker's eyes: she knew he wanted nothing more than to invite Crane in – to rub his face in the fact that he and Harley were together again. He glanced briefly at her, looking for her approval. She shook her head, and he grinned. "I'll be right there," he replied to Jonny, getting to his feet and kissing her gently on the lips.

"I know exactly what you were thinking," Harley muttered as he pulled away.

"You always do," he replied, winking at her. He threw on a shirt and some pants, ran a hand through his hair, then left the room. Harley picked up the sheet, wrapping it around herself once more.

"If only that were true," she thought aloud.

* * *

Harley had to put on last night's outfit: Crane and Joker were in the living room, and she wasn't willing to walk out in just a sheet, in order to get a change of clothes from the room she shared with Selina. She dressed hurriedly, swept up her hair into a high ponytail, then took a breath. This was going to be incredibly awkward.

She stepped out into the living room. Crane and Joker were standing in the kitchen, talking quietly, and Selina was there too, sitting at the breakfast bar. She raised an eyebrow at the sight of Harley coming out of Joker's bedroom, a smile playing on her lips, but said nothing. Crane merely glanced at her, before looking purposefully away. Harley tried to look like she wasn't extremely uncomfortable, and headed over.

"Juice?" Selina offered, holding up a glass jug. Harley nodded, grateful that Selina was keeping things casual. Crane and Joker resumed their conversation, talking about when the others would be arriving, and what would be said, so Selina leaned a little closer to Harley, lowering her voice to a whisper.

"I was going to come looking for you when you didn't get back. The only reason I didn't was because I knew _he_ was gone too," she motioned with her head towards Joker.

"Sorry," Harley began. "I hope you weren't too worried. It wasn't exactly planned."

Selina smiled. "I'm sure it wasn't, but I can't say I didn't see it coming." A look of concern crossed her face. "You know what you're doing? You trust him?"

Harley briefly looked at Joker, still absorbed in his conversation with Crane, and she nodded. "Yes. As much as I trust anyone. He won't hurt me again."

"No, he won't." Selina's thinly masked threat made Harley smile, and she squeezed her friend's hand. Then Harley got to her feet.

"I'm gonna go get changed before everyone arrives - wash the sex smell off of me." Harley had meant to say it quietly. She had not realised that the conversation between Crane and Joker had stopped, and that Crane had walked over to the pair of them to reach for the orange juice. Selina's eye's widened at Harley's comment, and Harley felt her own face flush red. She bit her lip, looking over at Crane who was pouring his juice and pointedly not looking at her. Joker was regarding her with an amused smile.

"Fuck my life," Harley muttered, turning on her heel and heading for her room.

* * *

 _Awesome Harley, everyone loves a crude sex reference at breakfast. Especially a guy you recently broke up with who was totally in love with you. Great job._

Harley internally scolded herself for pretty much the entire half an hour it took to get ready. She changed into her signature black and red jumpsuit, but went without the hat or white face paint. She did, however, restyle her hair into pigtails, and redo her make-up. By the time she re-emerged, Joker, Selina, and Crane were all ready to go, heading towards the door of the apartment. Joker waited for her as the others left.

"A vision of perfection, as always," he said.

Harley smiled, "Not so bad yourself, Mr J." He had changed into a black shirt with a bright red tie, along with more formal dress pants and shiny black shoes.

"Gotta look the part," he grinned. "Are you ready?"

"I don't know, I'm kind of nervous."

"Why?"

"Why? Because your club is going to be full of some of the most dangerous criminals in Gotham? Because we have no idea if any of these guys will play ball? Because-"

"Because you made an awful sex joke in front of Crane?"

"Because I… Well yeah that was pretty fucking awkward too."

Joker grinned, kissing her once on the forehead. "Crane is fine, the others will keep up their end of the deal, and who cares if they're dangerous? You know who I am, right?"

Harley smiled. "Yeah."

"So don't worry, baby." He took her by the hand, leading her down the stairs to the club. "Oh, and by the way, I like it when you smell like sex."

Harley rolled her eyes. "Ha. Ha."

* * *

Though the music was playing and the dancers were dancing, the club was virtually empty. Harley wasn't sure if it was because it was the middle of the day, or whether Jonny had actively been telling people to stay away. Or maybe the usual customers had seen today's clientele and decided it would be safer to go home. When Harley and Joker entered, she could see everyone else was already there. Sitting in Joker's usual booth was Penguin, and next to him was Two Face. Ivy was on the other side of the booth, not looking at either of them, even though their eyes were transfixed on her. Riddler stood a few feet away, watching the others with a bemused expression. Selina and Crane joined them at the booth. Harley realised now that the only 'customers' in the club, were actually just Two Face, Riddler, and Penguin's hired muscle, each wearing a different outfit to demonstrate their allegiance. Two Face's men (there were three of them) wore suits which were half burned on one side, and masks of the same design. Riddler's three men wore green suits surrounded with question marks, and Penguin's five were just in black, but each carried an umbrella. Harley wondered what kinds of terrible weapons were concealed inside them: that was Penguin's gimmick.

"What about Croc?" Harley whispered to Joker as they headed over.

"He'll be here."

Everyone stopped talking when Joker arrived. He had that power over people: his presence filled a room without him even needing to say a word. Harley let go of his hand, stepping to the side and taking a seat beside Selina at the booth.

"Gentleman," Joker began, addressing all of them. "And lady," he nodded at Ivy, who looked at him with an expression of revulsion. If Harley had been trying to convince herself that Ivy had gotten over her hatred of Joker, she was quickly brought back to Earth by that look. Joker continued, unaffected by the frosty glare. "Thank you all for coming today. You know why we're here: the man in the mask." Harley looked at the others: all were watching Joker intently, listening to what he had to say. They may have hated him, but they all respected him. Or at least feared him. Joker continued. "Now I can appreciate a guy who does what he wants, and I definitely enjoy a little crazy every now and then, but Bane has made it difficult for me to elope with my lovely Harley, so we're going to have to kill him."

"Yeah, yeah," Penguin interrupted. "We all want him gone, just tell us your plan, clown."

Joker flashed him a silver smile, though Harley could see the threat behind it. There was no love lost between the bird and the clown. "Happy to," he drawled through gritted teeth. "In two weeks time, Bane is going to be holding a little celebration downtown – he's calling it 'Independent Gotham' – and it's all about celebrating how marvelous our new city is."

"You think the bomb will be there?" Two Face asked.

"I _know_ it will be there."

"So what's the plan?"

Joker looked over at Riddler. "Our good friend, Mr Nigma, is going to find a way to disarm the bomb."

Riddler raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. Penguin, however, laughed out loud. " _Him?_ You think the little puzzle man is going to know how to disarm a neutron bomb?!" He laughed raucously, pointing at Riddler with a fat little finger.

Riddler glared at him, and for a moment Harley thought he wasn't going to respond. She was wrong. Seconds later, Riddler was just an inch from Penguin's face, holding a gun to his forehead. Harley had no idea how he had moved so fast, but Penguin's laughter was immediately cut short. She could hear Penguin's men yelling, and watched as they all raised their umbrellas, pointing them at Riddler. At the same time Riddler's own men held up their guns, aiming them at Penguin's. The others: Two Face, Ivy, Crane, Selina, and Joker, did nothing. Joker, in fact, looked almost bored. After a few seconds Two Face spoke up. "For Godssake Nigma, kill him or back off, the rest of us have got shit to do today."

Riddler stayed where he was a moment longer, then stepped back. He turned to Joker. "I'll need resources."

Joker nodded. Riddler glanced at Penguin once more, then turned and moved to the door. "Give me five days," he called back, before leaving.

"I ain't working with him!" Penguin snapped after he had gone. "You want my men? Cut him loose."

Joker shook his head. "This only works with all of us. You can kill him after."

Ivy snorted, "That wouldn't bother you at all? To use him and then let him die?"

Joker looked at her blankly. "I don't understand the question."

Harley smiled, but Ivy just rolled her eyes. "What do you want the rest of us to do?" She asked impatiently.

Joker grinned, "What you do best of course: chaos." He looked at Penguin and Two Face. "I need your men downtown, in the middle of the celebration. Get them out of the ridiculous costumes and dressed like Bane's guys. Then, on the signal, they start killing."

"Bane's people," Harley interrupted. "Only killing Bane's men. There are innocent people still in Gotham."

"No one in this city is innocent," Ivy interrupted. It was the first time she'd so much as looked at Harley since she'd sat down.

"Even so, they focus on Bane's men," Harley insisted. "Clear?"

Penguin and Two Face both looked at Joker, who gave a little nod.

"Fine," Penguin said. "Makes it a whole lot bloody harder though."

"What about her?" Two Face asked, nodding at Ivy.

"She gets to play with her flowers," Joker grinned.

Neither Penguin nor Two Face questioned this, so Harley assumed they'd both had dealings with Ivy's plants first hand.

Joker continued. "While this is going on, Harley is going to use Riddler's device to shut off the bomb."

Penguin gave Harley a sideways look, but only spoke to Joker. "You think she can manage that?"

Joker gave no response, but his hard stare was enough. Penguin held up his hands, though it was an ironic gesture. "Fine, fine. What about you?"

"I'm going to kill Bane."

"Wait a minute," Penguin argued. "I want Bane. He'd be an excellent addition to my collection."

Harley thought of the criminals Penguin had locked up in his museum. None of them were dead. "You'd keep him alive?"

"Of course."

Selina raised an eyebrow. "Have you seen the size of him? You think you've got a cage strong enough?"

"Let me worry about that."

"If he gets out, he'll kill you," Harley added.

Penguin looked at her coldly, speaking in a sarcastic voice. "As long as no pretty little clowns come visiting, my collection should be safe."

Harley smiled, thinking of the last time she went to 'visit' Penguin's museum. She freed Joker, and caused all kinds of chaos.

"Bane's mine," Two Face interrupted. "He killed ten of my guys yesterday, and took over one of my warehouses. Shared out my profits amongst all his men. Said 'The people earned it'. I'm going to kill him."

" _I_ kill him," Ivy interrupted.

"I thought you liked him?" Crane asked. "Didn't he give you a place for your plants?"

Ivy gritted her teeth. "His men came and burned down my home."

"He knew you were too dangerous," Selina finished, and Ivy nodded.

Joker smiled. "Well, I wish you all luck. Either way, Bane's gone. Agreed?"

Ivy, Two Face, and Penguin nodded, and each got up to leave. As they did, the door to the club opened, and Killer Croc stalked in. Joker looked at him lazily, turning to sit beside Harley in the booth.

"You're late," he called over. Croc grinned, approaching the booth. Penguin, Two Face, and Ivy all eyed the monster cautiously, but his gaze was fixed on Joker.

"Shut up, Clown. What do I have to do?" He growled.

Joker grinned.

* * *

Harley had been running for the past half an hour: it was her way of switching her mind off. She'd changed into her sweatpants and a cropped t-shirt and headed out of the club soon after Croc and the others had gone. Joker had wanted to come with her, he thought Gotham was too dangerous these days for her to go out on her own, but he knew better than to tell Harley what to do, so had begrudgingly let her go. Harley wasn't afraid, she'd taken down more than a few street thugs in her time.

The sun was beginning to set, and the cool air was refreshing against her hot skin. She rounded another corner, thinking about how much things had changed in the space of one day: she and Joker were back together, the criminals of Gotham were united against Bane…everything was falling into place. Harley paused, taking a moment to catch her breath and leaning standing in the doorway of a grocery store. It looked like it had been looted, and several of the windows were smashed. She wiped her brow with he back of her hand, unable to fight the smile spreading over her lips. She felt good. Happy. Lighter than she'd felt in months. Yes, things were finally getting back to how they should be.

It was a pretty good day, until the bag went over her head.


	14. Chapter 14

**Thanks for the lovely comments on the last chapter guys, hope you like this one. It's not too action-filled, but I'm anticipating the next few chapters to have more than enough of that! This one has a bit of silliness in some of the dialogue, which I hope comes across as at least mildly amusing to anyone other than myself. If not, then I apologise, at least I can make myself laugh, right? ;)**

 **Thanks for your support of this story and the last one, this is a great community and you guys are lovely :)**

* * *

Harley blinked rapidly when the bag was removed, the light from the room momentarily blinding her. Slowly things came into focus, and she realised she was in the store she had been standing outside not long ago. The sun had set now, though only just, and the light shining on her face was coming from a standing lamp pointing directly at her, a few feet from where she sat. Harley's wrists were tied to the chair with rope. She knew there were other people in the room, she could see shadowy movement, but had no idea how many of them there were thanks to the light from the lamp obscuring her view.

"Is this gonna take long?" Harley asked, crossing one leg over the other and speaking with a confident, irritated tone. "I've got things to do."

Laughter, just one voice though. Definitely male. Whoever it was took another step forward, though still not close enough for her to see his face.

"Don't worry, this won't take too long at all." The voice was familiar, but not enough for her to pinpoint it. It was definitely someone she had talked with before.

"Have we met?" She asked, cocking her head to one side.

"Yes."

Harley widened her eyes in mock embarrassment. "Did I sleep with you and then steal your watch?"

"No."

"Did I steal your watch _without_ sleeping with you?"

"No."

She bit her lip. "Did I hit your bike with my car?"

"No."

"-And then drag it for three blocks? Because it was a complete accident."

"No."

"Huh. I wonder what happened to _that_ guy."

Movement in front of her, then a figure stepped into the light. Harley knew him now. This was the man who had tried to assault her when Gotham first fell to Bane. There had been three of them, but she'd killed the other two. She actually thought she'd killed this one as well, in self defense of course, but it looked like he'd survived. Or most of him had: his mouth was horribly scarred from where she'd bitten his lips off. That had been a nice, if horribly macabre, touch.

"Recognize me now, bitch?" He spat.

Harley bit her own lip, looked at him for a while longer, then shook her head. "Sorry sweetie, I guess you just have a forgettable face?"

The man sneered, regarding her for just a moment, before slapping her briefly across the face. Laughter from the men behind him. She still couldn't see how many there were. Harley's cheek was on fire, but she wasn't about to show any weakness, so she just smiled. "Wait a minute, did we make out once? Not long ago? Some of your friends were there?" She paused for a moment, before asking. "How are they?"

"Dead."

"That's right. It's all coming back to me now." Harley smiled, cocking her head playfully to the side. "I'm super forgetful these days. So how are you? You look…good."

His eyes narrowed, and when he spoke his words had sharp edges to them. "You. Mutilated me. Bitch."

Harley rolled her eyes. "Yeah well, I get a little crazy when guys try to rape me in an alley: what can you do?" She shrugged.

He stepped a little closer, his scarred face looking even more disturbing this close. "Well, here's what _I'm_ gonna do. I'm gonna cut your pretty lips off, just like you did to me. I'm gonna shoot you, just like you did to Luke, and I'm gonna do every other thing you did to my friends. Then, when I'm done, I'll finish what I started and fuck you."

Harley raised an eyebrow. "You'd fuck me _after_ shooting me and cutting my lips off? I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but I'd definitely think a little more carefully about your timetabling if I were you."

He slapped her again, forcing her head to the left. Slowly she brought it back around. More laughter from the others. "Fuck that bitch, Carl!" Someone called.

Harley raised an eyebrow, talking over No-Lip's shoulder, "Get with it, he's gonna mutilate me _then_ fuck me." She looked back at the one called Carl. "Your guys aren't great at listening."

He just smirked at her. Harley glanced at the dark world outside the store windows. Carl followed her gaze, then smiled.

"No one can hear you, this part of town is empty these days. It's just you and me."

"And all your boys," Harley nodded over his shoulder. "How many guys are in here?"

"Enough," he shrugged.

"Were you worried I was going to make you cry like a little girl again?"

He scowled, but then a smile spread over his face once more. "No, they just all wanted a turn on you."

Harley pulled a disgusted expression, and he laughed. "You scared?"

"A little, can you stop smiling? I don't want to hurt your feelings, but it's really gross. You want to get those lips looked at. I know a great guy! He did fillers on my friend, Selina! They look super natural." She lowered her voice a little. "Just don't go to whoever Two-Face went to, because let me tell you, he doesn't look great."

Again the smile was wiped from his face, and he leaned a little closer. "Do you have any idea how much pain you are about to feel?"

Harley noticed the flash of a headlight through the window ahead. She smiled. "Not as much as you, sweetie."

A flicker of confusion spread over his face. He stood up straight. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Only that my boyfriend is the jealous type, and I've been gone a while. He'll hate to think I'm out having fun with other guys, no matter how mutilated their faces might be." She smiled, her eyes flicking to the window once more, then back to him. She spoke in a whisper now. "You better get your story ready, and make sure you can talk fast." The lights grew larger in the window. Seconds later a truck smashed into the front of the store, and the men around her began to panic. With the truck lights illuminating the room, Harley could see at least fifteen other men in the store, all now running or aiming guns at the truck. The back doors opened, and Joker's boys jumped out. She'd recognise them anywhere: some in animal masks, some in full animal costumes, others simply with clown-painted faces. Each carried a machine gun. They opened fire, mowing down everyone in the store. But Harley's new friend, and a couple of others, immediately dove behind Harley, avoiding the gunfire. Carl No-Lips held a gun to her head, and the other two stood to the side, aiming their guns towards the truck. Soon the gunfire died, and Harley watched as Joker exited the back of the truck. He was wearing his purple jacket over a black suit. His hair was neat, and he had a thick gold chain around his neck. He carried her baseball bat, and was smiling. If it was possible, she loved him more in that moment than she ever had.

"Don't come any closer!" Carl yelled. But Joker only had eyes for Harley.

"We had dinner plans," he said to her, pointing to one of the three watches on his wrist.

"I got held up," Harley explained, nodding to her restrained hands.

Joker raised an eyebrow. "Are you cheating on me?"

"I couldn't resist," Harley replied playfully. "He's got a really interesting face." She nodded in Carl's direction as he leaned out from behind her.

Joker looked him, then recoiled dramatically. "Fuck! What happened to your lips, friend?"

" _She_ fucking happened to them!" Carl hissed.

Joker looked at Harley with mock disappointment. "Is that true?"

She rolled her eyes. "Look, we both know I'm normally down for a gang rape, but the other day I wasn't in the mood, and he wouldn't accept a raincheck."

Joker nodded. "Understandable." He looked back up at Carl, all playfulness gone from his eyes. Harley felt the gun pressing harder into her neck as No-Lips realised where this was going. Joker took a few steps forward.

"Don't you fucking come any closer! I'll shoot her!"

But the other two men shifted uncomfortably on either side of her. "Dude, that's fucking Joker," one of them hissed. "He'll gut us."

"Give him back his girl," the other one agreed. "He might let us go."

"He won't," Carl said.

Harley shook her head. "No, he won't."

Joker shook his head too, in agreement. Then looked at Harley again. "Did he hurt you?"

Harley shrugged. "He slapped me a couple of times, you've done worse in the bedroom." She grinned, and Joker mirrored it, before looking back at Carl. His stare was terrifying, and even Harley had no idea what he was going to do.

"I'm a laid back guy," he began, pointing with the bat as he spoke. "I like to let loose and go a little crazy every now and then. Hell, I can't count on one hand the number of people I've tied up and tortured in an abandoned grocery store. Jonny, help me out?"

"Dozens," Jonny piped up from beside the truck, where he stood casually with his foot resting on the wheel behind him.

"Dozens," Joker repeated. "But we've got a problem here, and that problem is that you chose _my girl_ to tie up and slap around. And that just won't do. So…what are we going to do about this?" He made 'tick tock' noises with his tongue, pointing the bat at each man in turn. "Hmm? How are you going to fix it?"

There was a moment of silence, and Harley was beginning to wonder if Joker had a plan at all, when she heard the gunfire. No-lips dropped his gun, and fell down dead beside her. Harley looked over her shoulder, one of his own guys had killed him. Both of them now dropped their weapons, and held up their hands to Joker.

"We're cool man. We didn't know she was your girl," one of them gabbled. "If we had-"

He trailed off as Joker approached. He got close to the one who'd killed Carl, really close, close enough that their noses touched. "Today's your lucky day," he grinned, swaying a little from side to side as he spoke. "You have ten seconds to get out before my boys come after you." He stepped back, and the man didn't wait: he ran. The other one made to go, but Joker stepped in front of him. "Ah ah, you, my friend, are less lucky."

"But, I didn't know-"

"Does that really make it any better?" Joker asked softly. He swung the bat, and in an instant it was all over. He handed the bloodied weapon to Jonny, then knelt down to untie Harley.

"I told you not to go alone," he scolded gently.

"How did you know where I was?"

"I always know."

She was free, and put her arms around Joker's neck, kissing him once on the lips. "Thank you," she whispered, and he nodded. Jonny approached, handing her the bat, which he had already wiped clean. Joker took her past the truck, where one of his cars was waiting, and the two of them got inside.

* * *

Harley and Joker had been driving for a couple of minutes before Harley asked the question on her mind.

"Why did you let one of the guys go?"

"I didn't let him go," Joker corrected. "I gave him a head start. The boys will catch him."

"Still, you gave _him_ a chance but not the other one. Why?"

Joker shrugged. "He shot his friend."

"Yeah, but I doubt he was trying to make things right. He was probably just terrified of you."

"Then he was smart." Joker reached across, putting his hand on her leg and squeezing it gently.

"How did you know where I was?"

"I had Jonny track your cellphone when you didn't come back."

"Is there anything that guy can't do?"

"Look after a bear: he's terrible at that. He wants you to take the thing back."

Harley lit up. "I want him back! Let's go and get him right now!"

Joker smiled, slowing at a red light. His phone rang, and he glanced down at the name on the screen.

"What is it?" He answered, putting it on speakerphone.

Selina sounded nervous. "Something's come up."

"You need help?" Joker asked, eyes flicking to Harley.

"No, nothing like that. But there's something you need to see."

"Where?"

"The library." She hung up, and Joker threw Harley a curious look.

"You know what this is about?" He asked.

"No," Harley answered honestly. "She sounded a little worried."

"You want me to drop you off at home?"

Harley gave him a look that told him exactly where he could shove that idea, and he smiled. "Ok then."

* * *

The library was dark and empty. Harley supposed it wasn't the kind of place the people in this city were likely to flock to when given free reign to do whatever they wanted. She felt a little uneasy, why did Selina want to meet them here? What had come up?

She followed Joker through the main room of the library, where the huge bookcases looked a little eerie: with the books casting distorted shadows in the moonlight. Joker moved towards a small room at the back where there was a light on. He stepped through the door first, then stopped in his tracks. Harley squeezed past him, following his gaze, before finding herself frozen on the spot too.

"Bruce," she said his name in little more than a whisper, though he wasn't Bruce right now. He was dressed as the Batman. She'd almost forgotten about him over the past few days, forgotten that he'd disappeared from Gotham when Bane took over. He'd got back somehow.

He didn't seem to care that Harley had used his real name, and just nodded at her, before looking back at Joker. Joker himself had said nothing, but regarded Bruce with an expression of curiosity and anticipation. Selina was leaning against the far wall, and stepped forward.

"I ran into our friend this afternoon. He's here to stop Bane."

Joker didn't break eye contact with Bruce. "We've got it under control."

"No. You haven't." Bruce spoke in his gruff Batman voice, not sounding like the man Harley had cared so much about, and just like the Bat. She hated the bat. Even now, knowing his true identity, she felt a wave of something like anger wash over her. She looked at Joker, who raised an eyebrow at Bruce's response.

"You've got information, Bats?" He asked, casually sitting on a seat at the nearby desk, and putting his feet up on the polished wooden surface. "I'm all ears."

"Selina told me about your plan."

Harley glanced at Selina, realising for the first time that she wasn't in her usual Catwoman attire: that meant Bruce knew her secret identify now too. In fact, the only person in the room whose name was still a mystery to everyone else was Joker. Bruce continued. "Attacking Bane in two weeks will be too late. The bomb is deteriorating: it's going to go off in two days."

Joker had always been a master at controlling his reactions, and even now, he looked as though this wasn't news. Harley stepped a little closer. "How do you know?"

"I know."

That seemed to be enough for Joker, who sighed, massaging his temples. "Ok. I'm assuming from the fact that we're talking right now – and not strung up in one of your little bat-traps – that you need our help?"

Bruce paused, as if unwilling to admit that Joker was right. Harley looked at him questioningly. "What do you need?"

"You've assembled a small army. With them you might just stand a chance. They won't work with me."

"Because every time they've met you, you've beaten them to a pulp or locked them up in Arkham?" Selina suggested.

Bruce nodded. "They don't trust me, and I know I'm the one person they hate more than Bane. But they'll work with you. I want you to carry on with whatever plan you were going to use, but do it sooner, and leave Bane to me."

Harley scoffed, turning to look at Joker. No way he would want Bruce to take over his mission. Joker smiled. "No."

Bruce turned back to Selina. "I told you."

Selina moved forwards. "Joker, you don't care about Bane, you said yourself the others were welcome to try to kill him-"

" _Try,"_ Joker repeated. "I said they were welcome to try. I was always going to be the one who killed him."

"Why do you care?" Selina asked. The question had been on Harley's lips too, but in a room with both Bruce and Joker, she felt it was probably better to take Joker's side.

Joker shrugged. "This is my city, he's twisting it into something he wants. He doesn't understand Gotham: doesn't understand the way the chaos has to run. And I don't like his voice. So I'm going to kill him." He looked over at Bruce. "Besides, the Batman hasn't yet explained what he's bringing to the party. I've got the men, the guns, the plan. What have you got, Bats?"

"A way to ensure the triggerman can't blow the bomb before you get a chance to diffuse it."

The room was silent for a moment: that was definitely an instrument they could use. Harley spoke up. "Let's just say, for arguments sake, that we agree to let you join us... Two days isn't enough time, not for all we need to prepare. Plus we need a reason for Bane and his men to be in one place, and that's not happening for another two weeks."

"I had some ideas about that," Bruce began.

Harley looked at Joker, who seemed to be thinking it over. She turned back to Bruce. "Nigma won't have finished creating the device to disarm the bomb permanently yet."

"I can help with that."

"Well don't we just have all the answers?" Joker drawled sarcastically.

"You'd work with Riddler?" Selina asked Bruce, her tone doubtful.

"I'm saving this city. With or without your help. But with would be easier."

Harley and Selina both turned to Joker. His expression was serious, and she knew he didn't like the idea of working with the Bat. But he knew, as well as Harley did, that it would be far better to have him on side than working against them.

"What happens afterwards?" Harley asked Bruce. He didn't answer, so she continued. "Once this is done, and we're all heroes for saving this city, what happens to us?"

Selina moved a little closer. "Yeah, are you planning on rounding all of us up and shipping us back to Arkham?"

Bruce smiled. "I guess that's a chance you'll have to take. I'm sure I can't take all of you. Not at once."

"Doesn't mean you won't try," Selina muttered.

"I suppose you'll just have to work harder," Bruce added.

It wasn't exactly reassuring, Harley got the distinct impression Bruce hadn't forgiven Joker for killing Robin (hardly surprising), or herself for going back to him, but she supposed it left a little wriggle room. Besides, if he was right about the deadline for the bomb then they needed all the help they could get. She turned back to Joker, who got to his feet. He moved closer to Bruce, smiling his silver smile. There was a moment where neither one of them moved: neither speaking or even blinking. Then Joker thrust out his hand. Slowly, resentfully, Bruce shook it.

"Looking forward to working with you, partner," Joker grinned.

* * *

Riddler was stressed. Harley could hear that the second she walked through the door to his base. He was muttering angrily, pacing the room as he thought aloud, before returning to his desk, fiddling with his tools, and then pacing again.

"Working hard?" Joker asked, walking into the room as though he owned the place (his usual walk). Riddler gave him a scathing look.

"Don't even start. I agreed to work with you, clown, agreed to help you, but you said we had two weeks. Two days is just ridiculous. What do you think I am?"

Joker rolled his eyes. "There aren't enough words to answer that, believe me. But, I have something that will cheer you up." He turned, pointing as Bruce walked through the door behind them. Riddler, to his credit, didn't recoil or even look afraid. He eyed Bruce up and down, then spoke only to Joker.

"You've brought the Bat as a gift?"

"No," Bruce answered for him.

"A shame," Riddler sighed. "Still, I'm assuming there is a reason for his sudden appearance? And for the fact that I'm not currently having my head hit against the wall?"

"He's working with us," Harley replied. "And he has some new toys for you." Riddler looked intrigued, and watched as Bruce walked over to the nearby table. He took out various tools, bits of tech, and other things that Harley didn't recognise, but made Riddler practically giddy with excitement.

"Yes, these will work," Riddler grinned. "Say, Bat, what has no eyes but can see, no ears-"

"Save it," Bruce interrupted. "Just make sure we can stop this bomb exploding. We need it by tomorrow."

Riddler said nothing, simply throwing him a scathing look and turning back to his tools.

Joker, Bruce, and Harley headed back to the car. Jonny was driving, and the three sat in silence. Harley was in the front, with Joker and Bruce in the back. Harley had to admit, it looked a little strange to see the Joker and the Batman sat next to each other in the back of a car, each one pointedly ignoring the other. She grabbed her cellphone, turned, and aimed.

"Smile boys!" She grinned, then snapped the picture. She looked at it. "Oh, this one's a keeper."

Bruce said nothing, but Joker grinned. "You didn't get my good side."

"Oh sweetie, they're all good," Harley winked.

Joker turned to Bruce. "She is so sweet, the stuff she says. Well, you should know."

Harley knew where this was going: Joker was trying to antagonize Bruce, trying to get a rise out of him. So far, though, Bruce wasn't going for it. Joker turned it up a notch.

"You know, she said the funniest thing the other day, I'll never forget because I was inside her at the time-"

"Ok baby," Harley interrupted, "We get it."

But now, it seemed, Bruce was ready to have his say. "It's good to hear she's still got her sense of humor. When we were dating she was still trying to get over this guy who treated her so badly. I forget who he was. I think she forgot too, because I soon got her laughing again."

"It's that small is it?" Joker countered. But Bruce wouldn't be dissuaded.

"Being able to make a woman laugh is a lot better than making her cry. I think the kind of man who makes a woman cry all the time isn't really a man at all."

"I don't know, I made her cry last night, but that always happens after her fifth orgasm. You probably remember…oh right. Never mind."

"Ok guys," Harley began. "That's enough."

"That's nice," Bruce continued, ignoring Harley. "I've never needed to use sex as a way to keep a woman."

"Maybe you should've," Joker added, talking as if he was speaking to a child. "If I recall, your last girlfriend left you for the Scarecrow man?"

"Easy now," Harley interrupted again.

Bruce was raising his voice a little now. "You think you're somehow superior to me? Just because she came back to you? I'm not a man who uses women to get what he wants, then drops them when he's bored. And I'm definitely not a guy who takes a nice, normal woman, rips her out of her life, and molds her into a female version of himself."

"Harley is who Harley is."

"No, Harley is who you made her."

"Stop!" Harley yelled, silencing them both. "You're both acting like jackasses. Joker, I dated Bruce. I kissed Bruce. I let Bruce feel me up-" she narrowed her gaze as a smug smile flickered on Bruce's lips. "Oh stop, I did more with my date for prom, and he was wearing a monocle." Joker sniggered, and she turned back to him. "But I _did_ care for Bruce, and you acting like a jerk and rubbing his face in the fact that we're together doesn't help anything." She looked back at Bruce now. "And Bruce, I'm sorry that things ended the way they did, and I'm sorry that you don't like Joker, but I'm happy and this is my choice. No one forced me to be the person I am today. The two of you need to stop trying to out-dick each other and just be civil." She turned back around in her seat, facing forwards and not looking at either of them. There was silence for a few minutes, before Joker asked:

"Your prom date wore a monocle?"

Harley gritted her teeth. "Yes."

"Why?"

Harley shrugged. "I don't know, he thought it looked good?"

She heard movement, and turned to see that both Bruce and Joker had leaned forwards in their seats. Bruce looked to be thinking, then asked. "What, so, he didn't have any problems with his eye?"

"No, he didn't have anything wrong with the eye."

Pause.

"It wasn't lazy or-"

"No! He just thought a monocle was cool."

Another pause. Joker shrugged. "Ok. He just liked the monocle."

"That's completely normal," Bruce agreed, his face serious.

"They were popular for a while."

"Yeah…I mean, not recently."

"He looked fine!" Harley argued.

"Oh yeah, of course."

"Sure, how could he not?"

Another pause. Bruce leaned a little closer. "So, did you wear anything…unusual?"

"No."

"No parasols?"

"No."

Bruce kept pushing it. "Did you have those binoculars on a stick that they used to bring to the opera?"

"No. I had nothing unusual."

Joker recapped. "So it was you, in a normal prom dress, and him, in a tux, wearing a monocle."

"Yes."

Another pause, longer this time. Harley began to think perhaps they had dropped it.

"Was he from the 1800's?" Bruce asked.

"Did it fall out when you let him feel you up?"

"Did he have a curly mustache?"

Harley gritted her teeth, facing forwards and trying to ignore the sniggering from the back seats. She crossed her arms across her chest. "Hey, remember how I used to date Bruce? And now I'm with Joker? Why don't you go back to talking about that?"

* * *

"Do you think I should get a monocle?"

Harley turned around in the bath, splashing water at Joker behind her.

"Not funny. I can't believe you two went from hating each other to teasing me like frat-bros for the entire journey."

Joker grinned, pulling her back so that she was leaning against his chest. He nuzzled his head into her shoulder, kissing it gently. They were in the large tub in Joker's bathroom, with the water high, hot, and full of bubbles. Harley had lit some candles, in an effort to help the two of them relax: they had a big day tomorrow. Joker had been on the phone most of the evening, rearranging the plan with the others. He couldn't call Croc, the guy didn't have a phone, so they were counting him out for the fight ahead. Joker had been able to contact Two-Face and Penguin though. One of them had taken the news better than the other. As if on cue Joker's phone rang again, and he picked it up from the little table beside the bath.

"Yeah?" He answered. Harley didn't have to be close to hear it was Penguin. He was probably yelling loud enough for Jonny outside to hear. He'd been calling on and off all night, arguing that he didn't have time to get his men ready, and that working with the Bat was the worst possible idea. Joker sighed, bringing his fingers to his temples. "Yes. Yes. No. That doesn't matter. No. Just tell them to do it. What? Say you'll kill them if they don't. Then kill one anyway. No. Yes." Harley moved to the other side of the bath so she could watch him. Sitting there, in the bath with Gotham's most dangerous criminal, was such a surreal experience. It felt like only yesterday that she was back in her apartment, sitting in her own bath alone, crying because Joker had kicked her out. She shook away that thought, it wasn't one she wanted to think about, not anymore. Joker rolled his eyes at her, making the 'bla bla bla' sign with his hand as he listened to Penguin squawk. Harley smiled, then reached for the sponge beside her. She squirted on some bath lotion, and began to massage it over her skin. She started with her shoulders and arms, then moved down to her breasts, rubbing in the thick liquid slowly and carefully. It smelt of coconut and vanilla, and she was vaguely aware she was going to smell like a cake during the fight tomorrow. It was nice though, relaxing at least. She glanced up, realising that Joker was watching her. "Yes," he continued, still talking to Penguin. "That's true. Yes. Well if that happens we just kill them all. Exactly. What? No I wouldn't do that. No. Because fire spreads."

Harley stood up, letting the bubbles travel down her body, and running the sponge over her stomach now. She delicately rubbed in the lotion, moving the sponge lower, then lower again. Joker's eyes never left her. "Uhuh. Right. That all sounds fine."

Harley held up the sponge, offering it to him. Joker grinned. "I've gotta go." He hung up the phone, despite the fact that Penguin was still talking, and tossed it onto the floor.

"You'll break it," Harley said, raising an eyebrow.

"I've got others, open your legs."

* * *

"This feels pretty fucking stupid," Harley muttered. "Like this is going to be the way I get killed."

"You'll be fine."

"Easy for you to say."

Bruce gave her a withering look. "I think of the two of us, I'm the one in most danger here."

The two of them sat in the back of a black truck, being driven towards city hall – Bane's base of operations. In the back with them were two of Joker's men. Another one drove the truck. Joker and Jonny weren't there, they had other things to prepare.

The truck pulled up outside city hall, and Harley got to her feet in the back. "You ready?" She asked.

"Just do it," Bruce replied, his voice firm.

Harley grinned. "This might sting a little, sweetie." Then took her baseball bat and struck him across the face.


	15. Chapter 15

**Hope you like this chapter guys! Sorry it's so long coming, things have been crazy as my husband and I get ready for our vacation! I'll try to update more over the next two weeks as I SHOULD have more time! :)**

 **I promise, it's not laziness that makes me so slow, and I'm not bored of the story. I'm trying really hard to get a novel written, and any time I'm writing this, I feel guilty for not focusing on that, and vice versa!**

 **Thanks for your wonderful comments, every time I read one it motivates me to actually hurry up and post, so thank you!**

* * *

Harley's heart hammered as she headed up the steps towards city hall. It was 9.00AM, relatively early for the new Gotham, and the streets were empty. Harley walked in front, with two of Joker's guys half dragging, half carrying, Bruce behind her. He didn't look great, Harley had done a real number on his face.

When she reached the huge doors she pushed them open and headed inside. City hall was huge, and the interior of the once grand building was now covered in graffiti and full of garbage. Harley raised an eyebrow, muttering to herself: "Love what you've done with the place, Bane."

Crane had told her last night where Bane would most likely be: a room at the end of the hall. She headed that way, and found herself in a huge open space. On one side of the room were a mountain of desks, all piled up on top of each other, with a larger one at the top. Papers and scrolls trailed from the top downwards. Harley could see, even from the other side of the room, that Crane was sitting at the top desk. There were a few people hanging around, but all turned to look at her as she entered.

"Harley Quinn?" Crane addressed her as if they were little more than acquaintances. She knew it was for the benefit of Bane's guys.

"In the flesh," Harley grinned, giving a little curtsey.

"What do you want?"

"I have a gift," Harley grinned, eyes focused on Crane rather than the growing group of men appearing in the room. She nodded over her shoulder, where Joker's guys appeared, dragging Batman.

Crane raised an eyebrow, then looked at the nearest man: "Get Bane."

There was an awkward silence while they waited. Harley cleared her throat gently, looking around the large room.

"So-" she began.

"You don't need to talk," Crane interrupted. "Silence is more than acceptable."

Harley felt a grin play on her lips, but simply nodded.

Moments later the masked man arrived. He walked slowly but confidently into the room, regarding Harley for the longest time as he strode a circle around her. Then he moved to Bruce. Harley had done a good job: his face was bruised and bloodied, and he stood as though she had also seriously injured his legs and arms (which she had not). Finally, after what felt like the longest time, Bane spoke. Though he looked at Bruce, she knew he was addressing her.

"Why did you come here?"

Harley spoke slowly, as if to a child. "To bring you the Bat."

"I _had_ the Bat. I had him locked away, far from here. Now he's in Gotham. With you." Bane moved closer, circling her again, hands open wide. "So I have to ask, where did you find him?"

"A few of my boys said they'd seen the Bat," Harley lied smoothly. "Thought maybe he was hiding out in the library. I went to have a look. I got lucky."

"Clearly."

More silence, so Harley continued. "If I had to guess, I'd say he was planning something. He had all these maps of city hall up on the walls."

Bane moved over to Bruce again. "Looks like your fate...is tied with Gotham's." He nodded and three of his men approached, taking Bruce from Joker's guys and dragging him away. Bane now turned back to Harley, raising an eyebrow. "You were expecting a reward?"

Harley grinned. "Well if you're offering-"

"I'm not."

Harley rolled her eyes. "Then it's a good thing I wasn't expecting it."

"Why did you bring him here?" Bane asked. His mask made it hard to tell whether or not he was genuinely interested.

"It never hurts to suck up to the man in charge," Harley shrugged.

"I'm not in charge, no one rules Gotham but the people."

"Uhuh," Harley replied, looking around at the courtroom. "Can _anyone_ have their enemies exiled here?"

Bane might've been smiling, but again, it was hard to tell. "The people judge, not me."

"Actually, _he_ judges," Harley corrected, nodding at Crane, before giving him a little wave. "Hi Craney."

"Friend of yours?"

"Hardly," Crane interrupted.

"We used to sleep together," Harley whispered.

"Don't remind me," Crane drawled, rolling his eyes.

Harley grinned, then turned back to Bane. "See you later, handsome." She made to leave the room, but Bane's voice called her back.

"Don't you want to know what we're doing with the Bat?"

Harley shrugged. "I guess it's up to the people? Right?"

Bane definitely smiled then. "Exactly." He took a step closer. "You might be able to help me. I've been trying to locate the Joker, however so far I have had no luck. Could you bring him a message for me?"

"We're on a break," Harley replied, hoping she sounded convincing.

"But I'm sure you know where to find him. Just tell him: he cannot continue to live for himself alone. He needs to decide where his allegiance lies, and decide soon." He looked at her, his eyes cold. "Do you think you can remember that?"

"I'll write it down," Harley replied flatly. Then she turned, not waiting to see his response, motioned for Joker's boys to follow, and left the courtroom. She had only made it a few steps down when Bane's voice echoed out of a large speaker system attached to the wall.

"People of Gotham, spread the word: the Batman has returned to our city. This criminal, this vigilante, this icon of a broken society, is not wanted here. He, like the old Gotham, is destined to burn. And burn he shall. Come, watch the last reminder of a rotten world go up in flames, in one hour. Spread the word."

Harley felt her stomach sink. An hour wasn't much time.

* * *

Harley walked a couple of blocks, the newly laid snow crunching beneath her boots. She shivered, rubbing her hands along her arms to warm them up. Once again, she wasn't exactly 'weather appropriate', wearing hot pants, boots, and a short sleeved t-shirt. But sometimes you had to suffer to look good. She found the new truck and banged on the side. Seconds later the door opened, and she climbed in. Joker stood up, grinning.

"How'd it go?"

Harley smiled. "I nailed it."

"I knew you would." He pulled her in, kissing her enthusiastically, ignoring the fact that there were other people in the back with them.

"Yeah, yeah," Selina interrupted, "Can we save the celebrations until after we've actually won?"

Harley pulled away - because Joker was clearly about to ignore Selina's request - and sat down beside her friend. Selina was in her full Catwoman attire, and looked beautiful, as always. Her friend looked at Joker. "Bane's announcement said it's happening in an hour. Is that enough time?"

Joker nodded. "Yes."

"And if it's not?" Selina persisted.

Joker shrugged. "The Bat gets a tan."

Selina looked more than a little worried at Joker's casual response, and Harley wondered again if she might be developing feelings for Bruce, but of course now was not the time to discuss it. Harley put her hand on her friend's arm. "He's kidding, Bruce will be fine."

Joker looked as though he was in fact not kidding at all, but didn't contradict her. Selina nodded. "Ok."

Riddler, who'd been sitting silently for the last few minutes finally piped up. "Miss Quinn, you'll be needing this." He handed Harley a small backpack.

"Ugh, green?" Harley asked, looking at it with an unimpressed expression.

"Sorry," Riddler replied dryly. "I was all out of rhinestones and pink glitter."

Harley grinned, slipping the bag onto her back.

"The bag contains the device to begin the shutdown sequence, as well as the one to stop remote detonation. Please be careful." Riddler spoke to her as if she was a child, and Harley gave him an over-enthusiastic smile. She made her tone as sarcastic as possible.

"Oh thank you Mr Nigma, I'll be super careful with your cool computer stuff!"

Riddler rolled his eyes. "Just don't drop it on the floor."

Harley smiled insincerely. "I'll try."

Riddler moved over to the doors of the truck. "I need to organise my people. I'll be in touch." He stepped out, letting in a blast of cold air, before shutting the door behind him.

"He's such an ass," Harley muttered.

"Why can't he just disarm the bomb?" Selina asked.

Harley shrugged, but Joker explained. "He could, but I don't trust him not to suddenly change the game at the last minute: maybe decide to hold the bomb for ransom or something. I only trust Harley."

Selina stared him down. "Thanks."

Harley got to her feet, and gave Joker a kiss on the cheek. "See you later. Be careful."

Joker nodded, watching as she and Selina moved towards the doors of the truck. Selina climbed out first, and Joker called out to Harley before she left. " _You_ be careful."

Harley grinned. "Always."

Her point might have been more reassuring if she hadn't then immediately lost her footing when climbing out of the back of the truck, causing herself to slip on the ice and land on her ass. Selina helped her to her feet, and Harley chanced a look back into the truck, where Joker was looking more than a little worried.

"I'm totally fine," Harley reassured. "Love you, bye!"

* * *

Harley and Selina stood in the square, not far from city hall. She hadn't wanted to get too close, she knew what was happening next, but she needed to be close enough to see. And she could. Bruce was tied to a metal pole, surrounded by books and paper. They hadn't taken his mask off, for some reason.

"Bane wants him to be Batman," Selina explained. "He wants to kill the symbol: that only works if he's got the mask on."

Harley nodded, watching as men began to pour gasoline over the books. Her heart was hammering, they had to move quickly. Bane stepped out, talking into a microphone.

"People of Gotham. What you see before you is the last stain on Gotham's long, corrupt, and bloodied history. The Batman started out, I'm sure, as a force for good. I have no doubt the man behind the mask had good intentions. But sadly, those intentions were lost to greed and corruption. How many of you today had your freedom taken away by the Batman?"

Cheers and shouts from the crowd. Harley bit her lip, Bruce had certainly made a lot of enemies. In fact, almost all of the crowd seemed to consist of criminals. That was good: it would make it harder for civilians to get caught up in the crossfire. Bane continued.

"But today, justice will be served. Today, finish what we started and take back our city. Today, the Batman burns!"

Cheers and applause all around them. Some people had signs or even dummies wearing Batman masks. Harley had no idea how they had made them so quickly. Maybe they'd been anticipating this day for a long time?

"There!" Selina whispered, pointing to Bane's left. Harley nodded, she could see the trucks: three of them, one of which contained the bomb. The two women began to move quickly and quietly through the crowd. No one paid them any attention: everyone was too busy celebrating the impending death of the Batman. Batman, the one person who had kept their city safe and protected the innocent.

 _None of these people are innocent,_ Harley thought angrily. Then she scolded herself: she was hardly innocent either, though she at least respected what Bruce was trying to do.

The crowd were still jeering and celebrating as the flaming torch appeared, held by Bane himself. Harley's eyes widened.

 _Any time now!_ She thought, looking around anxiously. _Hurry up!_

At that precise moment, just as Bane was approaching Bruce with the torch, the truck appeared. This was another one: a huge 18 wheeler, which screeched up the street and through the crowd, only stopping when it collided with an office building. The truck had come from a carnival: and had the slogan: _Laughter is the best medicine,_ written on the side. Joker had added an 'S' to the first word, changing the vibe somewhat. It smashed into the building with a huge crash, which actually shook the ground at Harley's feet. The back doors opened, and Joker's men poured out, opening fire on the crowds. Harley saw Joker himself following them, holding a shotgun. He laughed as he fired at anyone who tried to take him out. She could see Penguin's men and Dent's men (who had been scattered and hidden amongst the crowd) suddenly lift their own weapons and open fire. But Bane's guys were hardly tourists, and fought back quickly. The other people in the crowd also clearly weren't afraid of a little firefight, and almost all produced weapons or began punching, kicking, and strangling anyone they could get their hands on.

"Let's go!" Harley yelled over the noise, beginning to pull her friend in the direction of the bomb. She chanced a look at Bruce, who had already freed himself and was currently fighting off three of Bane's men. Bane himself was nowhere to be seen.

"Harley!"

She turned around at the sound of her name to see Jonny holding up her baseball bat, he tossed it in her direction and she caught it with one hand. He was looking over her shoulder, and she turned just in time to smash it against the face of a man aiming a gun at the back of her head. The bat collided with his skull with a crack, and he went down like a bag of rocks. Harley turned back to Jonny, blew him a kiss, then followed Selina towards the trucks.

The vehicles were usually heavily guarded, but thanks to the fighting they had been all but abandoned. There were a couple of guys still close by, but Harley and Selina made short work of them, and soon they had the trucks to themselves. Harley opened the back doors of the first one to find it empty, and the same with the second. She held her breath as she grabbed the handle of the doors on the last one. What would she do if these were all decoys and the bomb was somewhere else?

Luckily she didn't have to worry, when she opened the back of the truck the bomb was sitting right there. There was a man next to it, who aimed a gun at her the second she opened the doors. He lowered it a little, upon realising she was a woman, and looked like he wasn't sure what to do. Harley took that moment of hesitation and used it to her advantage. She grabbed onto the top of the doorway and swung herself inside, kicking out and knocking the man to the floor. Once down, she let Selina drag him outside and got to work. She pulled off her backpack and quickly attached the device to stop remote detonation. The instructions from Riddler on using this device had been simple:

" _Just stick it to the bomb and flip the switch."_

" _I don't need to type in a code?"_

" _Stick it to the bomb and flip the switch."_

 _Harley had raised an eyebrow. "It just seems too easy. Isn't there anything-"_

" _Stick it to the bomb and flip the switch."_

" _Ok!" Harley had sighed._

" _Do you want me to write it down?'_

" _No."_

" _Are you sure, because I've had to say it three times."_

" _I don't need you to write it down, Nigma."_

Harley attached the device to the bomb, muttering in an unflattering imitation of Riddler's voice: "Just stick it to the bomb and flip the switch, Harley. Do you need me to write it down? Because I'm so smart and you're so dumb. Do you even know what a switch is?" She snorted, flipping the switch. Then she reached into the bag for the second device. She felt a scrap of paper and pulled it out, turning it over to read what was written on the other side.

 _Just stick it to the bomb-_

"Son of a b-"

"Harley?" Selina leaned in through the door. "How are we looking?"

Harley screwed up the paper and threw it to the floor. "Fine," she muttered through gritted teeth. "Remind me to beat Nigma half to death when we see him."

Selina raised an eyebrow. "Just half?"

Harley shrugged. "Let's see if these things work, then I'll decide how hard to beat him." She reached into her bag, but she was interrupted by Selina.

"Get out, Bane's men are coming!"

"I haven't disarmed the bomb!"

"If they find us doing it they'll stop us anyway. Hide the device, we can come back when they're gone."

Harley looked around: there was a small space between the bomb and the wall. Hurriedly she stuffed the backpack into the gap, and clambered out of the truck. Selina slammed the doors shut, and pulled her friend around the other side. The two of them hurried on, back into the crowd. Everything was still chaos: Joker's, Dent's, and Penguin's men were all fighting, as were Bane's. Harley couldn't see Bruce, or Joker, or anyone else she recognized. She glanced back at the truck, Bane's men seemed to be guarding it now, but they hadn't opened the doors. That was good.

"What should we do?" Selina asked.

But Harley didn't get a chance to answer, as something black was over her face, something with a weird smell. Within seconds her legs were turning to jelly, and she felt herself crumble to the floor.

* * *

"Harley!"

Slowly everything came into focus, and Harley realised that – once again – she'd been taken down by a bag over the head. This was getting a little embarrassing. She felt rough: her head hurt and her hands were grazed. She guessed from where she had hit the ground. Selina sat beside her, not looking quite so hot herself.

"What happened?" Harley asked.

Selina shook her head. "I'm not sure. We were outside, then everything went black. When I woke up we were in here."

Harley looked around. The two of them were in a make-shift prison cell. There were bars on three sides of their square cell, with a solid wall behind them. There were three other identical cells in the row. The cells themselves were lining a long hallway, in what Harley guessed was City Hall. There was no one else around, but she could hear the sounds of chaos outside. The inside of all of the cells were filled with books and other things that Bane clearly didn't think were needed in City Hall anymore. Harley raised an eyebrow. "Well, at least we won't get bored," she sighed, flicking open the cover of the nearest book.

"Harley, look."

Harley looked up, Penguin was approaching, with at least ten armed men. He grinned at the sight of her, and she got to her feet.

"Well well, what happened to you?" Penguin asked in his usual self-important tone.

"We're taking a break," Harley replied sarcastically. "What do you think happened to us?"

Penguin chuckled, raising his hands in surrender. "Oh dear, looks like someone's a little embarrassed. Tell me," he leaned closer. "Did you manage to disarm the bomb?"

"I stopped the chance of remote detonation, but Bane's people arrived before I could finish disarming it completely."

Penguin lowered his brows. "So they have the device?"

"I'm not an idiot," Harley replied sharply. "I hid it beside the bomb, around the back where no one could see. Bane's men have no idea it's there."

Penguin grinned. "Good." He turned and began to walk away.

Harley scowled, putting her hands on the bars in front of her and calling out to the little fat man. "Hey! Where do you think you're going?"

Penguin stopped, turning only slightly. "To disarm the bomb."

"That's my job!"

"Yes, well, it doesn't look like you're in a position to finish, are you?"

Selina was on her feet now too, speaking to Penguin in a gentle, yet impatient, tone. "Cobblepot, your guys could break us out of here in less than two minutes."

"I'm sure they could," Penguin agreed. "Have a pleasant evening ladies." And with that, the bird and his men walked away, leaving Harley and Selina in their cell.

The two women watched him leave. Harley was seething with anger. She turned to look at Selina, who was smiling.

"I'm going to enjoy killing him," her friend grinned.

* * *

"Miss Quinn. A pleasure to see you again."

Harley looked up from where she was sitting with her back against the wall. Bane stood a few inches from the bars, Crane beside him. She could see that Crane wasn't exactly thrilled that she'd been caught, but it wasn't like he could say anything with the masked man next to him. Harley could hear the sounds of chaos from outside: the battle was still going strong while she and Selina were locked up.

Harley got to her feet, as did Selina. "Why am I in here?" She asked. "I gave you the Bat."

Bane nodded. "Yes, you did. A man, not quite as beaten as he looked. He managed to escape his restraints rather easily. Very easily."

Harley shrugged. "That's the fault of your guys, I guess they don't know how to tie knots. Get Crane to do it next time," she nodded at him, letting a smile spread across her lips. "He was always good at tying people up." She winked.

Crane rolled his eyes and tutted, but as soon as Bane looked away she could see he was trying not to smile. Bane continued. "Perhaps, however the timely arrival of the Joker leads me to believe that all might not be quite as it seems?"

"You think I had some kind of big plan?" Harley asked. She shook her head. "I'm not that smart."

Crane nodded. "She's got a point there."

Bane stepped closer to the bars. "No, not your plan." He didn't need to finish, but she knew what he was thinking: that Joker was responsible for all of this. And he was right, of course. But she couldn't say that, couldn't admit to anything, so she just stayed quiet. Bane stared Harley down, not blinking, and it made her feel more than a little nervous. This wasn't going to end well, but what was he planning? Would he kill her? Torture her? Burn her? He already had the place to do it. Maybe she'd have to walk out on the ice like the others? Joker would try to save her, of course, but something about Bane made Harley wonder for the first time if Joker would actually be able to protect her.

"Why am I here?" Selina asked, stepping forward.

Bane still didn't break eye contact with Harley, who tried to stare him down as best she could. "Because you were with her, and I don't trust you."

"You don't know me," Selina purred. "I'm sure I could change your mind."

Bane still didn't look at her, and Harley was beginning to wonder if he ever blinked at all.

Finally he stepped back. "No matter." Without another word he moved away, continuing down the hall. Crane followed, but not before throwing Harley a wink.

"Did he just wink at you?" Selina asked.

Harley nodded, heart still racing. "He's getting us out of here."

* * *

Harley had no idea how much time had passed. There were no clocks in the room. The sounds outside suggested the fighting wasn't going to stop any time soon.

"Bane doesn't know about the bomb," Selina said, pulling Harley out of her thoughts.

"What makes you so sure?"

"He didn't mention it, he didn't say anything about it," Selina explained. "And the fact that he left us here? My guess is he's pretty sure it's going to go off soon, so it won't matter what he decides to do with us."

"How comforting," Harley muttered.

She could hear footsteps, and looked up. She grinned when she saw who it was.

"I'm so happy to see your face!" She called, getting to her feet. "Well, half of it, anyway."

Dent's expression was flat. "Hilarious." He nodded to one of the three men with him, who moved to the door and began applying what Harley recognized as explosive gel. "You might want to step back," Dent muttered.

Seconds later the door was open, and the two women were free.

"Crane called you?" Harley asked.

Dent nodded. "He said you'd screwed up and got yourself caught."

"Well, I wouldn't say it like that-"

"He said it exactly like that."

"Ok."

"Where's the bag?"

"With the bomb," Harley replied. "So we need to get outside to the trucks."

Dent sighed. "It might not be that easy."

* * *

Harley, Selina, Dent, and his men stepped out into the cold air. It was snowing again. She could see more fighting than earlier in the City Square: were those cops who were joining in? That would complicate things. Harley felt Selina tapping her arm, and turned to look at the trucks.

Or rather, where the trucks had been.

They were gone now.

"How long do we have until the bomb deteriorates and explodes?" She asked Selina.

"Not long."


	16. Chapter 16

**Hi guys, thanks for the lovely feedback on the last chapter. I hope you like this one: it's quite short but we're drawing to a close and I'm anticipating the next one to be a big one. Thanks for sticking with me and my slow updates, as I mentioned I've been working really hard on a book I'm writing, and that's taken a lot of my time. I doubt anyone will want to publish it, but you've got to try, right? I love this story, though, so I wanted to take my time over the ending and do it justice. We're not there yet, but it won't be long :)**

* * *

"Fuck." Harley sat down on the kerb and put her head in her hands.

"What are we going to do?" Selina asked.

Dent, who was still beside the two women, simply shrugged. "You need to find the bomb, and soon." With those (not very helpful) words of advice, he and his men joined the fighting in the city square.

"Thanks for that Harv," Selina muttered sarcastically, before turning to Harley. "Where shall we-" she was interrupted by the sound of Harley's cellphone ringing. Harley pulled it out of her pocket.

"You had that the whole time?" Selina asked incredulously.

"I guess so."

Her friend scowled. "You didn't think to use it while we were locked up?"

Harley grinned sheepishly. "Oh yeah, that could've saved us some time. I forgot I had it."

Selina groaned, but Harley was preoccupied now. The caller ID on her phone said: JOKER. She pressed the answer button.

"Hey sweetie," she said.

"How's it going?" Joker didn't sound at all stressed, despite the gunfire and chaos that Harley could her both through the phone, and from the scene in front of her.

"Oh, you know…" Harley began, trailing off.

"What?"

Harley sighed, catching Selina's eye. "Well…the bomb's gone."

"Ok."

"And we don't know where it is."

"Uhuh."

"And the device to disarm it is lodged down the back of the bomb somewhere."

"…It doesn't sound like it's going great, Harley."  
"We can handle it!" Harley protested, suddenly all too aware that she was the one letting everyone down. "You just focus on what you're doing. Selina and I will find the bomb."

"Do you want me to come and help?"

 _Yes._

"No! We're fine, we can do it."

"Ok."

Harley was surprised he gave in that easily, though his tone wasn't altogether convincing. She continued, "We _can_ handle it. But if you have any idea where they might've taken the bomb, that could give us a head start."

"I don't, but you know who might."

 _Of course!_

"You're an angel Mr J!" Harley grinned. "See you later baby, love you."

"Love you too."

She hung up, looking up at Selina. "I know how to find out where the bomb is."

"How?"

Harley grinned, dialing the number into her phone.

Crane answered on the second ring. "It's not exactly wise to call me on this number."

"The fact that you answered suggests that you're alone. You can talk?"

"For the moment. What do you want?"

"Thanks for calling Dent," Harley began. "You got us out of a real mess."

"Clearly not all the way out, if you're needing to call me again."

Harley rolled her eyes. "Jeez, you're such a Debbie downer, Crane. You need to lighten up."

"I'll get right on that. As soon as you ensure I don't get blown up today. How's that going, by the way?"

"That's actually why I called."

"Of course it is."

"The truck with the bomb has gone," Harley explained. "Any idea where it could've gone?"

Crane was quiet for a moment, clearly thinking. Then he spoke quickly. "There are a few places he might've sent it, one seems more likely than the others, but I can't guarantee it will be there."

"It's a start at least."

"It will be well protected."

"We can handle it."

Crane sighed. "I'm sure. I'll send you the location." He hung up before Harley could thank him. Hurriedly she pocketed the phone, the air suddenly feeling colder than before. She wasn't feeling so confident anymore, too much had gone wrong already. But she couldn't let herself be the reason the plan failed: she couldn't be responsible for Gotham getting wiped off the map.

"Does he know where it is?" Selina asked, rubbing her hands over her arms.

Harley nodded. "He's got an idea." As if on cue her phone buzzed, and she glanced at it. "It's not too far, come on."

* * *

"Do you think Bruce is alright?" Selina asked as they made their way to the bomb's location. The roads were pretty quiet, with most people either hiding in their homes or fighting with the others in the city square. The snow had completely stopped, but it was still bitterly cold, and Harley wanted to get this done as quickly was possible so she could go home. She thought longingly of her bed, lying safely in Joker's arms.

 _Maybe he could do that thing to my neck..._

"Harley?"

Harley snapped back to attention, momentarily lost in her thoughts. "Sorry, what?"

"Do you think Bruce is alright?"

Harley looked over at Selina as they walked, a smile spreading across her lips. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you care about Bruce all of a sudden? If I recall rightly, you were never a big fan of the Batman." Harley was only teasing, she already had some idea of why Selina was so interested, but she couldn't help but tease her a little.

Selina, who was the best liar Harley knew, suddenly seemed to blush. "I don't _care,_ I'm just…curious." Harley could tell even Selina realised now unbelievable that sounded.

"You like him!" Harley squealed childishly, pretending to be more shocked than she was.

"No I don't!"

"Oh please," Harley laughed, going back to her usual voice. "I've known for a while, or at least had an idea. It's ok! If you want to date Bruce you can. You _should._ You two would be perfect for each other."

"How so?" Selina didn't sound so certain, but she wasn't denying it anymore.

"You're both strong, intelligent…stubborn."

"I'm not-" Selina cut herself off, realising that by arguing her point, she was in fact making Harley's more true. Harley smiled.

"Bruce deserves to find someone. Especially after…" Harley trailed off.

"After you dumped him for Joker?"

"Actually I cheated on him with Crane first. It got a little messy."  
"I remember."

Harley thought for a moment. "Crane's a good guy too. If you're not set on Bruce, you should go out with him!"

Selina stopped walking and raised an eyebrow. "So my choice is a guy you slept with and then dumped, or a guy you decided not to sleep with…and still dumped. Wow. How will I ever choose?"

Harley grinned. "It's a toughie. Just don't go for the clown. I'd have to kill you."

"No worries there," Selina replied with wide eyes. Harley laughed, and the two of them continued on through the silent streets.

* * *

"Over there," Harley nodded around the corner of the building she and Selina were hiding behind. Selina peered around then stepped back, nodding. The truck wasn't far away, and Crane had been right, it was definitely well guarded. There were around twenty of Bane's men around it, all with guns or knives. Harley was good, Selina might've been better, but even the two of them together were not skilled enough to take down that many armed men. Harley leaned back against the cold brickwork, her mind racing.

"What do we do?" Selina asked, and Harley was too busy thinking to register that her friend was now looking at her as though she were the one in charge. Harley looked around the corner again, just in time to see the truck begin to move. The shutter outside of the building it was parked in front of had opened up, and the truck rolled inside, the shutter closing behind it. All but a couple of the men remained outside, guarding the door.

"Damnit," Selina muttered from beside her. "How are we going to get past them?"

"You're good at climbing, right?" Harley asked.

" _Cat_ woman," Selina answered in response.

Harley nodded to the roof of the three story building which the truck had driven into. "There's a skylight up there, should be easy enough to open. If you can get to the second floor, you can use the fire escape to get to the roof."

"What about you?" Selina asked.

"I'll figure something out. Even if I don't, you can get in and disarm the bomb."

Selina nodded. "Ok, but there's still the fact that there are a ton of guys between me and the building: I can't climb if they're shooting at me."

Harley grinned, she already had an idea about that. She nodded to a store they had passed on their way over. It sold musical instruments. Selina looked at her questioningly. "I'm not sure now is the time to try and learn the recorder, Harley."

Harley rolled her eyes playfully. "Just wait here."

She disappeared, and Selina kept her eyes on Bane's men outside the building. None of them heard the sound of Harley smashing the window to the music store, and soon she had returned, holding a bell a little larger than her hand. Selina was more confused than ever, but as Harley moved to a man-hole cover, Selina started to get a sinking feeling in her stomach.

"Oh no," she groaned.

Harley smiled, despite her racing heart, and lifted off the heavy cover. The smell that she was met with was enough to make her take a few steps back, but she didn't have time to be squeamish. Harley lay down on the cold ground, and lowered her bell-holding hand into the sewers. She rang it as hard as she could, mimicking the pattern she remembered hearing back at Arkham.

It took less time than she would've expected before she heard the splashing. Hurriedly, Harley lifted her arm out of 'snapping-height', but kept ringing the bell, her eyes fixed on the water below.

Two yellow eyes came into view. Sharp teeth. Scaled skin. Killer Croc looked up at her curiously from the darkness, with an expression that looked a little like shame on his face. Was he embarrassed? He had come running to the sound of a bell, just like an animal.

"What do you want?" He growled.

"The plans changed, everything's happening today." Harley grinned. "I rang the bell because it's feeding time. There are some guys at the end of the street whose services are no longer required."

Croc looked at her blankly, so Harley spoke slower. "There are some guys over there who you can eat."

He understood that alright: Croc's mouth stretched into what she assumed was a grin, and he disappeared under the water. Selina stepped closer.

"How's he going to get out?" She asked, looking at the small hole Harley had been speaking down. "He's not going to fit out-"

Selina didn't need to finish her sentence, because the air was suddenly filled with the sounds of screaming and gunfire. Harley and Selina ran back to where they had been standing before, and chanced a look around the corner. It appeared Croc had literally punched a hole through the concrete of the road, and littered all around him were limbs and bodies. A few men were still attempting to fight him off: others were dead or running in the other direction. Harley smiled at her friend. "Ok kittycat, time to see what you can do."

* * *

Harley thought Selina had undersold herself with 'Catwoman'. 'Monkeywoman' might've been more appropriate, or 'Spidergirl' perhaps, because she was up that wall before Harley could even begin to imagine what route she might take. While Croc was laughing and chewing on some guy's leg, Selina was already halfway up the building, and by the time he reached the ankle, she was out of sight.

Harley didn't have to wait long before Selina arrived and opened the door.

"I thought you'd disarm it without me," Harley said.

"I don't need that kind of pressure in my life," Selina replied with a smile. The two of them headed towards the truck, where Harley saw three men on the ground.

"I did deal with these guys on my own though," Selina added.

"Spoilsport."

Harley opened the door of the truck with a smile on her face.

Unfortunately, the smile soon faded. The bomb wasn't there. Instead they found Ivy, bound and gagged in the back. Selina swore loudly, kicking the truck in anger. Ivy's eyes widened at the sight of them, and she began making sounds under the gag.

"What are we going to do?" Selina asked, "We don't have time to search the whole city."

Harley didn't answer, stepping into the truck and towards Ivy.

"What are you doing?" Selina asked.

"Untying her," Harley answered simply.

"Why?"  
Harley paused, turning around to Selina. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Because she's crazy?"

Harley raised an eyebrow. "Have you met my boyfriend?"

"Good point, but Ivy wants to kill you."

Harley shrugged. "So do most people I meet. She's on our side, and I can't just leave her here. Besides, she hasn't killed me yet."

"Because you've always had Joker or Crane around. She's scared of them. She's not scared of you."

"Selina, I'm doing this."

Selina held up her hands as if to say 'Your funeral', but made no further comment. Harley stepped closer to Ivy, kneeling down in front of her.

"I'm going to untie you," she said quietly. "Please don't make me regret it."

She couldn't tell what Ivy was thinking, but took a chance and freed her. Slowly Ivy got to her feet, rubbing her wrists. She pulled the gag off her mouth, eyes never leaving Harley.

"Thank you." Her voice was cold, but Harley comforted herself in the fact that she hadn't been strung up with vines yet. Maybe Ivy _was_ a little scared of her? Harley turned to give Selina a big 'I told you so' smile, and then realised why Ivy hadn't tried to kill her yet. Selina had picked up one of the guns Bane's men had been holding, and was pointing it square at Ivy. She was smiling. "Nice to see you again Ivy. Bye now."

Ivy scowled. "You think that thing would stop me killing either of you if I wanted to?"

Selina shrugged. "I'm not sure," she pulled back on the hammer of the gun. "Shall we see?"

Ivy gave her a cold smile. "Not today." She turned to leave, then looked back at Harley. "I heard one of them say the bomb was at city hall."

Harley raised an eyebrow. "Why would Bane keep it there? That's where all the fighting is."

"Maybe he wants to keep it close. If you've done your job right then he can't trigger it remotely, correct?"

Harley nodded. Ivy continued, "Perhaps he's planning to set it off in person. I'd hurry if I were you." She turned and left, and Harley watched as Selina lowered the gun. "You know how I said you have really bad taste in men?" She asked.

"Yeah?"

"You also have really bad taste in friends."

Harley smiled. "You know you have to include yourself in that comment, right?"

"I'm the exception to the rule."

"Uhuh, so, back to city hall?"

"I guess so."

Harley watched as Ivy stepped outside, and immediately a long green vine appeared as if from nowhere, wrapping around her and pulling her gently out of sight.

"Do you think she's going to keep her word and help us?" Selina asked.

Harley had no idea.

* * *

"So…the building is on fire."

Harley nodded. She hadn't been expecting this. As they rounded the corner and caught sight of city hall, behind the mob that were still fighting in the square, they realised the building was ablaze. It wasn't completely wrecked: Harley could see most of the fire seemed to be contained to the top floors, but she still wasn't overly thrilled about heading inside. Still, it wasn't like they had much of a choice. The bomb was in there, so that's where they needed to go.

 _Unless Ivy was lying and sending us into a trap._

 _Let's not think about that right now._

The two women ran to the main doors, dodging the attacks of Bane's men and a few cops who didn't seem to realise that the two women weren't part of the fight. Harley could forgive them: most cops probably didn't think it likely that Catwoman and Harley Quinn would be on their side. In the entrance foyer Harley saw the most beautiful sight: Joker, beating someone to death with a baseball bat.

Ok, the baseball bat bit might not have been so beautiful, but the sight of Joker made it perfect nonetheless. He turned when he heard them come in, wearing an expression of curiosity, as well as a smile for Harley.

"Sweetie?" He began. "What are you doing here?"

Harley flung her arms around his neck, and he dropped the bat, holding her tightly, and lifting her a little into the air. She kissed him gently on his lips, enjoying just for a moment how soft they were.

"Ahem," Selina coughed. "Not now, Harley."

"Right," Harley replied, moving out of Joker's arms. "Bane moved the bomb, it's here somewhere."

Joker looked around. "Well that's great. I wish I'd have known that before…" he trailed off.

"Before you set the building on fire?" Harley guessed. Joker grinned in response. "Ok," Harley bit her lip. "We need to find the bomb, before the building goes down. And before it goes off. And just hope that the backpack with the device for deactivating it is still jammed inside. Simple."

"What could possibly go wrong?" Joker asked, holding up his hands casually. "Come on." He motioned for the women to follow, and they headed for the stairs. "There's a secure room on the next floor, if the bomb's anywhere, it's got to be there."

Harley nodded.

They were halfway up the stairs when the building started to shake. "Is it the bomb?" Harley asked, her heart racing. Was this it? Were they too late?

Joker listened intently. There was a sound Harley didn't recognise: like something heavy breaking. "No," Joker answered above the noise. "The fire's weakening the building, we need to be fas-"

The ceiling above them began to cave in, and Joker grabbed Harley's hand, pulling her out of the way just in time. It collapsed just inches from where the two of them fell. A few seconds later the dust settled, and the stairs down were now completely blocked. Harley jumped to her feet. "Selina!" She yelled. No response. Harley looked helplessly at the pile of debris where she and Selina had just been standing.

"Selina!" Harley called again.

"I'm ok," came Selina's voice from beyond the rubble. "It missed me. Are you ok?"

Harley felt herself physically relax: she had been so sure her friend was dead. "Yes. You go back, we'll get the bomb."

"Are you sure?"

"No time to talk about it, just go."

"Good luck," Selina replied.

Harley turned, Joker stood behind her. His face was covered in dirt, blackened with smoke, and his clothes were dirty and torn. He had a cut on his arm that was bleeding pretty heavily. Harley looked down at her own ripped and blackened clothes. She had several cuts on her legs and arms, though nothing as deep as Joker's. She took Joker's arm and pulled at the sleeve of his shirt: ripping it unevenly. She hastily wrapped the material around his bleeding arm, pulling it tight.

"Ow," he said sarcastically.

"Oh don't be a baby," she grinned, securing the make-shift bandage in place. She looked at the pair of them and smiled. "We look a mess," she muttered.

Joker stepped closer, lifting her chin so he could kiss her once on the lips. "Always perfect to me, baby," he replied. Then he took her hand. "Come on, we need to finish this."


End file.
